Post I found

[zsomeone]

This is a really great post, I just wanted to share it http://grasexuality.wordpress.com/2012/03/28/how-to-have-sex-with-an-asexual-person/
Lots of other good posts on that site too if you want to read around.

Comments

[cheriola]

As someone with a penis, I would need to be sexually attracted in order to function. It's not something that you can just turn on and off like a light switch.

Congratulations. You've just told every male rape survivor who reads this forum (and, statistically, there have to be a few) that if he had an erection during his ordeal, be it due to physical stimulation, high adrenaline, force-fed drugs, or a simple abuse of his sleep hormone cycle, he must have secretly wanted to be assaulted by the rapist.

Plenty of people all throughout history have had sex with people whom they weren't sexually attracted to. Often even relatively voluntarily (if you ignore social pressures and decisions made by parents for their sons and daughters). Marriages were arranged for economic and political reasons, the bride and groom might not be able to stand each other on a personal level, and still children had to be produced. Yes, that issue could hit even the men - why do you think kings had so many mistresses? And plenty of closeted, married gay men managed to father the expected children. (As mentioned above, you've just invalidated their sexual identity with your generalisation. I'm sure they would be thrilled if they would read this forum.)
Male prostitutes also exist, who like all prostitutes don't have the luxury to chose their clients based on personal attraction. And during a porn production, there are so many people around (non-porn actors will tell you that accidental arousal in simulated sex scenes is never a problem, because the situation is stressful and really, really unsexy) and the male performers are expected to be "up and running" for so long and at such short notice, that there is very little attraction or desire and far more manual stimulation and viagra involved. Plus, ever heard of the term "gay for pay"?

Besides, a lot of asexuals still masturbate for simple physical release, and don't need anything to focus their nonexistent attraction on to do that. Are you saying they must be sexually attracted to themselves (that's autosexual, not asexual) or fetishising their toys?

If performing without sexual attraction is physically impossible for you and this doesn't bother you, good for you. But please don't go around generalising from your own experience to everyone else in such a potentially damaging manner.

[parlance]

Thank you for posting such a measured response to a loathsome comment.