what i goingz on?
okay...today was fun, i didn't feel good at all! AT ALL!!! i tried to hold it together though. im getting worse i can feel it...wanna know how bad it's been? today when i was waiting for the class to start, i fell asleep at the piano, THE PIANO!!!!! i was only sitting there for five minuets! that's really bad...its the chemo, it makes me sooo sleepy it's rediculous!
so yeah i perked myself up for the rest of the day. i had a really good time with my "parents". "mom" and "dad" were with me and micheal, we went to Narbonne and we went to south bay to eat chick-fil-a, well they ate, i didn't. "mom" didn't either, she didn't get a chance to really, she had to take me back to my car, i kinda feel bad for that. tomorrow if i have time, i'll make her a card and some brownies.
chemo makes food tates really horrible...i don't know why, and you're not hungry really...so amber and keenon think that micheal likes me. im not really sure how i feel about that...i mean i like micheal, but i don't think that im romantically attracted to him, i wouldn't mind being his girlfriend though, weird huh? but i highly doubt that micheal is attracted to me, at least i don't see it
i don't try to make myself appealing to him...im very shy about my body. like my butt, i have a pretty big butt, and i try to hide it, i even change the way i walk so i don't draw attention to it. but after a while, it starts to really hurt so i just let it go, but then when i do that, i switch. i HATE switching!!!!! i really do. my mom calls it a strut, but that is my natural walk, i strut, switch, whatever you want to call it. i realy fight against that thing, but my butt has a mind of its own. i try to control it, but it never listens to me.
besides, he's always talking about other girls and the kind of girl that he would like to date and i don't fit any of those descriptions, trust me! i don't know how to handle or deal with this for that matter. i don't have many expreiences with guys...the only ones i did, were where i was being molested, or my boyfirend hitting me...i know that's kinda harsh, but that's the way it is.
so yeah i perked myself up for the rest of the day. i had a really good time with my "parents". "mom" and "dad" were with me and micheal, we went to Narbonne and we went to south bay to eat chick-fil-a, well they ate, i didn't. "mom" didn't either, she didn't get a chance to really, she had to take me back to my car, i kinda feel bad for that. tomorrow if i have time, i'll make her a card and some brownies.
chemo makes food tates really horrible...i don't know why, and you're not hungry really...so amber and keenon think that micheal likes me. im not really sure how i feel about that...i mean i like micheal, but i don't think that im romantically attracted to him, i wouldn't mind being his girlfriend though, weird huh? but i highly doubt that micheal is attracted to me, at least i don't see it
i don't try to make myself appealing to him...im very shy about my body. like my butt, i have a pretty big butt, and i try to hide it, i even change the way i walk so i don't draw attention to it. but after a while, it starts to really hurt so i just let it go, but then when i do that, i switch. i HATE switching!!!!! i really do. my mom calls it a strut, but that is my natural walk, i strut, switch, whatever you want to call it. i realy fight against that thing, but my butt has a mind of its own. i try to control it, but it never listens to me.
besides, he's always talking about other girls and the kind of girl that he would like to date and i don't fit any of those descriptions, trust me! i don't know how to handle or deal with this for that matter. i don't have many expreiences with guys...the only ones i did, were where i was being molested, or my boyfirend hitting me...i know that's kinda harsh, but that's the way it is.