(no subject)
Not thinking about it has helped, alot. I guess you can't go forever, pretending that nothing happend, it seems quite impossible....I was lying in my bed lastnight, thinking, when it hit me. He..meant alot to me, maybe too much. Of course, I have no one to talk about it with, and i'm not allowed to tell my mum, which is who i usually go to with problems such as these.
My friends say i appear, physically and mentally, kind of lifeless. I wasn't sure why until last night..it's a firmiliar feeling, i've been like this before...before..I met..well, him. My problem is, i'm trying to make this as easy as possible for HIM...and he well, he seems quite happy, i wouldn't want to ruin that..but damn, why'd he ruin is for ME?..WHY DOES EVERYONE RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ME?...and why am I all the sudden writing about this is my journal..it happend well over two weeks ago. I wish I had the strength to tell him...I miss him..So..so..so much..it's driving me up the wall..eh, i'll live of course, live a lifeless life as I did before, trying to find the least bit of hope..but knowing i'm hopeless. If that makes sense?
eh, note, sorry if i seem somewhat selfish, it's unintentional.
My friends say i appear, physically and mentally, kind of lifeless. I wasn't sure why until last night..it's a firmiliar feeling, i've been like this before...before..I met..well, him. My problem is, i'm trying to make this as easy as possible for HIM...and he well, he seems quite happy, i wouldn't want to ruin that..but damn, why'd he ruin is for ME?..WHY DOES EVERYONE RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ME?...and why am I all the sudden writing about this is my journal..it happend well over two weeks ago. I wish I had the strength to tell him...I miss him..So..so..so much..it's driving me up the wall..eh, i'll live of course, live a lifeless life as I did before, trying to find the least bit of hope..but knowing i'm hopeless. If that makes sense?
eh, note, sorry if i seem somewhat selfish, it's unintentional.