My Testament
Status of Samantha Elaines bank account a week ago: -378.00
Letters from the bank: If the full amount is not deposited by the 28th of October we will close your account.
Status of Samantha Elaines fingers: crossed wishing and hoping that the bank won't notice that the money won't be there till the 31st when I can deposit my check.
Status of Samantha Elaines Bank Account on Saturday Nov 1: -10.00
Status Of Samantha Elaines Mind: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
So. today I get a check from Stericycle OUT OF THE BLUE and decide, lets call the bank again...see how negative I am and hopefully I can deposit this check tomorrow and STILL HAVE AN ACCOUNT TO PUT IT IN.
Status of Samantha Elaines Bank Account Earlier Tonight: +5.00
So...15 bucks just appeared in my account? Yeah, cause money grows on trees.
Im famous for writing in 'poems' (they aren't fucking poems bitches) and in code and all that shit. So let me be blunt about a topic thats of the upmost importance.
Today starts day number one of sobriety.
That does not just mean bye bye drugs.
That means bye bye all negative habits, which few that read this are 'blessed' to know all about.
Today starts day number one of THE NEW ME.
I'm enrolling in school for my Bachelors of Social Work.
I'm setting up all my payment plans to get out of debt.
I'm apartment planning(HOPEFULLLLLLY) with my beautiful wife.
And Im keeping my head up and focused on the horizon of my new wonderful future.
Ive been so lost and confused lately.
Looking for the shortcut.
And the logical side of my brain has known all along that those types of shortcuts don't exsist.
So.
We had a radical change take place tonight.
The first black president.
I helped put him in office.
So why not continue this radical change in all aspects of my life?
Its been happening, slowly, ever since I left Marcus.
I started wading out into the baby pool, knowing I couldn't swim.
Now Im ready to dive into the deep end.
Knowing all my loved ones are in the water cheering me on.
Ready to help me stay afloat.
And no,
This isn't a blog to say "omg! life is like, so totally amazing! like, all bad feelings are gone!"
And no,
This isn't a blog to say "GUESS WHAT WONDERFUL WORLD OF SAMANTHA ELAINE BLOG READERS?!?!! NO MORE NEGATIVE POEM CODED SHIT BLOGS!!!"
Cause guess what,
I have a life long neurological disability.
And guess what, rainey days make me appreciate the sunshine ALL THAT MUCH MORE.
This is just a blog to say that now,
Instead of walking around saying "why am I even living for?"
I can say
BITCH, THIS IS WHAT IM FUCKING LIVING FOR.
Letters from the bank: If the full amount is not deposited by the 28th of October we will close your account.
Status of Samantha Elaines fingers: crossed wishing and hoping that the bank won't notice that the money won't be there till the 31st when I can deposit my check.
Status of Samantha Elaines Bank Account on Saturday Nov 1: -10.00
Status Of Samantha Elaines Mind: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
So. today I get a check from Stericycle OUT OF THE BLUE and decide, lets call the bank again...see how negative I am and hopefully I can deposit this check tomorrow and STILL HAVE AN ACCOUNT TO PUT IT IN.
Status of Samantha Elaines Bank Account Earlier Tonight: +5.00
So...15 bucks just appeared in my account? Yeah, cause money grows on trees.
Im famous for writing in 'poems' (they aren't fucking poems bitches) and in code and all that shit. So let me be blunt about a topic thats of the upmost importance.
Today starts day number one of sobriety.
That does not just mean bye bye drugs.
That means bye bye all negative habits, which few that read this are 'blessed' to know all about.
Today starts day number one of THE NEW ME.
I'm enrolling in school for my Bachelors of Social Work.
I'm setting up all my payment plans to get out of debt.
I'm apartment planning(HOPEFULLLLLLY) with my beautiful wife.
And Im keeping my head up and focused on the horizon of my new wonderful future.
Ive been so lost and confused lately.
Looking for the shortcut.
And the logical side of my brain has known all along that those types of shortcuts don't exsist.
So.
We had a radical change take place tonight.
The first black president.
I helped put him in office.
So why not continue this radical change in all aspects of my life?
Its been happening, slowly, ever since I left Marcus.
I started wading out into the baby pool, knowing I couldn't swim.
Now Im ready to dive into the deep end.
Knowing all my loved ones are in the water cheering me on.
Ready to help me stay afloat.
And no,
This isn't a blog to say "omg! life is like, so totally amazing! like, all bad feelings are gone!"
And no,
This isn't a blog to say "GUESS WHAT WONDERFUL WORLD OF SAMANTHA ELAINE BLOG READERS?!?!! NO MORE NEGATIVE POEM CODED SHIT BLOGS!!!"
Cause guess what,
I have a life long neurological disability.
And guess what, rainey days make me appreciate the sunshine ALL THAT MUCH MORE.
This is just a blog to say that now,
Instead of walking around saying "why am I even living for?"
I can say
BITCH, THIS IS WHAT IM FUCKING LIVING FOR.