Knock Before Entering | Billy/Casey, Rick | PG
Title: Knock Before Entering
Author: asemic
Fandom: CHAOS (tv)
Pairing/Characters: Billy/Casey
Rating/Category: PG/Slash
Prompt: Humor, Rick finds out about them
Summary: Rick’s attempt at revenge backfires.
Notes: Written for smallfandomfest
"How long are you going to sit there looking like mommy caught you spanking it to daddy's pornos?"
Rick glanced slightly to the left and met Billy's face. He looked like he was ready to burst into hysterical laughter in between landing blows on Rick's jaw. He didn't want to meet Casey's eyes. It'd be like staring into a gaping black hole, sucking
Sucking.
Licking.
No, no, no.
He scrubbed his face with his palms and groaned. "I have so many questions, but I don't want the answers."
"Twelve," Casey stated. He cracked his neck before working his finger joints with his thumb. "I could kill you twelve ways with my pinky and this plastic bottle."
Said water bottle was waved for effect. Rick swallowed.
"Oh, this is going to be fun," Billy exclaimed. He clapped his hands and leaned forward. "Now I'm not one for solving things with violence, but every now and again I enjoy a good show."
"Look," Rick raised his hands up as if it could placate them. "I could forget this even happened. I could," he paused and hoped he found the right words. "I could walk right out that door and drive off. Nothing happened here. I didn't see a thing and you two could get back to doing," he trailed off and dropped his hands to his knees. "Not going to happen is it?"
"Nope," Casey said. Billy threw himself back into the cushion and shook his head.
"What my esteemed colleague," he drawled the word out, thickening it with his accent, “here believes in is communication. Relationships are enhanced through moments of deep discussion and compromise."
"I don't think Casey's the type to engage in extended conversation. But I, I never thought you’d blow him, Billy."
"Every day is a learning experience, Martinez," Casey said. "For example you thought you could break into Billy's apartment and had quite a lesson."
Billy raised his finger. "Actually, why were you breaking into my place?"
Rick had a very good reason for that. He did, really. It involved revenge over Billy, Casey, and Michael doing the very same to him. He would never do it to Casey because the prospect of broken bones was not at all appealing. Michael would shake his head like a disappointed father. Rick was certain he would plan an overly detailed and violent revenge. Again, broken bones, a ruined reputation, and constant pangs of paranoia would not be advantageous to his well being.
Therefore Billy was the best target. He was laid back and they had a decent rapport. They'd have a bit of a laugh over a few beers, shoot the shit about their colleagues and sports. How naive he was.
When he threw open the door he found Billy and Casey in the living room doing something that made him shout and stagger blindly into the hall. The image flooded back into his memory. He took a breath.
"Does it matter anymore?" Rick stammered weakly. He dropped his head in his hands and sighed dramatically. "Who else knows?"
"Only God, you, and our respective neighbors. I'm very loud in bed," Billy teased with a wink.
"Come on," Rick groaned. "I want to do this night over again."
"That'd be nice. We were in the middle of something I would like to return to," Casey murmured.
"He's insatiable. A regular machine," Billy laughed. Rick wanted to plug his ears and hum. Nothing could stop his brain from echoing the wet sound of-
"I have to work with you people!" Rick flailed his arms as emphasis. "This is situation they didn’t include in the HR handbook!”
"How do you think we feel?" Casey reached for a pen on the coffee table and spun it around his knuckles. Rick wondered if being stabbed would hurt. Casey would make it hurt. "You barged in on us. I think we need time to work out this potentially dangerous situation."
"Dangerous?" Rick swallowed as Casey gripped the pen like a knife. "Please put that down."
"No one is going to hurt you, Rick. We like you and I guess we can trust you enough to not ruin the already messed up thing Casey and I have." Billy snatched the pen from Casey's fingers and flung it behind him. Disappointment momentarily flashed in Casey’s face, replaced by his normal stony expression. It’s like he remembered he didn’t need a pen to cause Rick grievous injuries.
Hooray.
"What I don't get is how you two became you two." Rick brought his pointer fingers together. Billy and Casey looked at one another, locked in a brief and silent debate over answering the question.
“Believe it or not, Martinez I am a ladies’ man,” Casey said. The laugh escaped before Rick could stop himself. He brought his fist to his mouth and coughed while Casey continued. “I’m alluring. It helps that I can satisfy numerous women sexually at the same time.”
Rick’s head exploded.
Billy sighed. “It’s true. You’ve never heard the rumors around DS&T?”
“There are rumors?” Rick said weakly. “I don’t want to hear the rumors.” He regretted everything.
“They don’t walk with me there. There’s no need for you to feel inadequate,” Casey said. Rick smarted slightly. “It’s only natural that my sexual prowess extends to men.”
“Okay. Let me continue before he attempts suicide with a lamp cord,” Billy said. He patted Casey’s thigh. They probably screwed everywhere what with Casey being some sort of sexual god. Even on the couch Rick was sitting on. Hm.
“Please,” Rick sighed. Billy slung his arm around the back of the sofa, his fingers teasing Casey’s hair. It was almost sweet, Rick admitted to himself. He could never see this happening anywhere but in private. He felt horrible. Horrible and scarred.
“While we all are jealous of your weekly sexcapades, I believe I can get to the heart of the matter. Rick, you’re still green. This job has a tendency to crush whatever relationships you have or want. They don’t share that in the promotional flyers or the Bond films.” Billy suddenly looked tired, his eyes distant. “You’ll learn that, Rick. Sometimes you think you can escape it, but it’ll get you in the end.”
“I don’t want that,” Rick admitted. His life changed for the better once he entered Headquarters’ doors, but he wanted to pretend that certain things would stay the same.
“No one does. The options are limited. There are casual flings, celibacy, or you turn to someone in the same situation. You can imagine which one I choose to avoid,” Casey said. “He feels the same.”
“I do.” Billy pointed at him, eyes steady. “We have a good thing going, Rick. We have fun. The sex is fantastic and we know who we are. At work I’m the charming bastard and he’s the dour human weapon. Here we’re Billy and Casey, kings of the boudoir.”
“Martinez, I hope this isn’t going to be a problem,” Casey asked.
No, it wasn’t. More than anything it was so sudden; it was going from zero to escape velocity in a second.
“I’ll be fine. I promise nothing will leave this room,” Rick met their eyes to affirm this point. “I think I’ll go now.”
Billy jumped off the couch. “Ah, yes. Let me show you to the door.” He pressed his palm against Rick’s back and guided him as if to make sure he wouldn’t get lost during the three feet journey. “Thank you for stopping by, see you on Monday.”
He was shoved past the threshold, the door shut and triple bolted. Rick paused then headed for the elevator. This job was full of surprises. He was almost worried about what Monday would bring. Almost.
Author: asemic
Fandom: CHAOS (tv)
Pairing/Characters: Billy/Casey
Rating/Category: PG/Slash
Prompt: Humor, Rick finds out about them
Summary: Rick’s attempt at revenge backfires.
Notes: Written for smallfandomfest
"How long are you going to sit there looking like mommy caught you spanking it to daddy's pornos?"
Rick glanced slightly to the left and met Billy's face. He looked like he was ready to burst into hysterical laughter in between landing blows on Rick's jaw. He didn't want to meet Casey's eyes. It'd be like staring into a gaping black hole, sucking
Sucking.
Licking.
No, no, no.
He scrubbed his face with his palms and groaned. "I have so many questions, but I don't want the answers."
"Twelve," Casey stated. He cracked his neck before working his finger joints with his thumb. "I could kill you twelve ways with my pinky and this plastic bottle."
Said water bottle was waved for effect. Rick swallowed.
"Oh, this is going to be fun," Billy exclaimed. He clapped his hands and leaned forward. "Now I'm not one for solving things with violence, but every now and again I enjoy a good show."
"Look," Rick raised his hands up as if it could placate them. "I could forget this even happened. I could," he paused and hoped he found the right words. "I could walk right out that door and drive off. Nothing happened here. I didn't see a thing and you two could get back to doing," he trailed off and dropped his hands to his knees. "Not going to happen is it?"
"Nope," Casey said. Billy threw himself back into the cushion and shook his head.
"What my esteemed colleague," he drawled the word out, thickening it with his accent, “here believes in is communication. Relationships are enhanced through moments of deep discussion and compromise."
"I don't think Casey's the type to engage in extended conversation. But I, I never thought you’d blow him, Billy."
"Every day is a learning experience, Martinez," Casey said. "For example you thought you could break into Billy's apartment and had quite a lesson."
Billy raised his finger. "Actually, why were you breaking into my place?"
Rick had a very good reason for that. He did, really. It involved revenge over Billy, Casey, and Michael doing the very same to him. He would never do it to Casey because the prospect of broken bones was not at all appealing. Michael would shake his head like a disappointed father. Rick was certain he would plan an overly detailed and violent revenge. Again, broken bones, a ruined reputation, and constant pangs of paranoia would not be advantageous to his well being.
Therefore Billy was the best target. He was laid back and they had a decent rapport. They'd have a bit of a laugh over a few beers, shoot the shit about their colleagues and sports. How naive he was.
When he threw open the door he found Billy and Casey in the living room doing something that made him shout and stagger blindly into the hall. The image flooded back into his memory. He took a breath.
"Does it matter anymore?" Rick stammered weakly. He dropped his head in his hands and sighed dramatically. "Who else knows?"
"Only God, you, and our respective neighbors. I'm very loud in bed," Billy teased with a wink.
"Come on," Rick groaned. "I want to do this night over again."
"That'd be nice. We were in the middle of something I would like to return to," Casey murmured.
"He's insatiable. A regular machine," Billy laughed. Rick wanted to plug his ears and hum. Nothing could stop his brain from echoing the wet sound of-
"I have to work with you people!" Rick flailed his arms as emphasis. "This is situation they didn’t include in the HR handbook!”
"How do you think we feel?" Casey reached for a pen on the coffee table and spun it around his knuckles. Rick wondered if being stabbed would hurt. Casey would make it hurt. "You barged in on us. I think we need time to work out this potentially dangerous situation."
"Dangerous?" Rick swallowed as Casey gripped the pen like a knife. "Please put that down."
"No one is going to hurt you, Rick. We like you and I guess we can trust you enough to not ruin the already messed up thing Casey and I have." Billy snatched the pen from Casey's fingers and flung it behind him. Disappointment momentarily flashed in Casey’s face, replaced by his normal stony expression. It’s like he remembered he didn’t need a pen to cause Rick grievous injuries.
Hooray.
"What I don't get is how you two became you two." Rick brought his pointer fingers together. Billy and Casey looked at one another, locked in a brief and silent debate over answering the question.
“Believe it or not, Martinez I am a ladies’ man,” Casey said. The laugh escaped before Rick could stop himself. He brought his fist to his mouth and coughed while Casey continued. “I’m alluring. It helps that I can satisfy numerous women sexually at the same time.”
Rick’s head exploded.
Billy sighed. “It’s true. You’ve never heard the rumors around DS&T?”
“There are rumors?” Rick said weakly. “I don’t want to hear the rumors.” He regretted everything.
“They don’t walk with me there. There’s no need for you to feel inadequate,” Casey said. Rick smarted slightly. “It’s only natural that my sexual prowess extends to men.”
“Okay. Let me continue before he attempts suicide with a lamp cord,” Billy said. He patted Casey’s thigh. They probably screwed everywhere what with Casey being some sort of sexual god. Even on the couch Rick was sitting on. Hm.
“Please,” Rick sighed. Billy slung his arm around the back of the sofa, his fingers teasing Casey’s hair. It was almost sweet, Rick admitted to himself. He could never see this happening anywhere but in private. He felt horrible. Horrible and scarred.
“While we all are jealous of your weekly sexcapades, I believe I can get to the heart of the matter. Rick, you’re still green. This job has a tendency to crush whatever relationships you have or want. They don’t share that in the promotional flyers or the Bond films.” Billy suddenly looked tired, his eyes distant. “You’ll learn that, Rick. Sometimes you think you can escape it, but it’ll get you in the end.”
“I don’t want that,” Rick admitted. His life changed for the better once he entered Headquarters’ doors, but he wanted to pretend that certain things would stay the same.
“No one does. The options are limited. There are casual flings, celibacy, or you turn to someone in the same situation. You can imagine which one I choose to avoid,” Casey said. “He feels the same.”
“I do.” Billy pointed at him, eyes steady. “We have a good thing going, Rick. We have fun. The sex is fantastic and we know who we are. At work I’m the charming bastard and he’s the dour human weapon. Here we’re Billy and Casey, kings of the boudoir.”
“Martinez, I hope this isn’t going to be a problem,” Casey asked.
No, it wasn’t. More than anything it was so sudden; it was going from zero to escape velocity in a second.
“I’ll be fine. I promise nothing will leave this room,” Rick met their eyes to affirm this point. “I think I’ll go now.”
Billy jumped off the couch. “Ah, yes. Let me show you to the door.” He pressed his palm against Rick’s back and guided him as if to make sure he wouldn’t get lost during the three feet journey. “Thank you for stopping by, see you on Monday.”
He was shoved past the threshold, the door shut and triple bolted. Rick paused then headed for the elevator. This job was full of surprises. He was almost worried about what Monday would bring. Almost.