Friends
"Well I'll choose the life I've taken, never mind the friends I'm making
and the beauty that I'm faking lets me live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
And you can cry all you want to, I don't care how much.."
I don't have many friends.Literally.I can put them down,each and every friend I have.Although I went to boarding school,a sport-boarding-school,I don't make many friends.Well,not because I was weird or anything it just I refuse to put myself in this clique thing.The boys and girls in the clique/The awful names that they stick/You're never gonna fit in much, kid. says it all.
I have to admit,it was hard.You try so hard to fit in and want everyone to like you.While I was 14,there was a group of girls-12 of 'em,called themselves some shitty name-and I wasn't one of 'em.I was busy with Subculture and my Galaxie magazines(and obsessing over MrSA) so that pretty much occupied me.Of course I was sad when they didn't invite me over to their birthday parties or sat with them in dining hall but I managed.
I owe my sanity in friendship to my best friends.Em & Jaa were my best friends since I was 13 but they both transfered to another school after PMR.I felt so fuck up because that same year,MrSA hooked up with Lind*(but they broke up after finished school) and we became enemy.Losing your best friends and crush/love at the same time is the most depressing thing that could happen in adolescent.
At 16,my room mates(6 of us) were all my juniors.What the hell?? and it didn't help when they all had this impression that I am a snob,goody-two-shoes and fierce senior.Oh.My.God.After being with them practically 24/7,me and Ddieq became BFF.We were two most different person but we just click.I miss her.
I wasn't that socially retard,I *do* have a couple of good friends that I still keep me until now.
Interesting enough,one of 'em happen to be a bi.Few days ago,we chatted over y!msgr and talked about how some people still have the same attitude even after all these years.To my surprise,she said something about me.While she had this lezboship with F back in school,I was the only person that came up to her and asked,'what ups with you and F' and..didn't asked further.I guess I didn't really bother because for me,I don't judge people.Nobody is perfect,at least I am not.
The reason,simple,because I don't freaking want others to fucking judge me.
and the beauty that I'm faking lets me live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
And you can cry all you want to, I don't care how much.."
I don't have many friends.Literally.I can put them down,each and every friend I have.Although I went to boarding school,a sport-boarding-school,I don't make many friends.Well,not because I was weird or anything it just I refuse to put myself in this clique thing.The boys and girls in the clique/The awful names that they stick/You're never gonna fit in much, kid. says it all.
I have to admit,it was hard.You try so hard to fit in and want everyone to like you.While I was 14,there was a group of girls-12 of 'em,called themselves some shitty name-and I wasn't one of 'em.I was busy with Subculture and my Galaxie magazines(and obsessing over MrSA) so that pretty much occupied me.Of course I was sad when they didn't invite me over to their birthday parties or sat with them in dining hall but I managed.
I owe my sanity in friendship to my best friends.Em & Jaa were my best friends since I was 13 but they both transfered to another school after PMR.I felt so fuck up because that same year,MrSA hooked up with Lind*(but they broke up after finished school) and we became enemy.Losing your best friends and crush/love at the same time is the most depressing thing that could happen in adolescent.
At 16,my room mates(6 of us) were all my juniors.What the hell?? and it didn't help when they all had this impression that I am a snob,goody-two-shoes and fierce senior.Oh.My.God.After being with them practically 24/7,me and Ddieq became BFF.We were two most different person but we just click.I miss her.
I wasn't that socially retard,I *do* have a couple of good friends that I still keep me until now.
Interesting enough,one of 'em happen to be a bi.Few days ago,we chatted over y!msgr and talked about how some people still have the same attitude even after all these years.To my surprise,she said something about me.While she had this lezboship with F back in school,I was the only person that came up to her and asked,'what ups with you and F' and..didn't asked further.I guess I didn't really bother because for me,I don't judge people.Nobody is perfect,at least I am not.
The reason,simple,because I don't freaking want others to fucking judge me.