ill make this post public.
You never think the last time is the last time. You always think there will be one more, but one time there wont.
I saw this quote again the other day and I began thinking about it in depth. I know a down fall of mine is I think too much into things. When I first put that quote into my journal I was wrong. What I thought was the last time, ended up not being the last time. I just continue to become even more confused regarding the whole situation. However, on the other hand its just keeps dragging on for years and I'm over it. i'm kind of numb to the whole situation. When something so called new happens in the situation it doesnt even bother me. Its like I expect him to already break my heart over and over that there is nothing left to break. How come I continue to let him back into my life. Why does he even want to be in my life? We obviously can not be friends. We have too much history for that and we have already proved being friends is not an option. However, being more then friends looks to not be an option either. Which leaves us in this unknown territory. I wish I had an answer. Oh well, at least it doesn't have a big hold on me. Oh and I met a guy in budapest..... if only I was in budapest for a few more days.... I guess thats why I thought about that quote again. Anyways, I am going to graduate from college soon. Move away and start my life away from all these people I now know. I have lived though a semester studying abroad in an underdeveloped country and traveled europe. All this before I turn 22!
For years now I have been struggeling with the I guess you could call it finding out my purpose/idenity. I am responsible, reliable, over-thinker, and a laid back person. I enjoy just hanging out and from time to time going out. I don't know what I'm trying to get at here. I don't really like to write and I'm not very good at writing down what I'm thinking. I'm just seeing if this makes sense.
In a few days I will head back to MSU to finish out my college education for now. I'm sure this semester will be a lot of fun.
just stuff on my mind.
2009!