vaginismus and asexuality

[nulz]

I'm an asexual woman and few months ago I was diagnosed with vaginismus and wondering if there's a connection with asexuality. I'll cut this as there is a discussion of sex.

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Vaginismus and Asexuality

[ext_5415631]

Hi there! I was also diagnosed with vaginismus. Doctors were baffled, asking me if I had been sexually abused. I reported that no, I luckily had not been, and they offered no other suggestion as to why.

I have no trouble inserting toys or tampons. Very little to no pain at all. Pelvic exams even go okay. But the actual act of penetrative sex is extremely painful.

But here's the other thing: as long as I can remember, I have never been interested in participating in sex. I love the idea of it, I can bring myself off with fantasies about other people having sex, but including myself in the act or fantasy is almost a turn off.

I have been married for 8 years and even when we don't have penetrative sex, I still have very little interest and feel nothing "down there" in the moment. I'm very calm, very neutral, but very unmoved sexually. I love experiencing the intimacy with my husband, I love that I'm able to please him, but I'm not able to reciprocate the sexual desire.

Am I an asexual person who happens to have vaginismus? Do I have vaginismus because I am asexual? Am I asexual at all? I don't know the answer to any of these questions, and I've begun a long journey to find the answer to them.