Becoming an Adult
So here I am...waiting...anxiously waiting for my assignment. I am in my student teaching orientation. While I sit at this table on my own watching others pour in I realize a couple of things.
1. Everyone looks more "adult" more than me.
2. Everyone one pretty much is happily greeting others as if they were old friends..which I have no clue as to who anyone is in this room. This is due to the fact that I had to take some classes that my counselor failed to tell me about and therefore am not really with my original class.
3. I am nervous as hell.
To add to the crazy fact that I am friggin nervous I had a stupid dream that I was student teaching.
The funny thing is....that I really don't feel like any of this is real. I still find it hard to swallow that after this semester I will be a full-fledged adult with a college degree.
I think I have Peter Pan syndrome because I am desperately wishing that I could just go back in time and have more fun when I was a "kid". I have friends that are excited about cons in the summer and I want to be excited too but then I start thinking like an adult.
"What am I going to do for a job?"
"Where will I live?"
"What should I do if I can't find a job?"
"Marriage?"
All crazy questions that are floating in my mind that I am trying not to have them take over me and make me go crazy. I am really hoping that this semester will go by like a blur and I will just wake up and have my diploma in hand. I wish it were all a big dream that where If I do mess up...it won't count against me cause it technically isn't real...it's a dream.
10 more minutes before the meeting starts.
There are a lot of people in this room now. My table is still empty while others are full. Is it bad that I like being alone at my table? I would rather not have to strike up conversation with a random girl asking me what grade I am hoping for, or what school I want to teach at, smiling the biggest freaking smile like she just won the lotto. I think that s kinda what gets me the most with some of my fellow "classmates" a lot of them live in some sugary la la land in which teaching kids is like a gift from God. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching, but I don't think that I am going to be the next Freedom Writer or Dangerous Mind.
Oh snap...some people just sat at my table....and what do you know...they are smiley and happy....
7 min till the meeting starts...
I wonder if they will let me keep my laptop on.
Oh gawd...they just called friends over...I have Sex and the City at my table....oh no...
*sigh* sorry for the crazy, weird, rant type entry.
I promise to write something a bit more upbeat soon.
-Asenva
1. Everyone looks more "adult" more than me.
2. Everyone one pretty much is happily greeting others as if they were old friends..which I have no clue as to who anyone is in this room. This is due to the fact that I had to take some classes that my counselor failed to tell me about and therefore am not really with my original class.
3. I am nervous as hell.
To add to the crazy fact that I am friggin nervous I had a stupid dream that I was student teaching.
The funny thing is....that I really don't feel like any of this is real. I still find it hard to swallow that after this semester I will be a full-fledged adult with a college degree.
I think I have Peter Pan syndrome because I am desperately wishing that I could just go back in time and have more fun when I was a "kid". I have friends that are excited about cons in the summer and I want to be excited too but then I start thinking like an adult.
"What am I going to do for a job?"
"Where will I live?"
"What should I do if I can't find a job?"
"Marriage?"
All crazy questions that are floating in my mind that I am trying not to have them take over me and make me go crazy. I am really hoping that this semester will go by like a blur and I will just wake up and have my diploma in hand. I wish it were all a big dream that where If I do mess up...it won't count against me cause it technically isn't real...it's a dream.
10 more minutes before the meeting starts.
There are a lot of people in this room now. My table is still empty while others are full. Is it bad that I like being alone at my table? I would rather not have to strike up conversation with a random girl asking me what grade I am hoping for, or what school I want to teach at, smiling the biggest freaking smile like she just won the lotto. I think that s kinda what gets me the most with some of my fellow "classmates" a lot of them live in some sugary la la land in which teaching kids is like a gift from God. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching, but I don't think that I am going to be the next Freedom Writer or Dangerous Mind.
Oh snap...some people just sat at my table....and what do you know...they are smiley and happy....
7 min till the meeting starts...
I wonder if they will let me keep my laptop on.
Oh gawd...they just called friends over...I have Sex and the City at my table....oh no...
*sigh* sorry for the crazy, weird, rant type entry.
I promise to write something a bit more upbeat soon.
-Asenva