DS9 Fic, Homesick Possession
Kukalaka’s eyes sprung open when he heard the door. He relaxed, however, with a small outtake of breath as Julian entered.
Ever since being rescued from that Bajoran woman, Leeta, Kukalaka had been slightly on edge. Oh, it wasn’t that he hadn’t liked her-in fact, she was one of the better people his Julian had ever dated. It was just that he couldn’t stand being away from his Julian; homesickness is fatal to teddy bears, after all.
There was a glowing smile on Julian’s face as he came over to where Kukalaka was reclining on the sofa. He picked the bear up and greeted him fondly, hugging Kukalaka to his chest and carrying him to their bedroom.
Kukalaka nuzzled into the Starfleet uniform, taking in his Julian’s warmth. It was so lonely when Julian was working, but Kukalaka knew he was doing good work as a doctor. He knew firsthand how valuable Julian’s skills were.
Julian laid down on the bed, hands leaving Kukalaka and propping up his head. Kukalaka staid on his chest, eyes open now and staring at the doctor; he waited for his Julian to speak first, to tell him how his day was.
It wasn’t long before Julian opened up like he always did, divulging every little detail about his day. There hadn’t been any major medical emergencies, something Kukalaka was grateful for-those always meant that his Julian had to spend more time away from him. Then Julian started talking about his lunch with Garak, describing some debate they had gotten into over literature.
Kukalaka didn’t really understand, he had never bothered reading Cardassian literature and never would. He preferred Julian to read out loud to him, usually an exciting spy novel or fantasy book about a daring hero. Those were his favorites.
Regardless, Kukalaka nodded and listened, letting his Julian’s words flow over him until the doctor tired himself out and fell asleep. Kukalaka smiled at his human and drew the covers over both of them. Kukalaka followed him soon into the dream world, Julian’s heartbeats leading him like breadcrumbs.
…
When Kukalaka awoke he was alone, blanket still over him but the spot his Julian had occupied long cold. The bear sighed wistfully and decided to snuggle deeper into the covers. More sleep would mean less time waiting for Julian.
His dream was a nightmare, a strange creature chasing him from the shadows. It had a wicked laugh that cut straight to his stuffing.
…
It was late when Julian came home, looking worn and out of it. He greeted Kukalaka half heartedly and patted the bear on the head before heading for a shower. Kukalaka paced back and forth, worry for his human growing the longer he stayed in there. There wasn’t even any singing like usual; Kukalaka knew it was bad.
After what the bear thought was an eternity Julian finally emerged from the other room, naked sans a towel clinging to his thin waist. He bent down and scooped the little teddy bear up then headed for the bedroom.
Julian slowly pulled on his pajamas as Kukalaka watched from the bed. He winced when the human groaned, the sound coming from Julian’s very soul.
After he plopped ungracefully down on the bed, arms outstretched above his head and furrowed eyes fixed on the ceiling, Kukalaka scooted up and nuzzled reassuringly into Julian’s side. He remembered wistfully when Julian was a small child, before he learned what his parents had done to him, and how he had always managed to banish the boy’s darkness, if only for a little while.
It’s harder for a teddy bear to make a war all better than a cut knee or a bully’s unkind words, though.
It took hours for Julian to fall asleep, and when he did the poor boy thrashed around from some abominable nightmare. Kukalaka didn’t leave his side, but he knew he wasn’t doing any good.
…
Several days went by and Kukalaka barely saw his Julian. He was needed as a doctor, and Kukalaka was proud that his Julian was so important to the station. That didn’t make the quiet of their quarters any less frightful.
But like a good little bear Kukalaka waited patiently, trying not to sleep too much in case Julian came in and needed him. Not to mention his nightmares had been getting steadily worse, too.
It was when three days went by with no sign of his Julian that Kukalaka really began to worry. He asked the computer if the doctor was still onboard, thinking maybe that he had gone somewhere in a hurry and hadn’t had time to pack. The stocking was shocked right out of him when he learned that Julian was in Elim Garak’s quarters.
Kukalaka started pacing around the rooms in a tiny fury, angry at being ignored and left out of the loop. Julian almost never forgot to tell him when he was going to spend the night at someone else’s, especially not for three days in a row! What if something happened? What if that Cardassian hurt his Julian?
Kukalaka didn’t sleep that night, his mind too abuzz with thoughts of his human and the alien liar.
…
It was the day after that when Julian finally came home, all smiles and glowing like a lovesick fool. Kukalaka frowned at him briefly, tiny padded foot tapping disapprovingly. Then Julian saw him and apologized for being away for so long and the teddy bear melted in his arms.
Julian took him to the bedroom and laid him down. He started going through his clothes, gushing about Garak like a teenager with a crush. Unfortunately, Kukalaka realized, Garak had a crush right back.
For the next several hours it was Garak this, Garak that, and by the end of it Kukalaka was ready to pop a stitch. It didn’t help that Julian (his Julian, thank-you-very-much) kept trying on different outfits and modeling them, asking if Kukalaka thought Garak might think he looked good in it. Kukalaka said Julian looked good in anything, but the human hadn’t seemed to be listening as he started on again about Garak.
…
After that Julian kept constantly having lunches and dinners and sleepovers with Garak, and Kukalaka grew lonelier and lonelier and angrier. When he slept the shadow monster in his nightmares seemed to transform more and more into a Cardassian, and in every dream the Cardassian shadow would have Kukalaka in his grasp just before he woke up with a small gasp of terror.
It got so bad that the bear swore off sleep, unless Julian was sharing his bed. Since that happened less and less as the days went by Kukalaka spent more time awake with nothing to do but pace.
One day he wasn’t paying attention and bumped hard into the bookshelf. He fell back, but the thread on his arm had gotten caught and to his horror Kukalaka saw his seam rip; a tuft of stuffing poked out of the wound.
He gulped, but didn’t cry. He clutched the injured arm to his chest and waited for Julian to come home and fix him.
Thankfully Julian did come home that night, rushing over to Kukalaka’s side and whispering reassurance to the teddy bear. He took down his sewing kit and in no time Kukalaka was as good as new.
Julian stayed with him that night and they had dinner together, Julian serving Kukalaka tea in the bear’s favorite tea cup from a set Julian had been given as a child. Kukalaka was able to smile his first one in several days.
That night, snuggled up against his Julian’s radiant warmth, Kukalaka didn’t dream of Cardassians.
…
Kukalaka came up with a brilliant plan: if he could just find reasons for Julian to stay the doctor would never go back to that Garak of his.
Sure, the only reasons he could come up with involved undoing his stitching, but the physical pain was much less excruciating than the empty stinging in his chest when Julian was away.
So Kukalaka would rip a seam here, loosen an eye there, and if he really needed to up the ante he would sever a limb and pray that Julian hurried home that night.
Sometimes he stole only a few minutes, other times he was able to get Julian’s attention for hours. Each moment, no matter how small, that his Julian graced him with was absolute bliss for Kukalaka.
One day, however, after Julian finished stitching up a small cut on the back of Kukalaka’s ear, Julian admitted something big to Kukalaka-something big, and something frightening. Julian loved Garak.
There was a far off twinkle in his bright eyes as he told Kukalaka his secret and Kukalaka knew that horrible Cardassian was so close to completely stealing away his Julian.
Julian didn’t spend the night; he was needed in the infirmary. Kukalaka dreamt of a Cardassian looming over a silent and still Julian.
…
Kukalaka knew he had to act fast. If he didn’t, his Julian would be lost forever and he’d be left on his own; and a life without his Julian wasn’t worth living.
It was several more days, but finally Julian spent the night in their bed again. He passed right out, tired from working so hard to save the lives of everyone caught in some explosion caused by the bad people trying to hurt the station. This was Kukalaka’s chance.
Carefully the little teddy crept from his Julian’s loose embrace and crawled to the edge of the bed. He dropped down, mindful not bust a steam; he couldn’t afford to be injured right now.
Kukalaka made his way to the other room and went over to the bookshelf. Kukalaka climbed and climbed, taking his time and mindful not to drop anything lest he wake Julian up. It was a long hour, but finally Kukalaka managed to reach the top shelf, where Julian kept his sewing kit along with spare parts like extra stuffing and buttons.
Kukalaka fastened the kit around his waist and started down the bookcase. It was quicker this time around. Soon his tiny feet touched the ground and he hurried back to the bedroom. He grabbed onto a corner of the sheet hanging down and dragged himself up.
On the bed, Kukalaka looked over at his still sleeping Julian. He smiled as he threaded a needle. Then he took out the stuffing, eager to replace the heart that Garak had stolen from him.
You can read the sequel here.