just venting, even though i've never been happier

[ash007]

I feel so out of control of the things that i'm so in control of. I'm working 10 to 12 hour days, every day with the exeption of a few to see my boy. I only see Kailey because she fucking thankfully works with me. When she didn't I was hardly seeing her cause of her other job, and her boy... And I haven't seen anyone that I need to see before I go away. And it isn't that, need-to-see-you-once type of thing, that makes moving away for 4 years okay... I need to see certain people alot before I leave, because i'm gonna die when it comes time to actually leave. This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I'm so excited to go to university, I have my schedule, my courses, my residence with my bestest woman, enough food to feed half of me which could probably do me good, and a family that's finally supporting me and finally letting me know how proud they are and how great i've been about so many things. But then going away means that my boyfriend is still here, and that my friends are still here, and that my family is still here, everything that i've worked for since the move... is going to be so far away.

But what makes this scenario so different from everyone else that's going away to university right? I just miss my friends alot, and I can't even find time to see them enough. I can't even make the time.. without sacrificing money for university, or time with my boy, or family time at this point. I need to fucking burn down my workplace, and then rob a bank to even things out. Then i'd have all the time in the world to -