FIC and Fanmix for poetrytoprose :)
Title: this is my winter song to you
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Edward/Bella
Summary: Christmases 2005 through 2008, across the United States - three Edward and Bella spent apart, and one they spent together.
A/N: Written for the lovely poetrytoprose for twilightsanta. Thank you to the always fantastic maerhys for the beta <3
Christmas Eve, 2005 - Phoenix, Arizona
The Christmas tree was lopsided. No matter how many times Phil adjusted the base, the tree wouldn’t stand straight.
Bella smiled as Phil once again shifted the tree to the left. It stood straight for a moment, before inclining to the right. “I think you chose the skewed corner of the room.”
Phil glared, pulling the trunk to the left again. “Laugh all you want, Bella. You’re the one who chose the tree that refuses to stand up straight.”
“How fitting,” Renee quipped wryly from the doorway to the kitchen. She held up the phone. “Bella, it’s your father.”
Bella stood, rubbing her hands on her thighs.
Renee held her hand over the receiver as Bella approached and whispered, “You know, there’s still a few more weeks to change your-“
She snatched the phone away before Renee could finish her sentence and pressed it to her ear. “Hi, Dad.” She waved her nosy mother out of the kitchen.
“Hey, Bells,” her father sounded too excited. “Just wanted to call and say Merry Christmas.”
“Thanks Char- Dad.”
Silence followed - neither of them was very good at keeping up a conversation.
“So,” Charlie drew out the word awkwardly, “You start to pack yet?”
Bella winced. In three weeks, she’d be moving to Forks to live with her father, and while she knew Renee would be happier traveling with Phil than home by herself, she couldn’t imagine anywhere more dreary or miserable than the small town of Forks, Washington.
“A little.” Sticking to short answers was safest - she wouldn’t give away just how little she was looking forward to starting her new life in one of the wettest places in the continental United States.
“I just hope we have decent weather when you fly in.” She could practically hear Charlie grinning. “You should see all of the snow we’ve gotten, Bells.”
“Yeah,” she murmured, glancing out the kitchen window longingly. “Sounds great.”
Outside, the Phoenix sun was shining, bright, hot, and dry.
Christmas Eve, 2005 - Forks, Washington
Edward lay back on his couch, the soft sounds of Chopin weaving through his bedroom. He closed his eyes, allowing his mind to go blank.
Well, as blank as possible with Emmett and Alice singing Jingle Bells over and over in the background. Off key. How they managed to synchronize their thoughts so well was beyond him, but if he heard one more verse of the infernal song, he was going to break the Christmas tree over their heads, a gesture he was sure Esme would not appreciate.
The sound of his door slamming open was followed by the raucous pounding of footsteps. Edward sat up, intending on throwing his sister out of his room, Santa hat and all, when something rather cold and wet was shoved over his head and down the back of his shirt.
“Alice!” He jumped off of the couch, shaking his shirt out, while Alice cackled.
Edward glared and she rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, Edward. You know Emmett and I were terrorizing you on purpose. Come play in the snow with us!” She grasped his hand and tried to drag him towards the door. “We’re having a snowball fight and Jasper and Rosalie are winning.”
Edward tried to pull his hand back, but Alice’s grip on him was firm. “Wouldn’t I make the teams uneven?”
“So?” She pulled, but he didn’t budge. “Ugh,” she stamped her foot and he arched an eyebrow. “Edward, its Christmas Eve! And Christmas is about family. So, why don’t you take off your grumpy pants, and stop moping up here all by yourself.”
“I’m not moping, Alice. I happen to like being alone.”
“You’re not going to come down.” The words were a statement.
Edward turned his back to her and flipped through the CDs above his stereo, pretending her dejected tone didn’t bother him. “Nope.”
Alice pouted. “You’re such a Grinch, Edward Cullen.” She turned on her heel and flounced from the room.
Perhaps he was, he thought sitting on the couch and brushing the remaining snow from his hair.
“They’re just worried, you know,” Esme’s voice was quiet, her thoughts soothing from the doorway.
“They don’t have to be,” he smiled. “You don’t have to worry either, Esme. I’m perfectly fine on my own.” The words held a double meaning. He knew Esme wondered constantly why he was the only one in their family who didn’t have a mate.
“I know,” Esme sat down next to him and squeezed his wrist lightly. “I worry about you anyway, more than the others.”
The sound of his siblings’ laughter filtered into the room, and Esme stood to grab his coat and his boots. She handed them to him wordlessly, and Alice’s sudden gleeful cry of “Yes!” made them both chuckle quietly.
With a sigh and a rueful smile, Edward shook his head and stood to join his family out in the snow.
Christmas Eve, 2006 - Forks, Washington
Bella stared down at her cereal, stirring her spoon in slow circles around the bowl. She watched one of the fruit loops sink to the bottom then back to the top again in milk that had long ago turned pink.
“Your fruit loops are getting soggy.” Charlie’s voice made her jump, but she calmed as he sat down. Her answer was a simple shrug. She went to the sink to empty the bowl - it wasn’t like she was planning on eating anyway.
“I know I promised I would be home tonight, but something came up at work, and I have to go down to the station for a few hours. You going to be all right?”
This was a popular question with Charlie these days - was she all right? The true and obvious answer was no, she most definitely was not all right. She’d missed the bus on all right a long time ago.
Still, she nodded, pretending the entire world couldn’t see right through her. “I’ll be fine, Dad.” Lies - she would never be fine again. “Go to work.”
Charlie threw looks at her over his shoulder the entire length of the walk from the kitchen to the front door. She even managed a wave through the living room window, but she breathed a sigh of relief when the cruiser finally pulled out of the drive. An empty house meant she didn’t have to pretend anymore.
Bella sank down onto the couch and stared out the window. The weather outside was frightful, appropriately - there was no snow on the ground, but a large amount of rain had fallen throughout the afternoon, and was still falling. The weathermen predicted snow as the night progressed, but Bella was hoping they were wrong. Rain suited her mood just fine, even if the weather did remind her of a certain person she was trying so hard to forget, especially today.
This would have been our first Christmas together, Edward, she thought, the hole in her chest ripping open. Why did you have to leave? She could feel the tears prickling at the corners of her eyes and she squeezed them shut as she wrapped her arms around her middle. She would not break down, not today.
In an effort to hold herself together, Bella retrieved Charlie’s gift, hidden under her bed, and placed it under the tree. She tried not to think about Edward’s gift, stashed in her closet under a pile of clothes she would never wear again. The Christmas tree lights blinked slowly in the otherwise dark room, and she stared at the presents she presumed were hers. She knew what she wanted for Christmas, and she wasn’t going to find him wrapped up in a red box tied with a neat green bow.
She wasn’t hoping for a Christmas miracle. She wasn’t hoping for Prince Charming to come swooping through her window, kiss her, and make everything all right again. She wasn’t hoping for her happy ending. She was just… hoping.
Bella had to hold onto hope - it was all she had left.
Christmas Eve, 2006 - Dallas, Texas
Edward lost Victoria’s trail hours ago. She was good at evading him, never in the same place from one moment to the next. He was somewhere outside of Dallas, and was attempting to retrace his steps when his phone rang.
He didn’t have to check the caller ID. Any other day, he would have ignored his phone, or sent the call to voicemail, but today, he pressed the phone to his ear.
“Well, what do you know,” Alice’s voice was thick with sarcasm. “You’ve decided to give me the time of day. I thought mine brain hath deceived me.”
Edward couldn’t help but smile just slightly. “Merry Christmas to you too, Alice.”
“You sound awful, by the way.” Almost all of the laughter had left her voice.
“Oh, thank you. I know I can always depend on you for a compliment.”
“I’m not trying to stroke your ego, Edward Cullen. I’m trying to talk some sense into you. Come home.”
Edward shut his eyes and ran a hand over his face. “Alice-“
“Esme misses you.”
He clenched his jaw. The thought that he was hurting Esme, of all people, made him want to run home in an instant, but it wasn’t possible. He was in no state to face anyone, least of all his family.
“I miss her too, Alice,” he sighed, “But I can’t come home. Not yet.” Not with Bella’s face still flashing behind his eyes every waking moment of every single day.
She sighed. “I know. I don’t know why I bother trying anymore, either.” He could tell she was frustrated.
“Alice-“
“I’ll tell everyone you say hello. Merry Christmas, Edward.”
Alice hung up before he could say another word and Edward flipped his phone shut with a sigh, then walked down the street, hands shoved in his pockets. He kept his eyes straight ahead, ignoring the thoughts of those around him, hoping to pick up Victoria’s trail again.
The store was small and inconspicuous on the side of the road where the pendant in the window caught his eye. This would be both heartbreaking and ridiculous, buying a Christmas gift for someone he would never see again, but one look at the necklace and he strode into the store.
“Hello, how may I he-elp you?” Yes, how may I help you? Wow.
Ignoring the girl’s thoughts, Edward asked, “Are the necklaces in the window for sale?”
If you have a small fortune, sure. “Which one are you referring to?” She asked, following him over to the storefront window. When he pointed, the girl’s eyes widened slightly. “That one is for sale, but - I’m not quite sure you can - “
“I’ll take it.”
The girl leaned into the window with somewhat shaky hands to retrieve the necklace, and Edward caught her name tag out of the corner of his eye - Melinda.
Melinda led him over to one of the cash registers and Edward tried to ignore her thoughts about who such an expensive gift could be for. Unfortunately, she chose to voice them.
“May I ask who you’re buying this piece for? Girlfriend? Mother?” It can’t be for his wife. He looks younger than I am!
“Just… someone special,” Edward said, handing over his credit card and quickly signing the receipt. Some time while he was inside, it began to rain. His heart ached unbearably for Forks - and for a certain dark-haired girl in Forks that he should not miss at all.
He’s so handsome and mysterious, she thought dreamily, taking the receipt from him slowly. “Well, whoever she is, she’s one lucky girl,” the cashier - Melinda, Edward reminded himself - said, handing him the small paper bag with his purchase and his copy of the receipt.
“I’m not so sure about that,” he answered quietly.
Melinda’s brow furrowed. “I’m sorry?”
Edward said nothing, merely tucked the necklace into his pocket and walked out into the rain with his head bowed.
Christmas, 2007 - Jacksonville, Florida
The Christmas tree was lopsided. Apparently, this had become something for a running joke - if the tree was straight, Phil would make a show of pushing or pulling the trunk one way or the other.
Charlie and Phil were talking baseball over chilled beer. Renee had, shockingly, prepared a dinner might actually be edible this year. Everything was perfect.
Or, it would have been if Edward had been there with her.
Though the weathermen predicted rain, Alice, for once the little pessimist, cautioned that there would be sun. Two entire week’s worth, through Christmas and New Years.
Bella understood why Edward had to spend the time apart from her. After all, how would she explain why Edward could only go outside at night? Even when she tried to plan things around their predicament, Edward hadn’t wanted to be an inconvenience.
The two of them concocted a story about a sick family member, while the Cullens would really be spending the holidays in Alaska with the Denali clan.
Bella missed Edward so much she ached, but tried to be strong, for his sake.
“I wish I could be there with you,” the sound of his voice, so beautifully familiar, made her want to jump on the first flight to Alaska. She planted her feet more firmly on the floor.
“We’ll have a dozen other Christmases together,” she told him, gripping the phone so tightly her wedding band dug into her skin. When he called, she’d run to the phone so fast, she almost broke her ankle. “A thousand even.”
Edward chuckled quietly. “Oh, Bella. I miss you.”
She sighed, giving up the charade. “I miss you, too.”
Christmas, 2007 - Denali, Alaska
Edward sat on the front porch, staring out at a landscape glistening with falling flakes and snow banks. Somewhere in the distance, he heard Emmett laughing. He was no doubt having his annual Christmas snowball fight with Alice.
The sound of crunching was followed by footsteps on the stairs before Alice flopped gracefully beside him and propped her chin on her hand. She tipped her head to the side, taking in his expression. “Why so glum, brother-mine?”
“He’s pouty because Bella is across the country drinking eggnog and singing carols,” Emmett said, wiping his gloves together. Edward leaned backwards almost instinctively, not in the mood to have snow thrown down his shirt.
“I think you’re mistaking Bella for Renee,” Edward murmured.
Alice gasped theatrically. “He speaks!” He glared. “Really, Edward, you brought this on yourself. Don’t get your panties in a bunch,” she shouted as he stood and walked into the house.
In some ways, Edward knew she was right. He’d been insistent that Bella be able to have as many human experiences as possible after their wedding that previous summer, including college and one more holiday season with her parents. While she’d disagreed profusely, he’d eventually gotten his way, promising he’d change her just after she finished her freshman year.
Of course, this meant that with Alice’s prediction of a sunny heat wave, he couldn’t go anywhere near Jacksonville, no matter what compromises or excuses Bella was willing to make for him.
Thinking about Bella made him glance at the clock. She should be helping her mother with dinner - although even he knew the thought of Renee cooking anything close to food was laughable. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and quickly dialed her mother’s house number.
Bella picked up after the first ring. “Hello?” Her voice, even slightly out of breath, was music to his ears.
“Merry Christmas, love.”
Christmas, 2008 - Forks, Washington
The house looked just like it always had - tall, white and unchanging. Bella smiled to herself, only now realizing how fitting a metaphor the family home had been.
They knew coming back to Forks was dangerous. She’d spent the better part of the past three months in Denali, trying to hone her instincts and avoiding Charlie’s phone calls. Though her facial features hadn’t changed much, her paler skin and crimson eyes would come into question to anyone who might recognize her, and her self-control was nowhere near perfect. Edward always sent her hunting with at least two chaperones as she’d had several close calls, and one near miss - and that was just in the past week.
But this was their first Christmas together, and neither of them could think of anywhere else they wanted to spend it than Forks.
Bella stood in the living room of the Cullen’s old house, staring out the windows at the snow falling on the lawn. They left the lights off, and the darkness would have blinded her once upon a time, but tonight, she could see every detail.
Edward wrapped his arms around her waist and placed his chin on her shoulder. “This was a good idea,” he said, his voice rumbling through her from her head to her toes. The one thing that hadn’t changed when she became a vampire was her feelings for him. She still desired him now as much as she had when she was a human.
“I like to think I have them on occasion,” she said, and he laughed softly, kissing her neck. She closed her eyes and let him hold her.
They stood in companionable silence before Edward gestured towards his piano, where a small messenger bag was sitting dead-center. “You still haven’t told me what’s in the bag.”
“Your Christmas gift,” she answered cryptically. Edward groaned.
She laughed, turning in his arms so she could wrap her arms around his neck. “I thought you liked surprises.”
He smirked, leaning down to kiss her, and she couldn’t help but sigh as his lips touched hers. Bella's senses of smell and sight weren’t the only ones heightened when she became a vampire - when Edward touched her, she felt every slight movement of his skin against hers. Sometimes, like now, she was able to relax and enjoy the sensations. Other times, she nearly exploded from the overload.
“Only when I’m surprising you,” he finally said, kissing a trail down her neck.
---
Edward pulled out of her embrace slowly - both so he could get a better look at her face, and so he could collect himself. Bella had a way of making his thoughts scatter when she simply looked at him the right way.
If he were honest with himself, he'd admit trying to distract her so she wouldn’t ask about her gift. He didn't relish revealing the story behind the necklace currently burning a hole in his pocket.
Bella was still smiling, so Edward took advantage of her good mood and led her over to the piano bench. When she was seated, he pulled the small box from his pocket. Her smile fell instantly and she groaned. Despite his nervousness, he grinned.
“Edward, you promised me you wouldn’t spend a fortune on my gift this year.”
“Technically, I didn’t spend a fortune on you this year.” Bella stared at him blankly.
He took a deep breath and knelt down in front of her. “I bought this for you in Texas two years ago when I was…away from you.” His voice was husky, quiet as he held up the small box. Bella’s eyes had widened, not at the gift, but at his words. Not being able to read her mind had both its perks and its disadvantages. He couldn’t figure out if she was simply shocked, or if he’d perhaps offended her somehow.
Bella’s fingers shook as she took the gift from his hands and tore the paper. He could tell she was trying to control herself as she opened the box. Inside laid a diamond angel pendant on a fine gold chain over a velvet inlay.
She stared at the necklace wordlessly for what felt like an eternity, until he could no longer take the silence any longer. “Bella… I can’t read your mind… please, tell me what you’re thinking.”
Instead of saying a word, Bella reached behind her and gingerly pulled his gift from her bag. She handed it to him with both hands. “I bought this for you in Port Angeles after you left,” she said quietly. “It was in the window of that used book store. I didn’t think I would ever see you again, but I couldn’t help myself.”
Even if they lived for a thousand years, Edward would take these moments for granted - the times when he was reminded why they’d fallen in love, despite all of their troubles and differences. He ripped the paper slowly and found a leather-bound composition book that must have been at least as old as he was.
“I thought you could write your music in there… not that you need to write it down, but…” her voice trailed off.
Edward raised his head. “It’s perfect.” He smiled. “You’re perfect.”
Had she still been human, she would have been blushing - it was one of the few things he missed. Instead, she ducked her head and reached for her gift with trembling fingers. He sat beside her and clasped the necklace around her neck before she had a chance to.
Bella stared down at the pendant. “I guess great minds think alike.”
Edward chuckled and grasped her chin, leaning forward to kiss her gently.
“I love you,” he murmured. “Merry Christmas.”
--
Dear poetrytoprose,
The second part of your gift requires a little bit of explaining. I was planning on writing you a ficmix, but somewhere down the line, that idea fell apart. So instead, I made you a fanmix (which could also be viewed as an accompanying soundtrack to the fic :)).
Merry Christmas :D
01. Candlelight - Laura Marling [download]
but maybe i'm just crazy and grew up too fast
02. Let Go - Boys Like Girls [download]
excuse me, too busy writing your tragedy
03. It's My Mistake - Michelle Featherstone [download]
i swear to christ my life, just give me strength so i can fight this
04. Closer - Kings of Leon [download]
with the moon i run far from the carnage of the fiery sun
05. Untouchable - Taylor Swift [download]
now that you're close i feel like coming undone
06. Ships - Umbrellas [download]
i love the sound of my feet against these empty streets
07. The Planets Bend Between Us - Snow Patrol [download]
it's all for you
Download .zip
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Edward/Bella
Summary: Christmases 2005 through 2008, across the United States - three Edward and Bella spent apart, and one they spent together.
A/N: Written for the lovely poetrytoprose for twilightsanta. Thank you to the always fantastic maerhys for the beta <3
Christmas Eve, 2005 - Phoenix, Arizona
The Christmas tree was lopsided. No matter how many times Phil adjusted the base, the tree wouldn’t stand straight.
Bella smiled as Phil once again shifted the tree to the left. It stood straight for a moment, before inclining to the right. “I think you chose the skewed corner of the room.”
Phil glared, pulling the trunk to the left again. “Laugh all you want, Bella. You’re the one who chose the tree that refuses to stand up straight.”
“How fitting,” Renee quipped wryly from the doorway to the kitchen. She held up the phone. “Bella, it’s your father.”
Bella stood, rubbing her hands on her thighs.
Renee held her hand over the receiver as Bella approached and whispered, “You know, there’s still a few more weeks to change your-“
She snatched the phone away before Renee could finish her sentence and pressed it to her ear. “Hi, Dad.” She waved her nosy mother out of the kitchen.
“Hey, Bells,” her father sounded too excited. “Just wanted to call and say Merry Christmas.”
“Thanks Char- Dad.”
Silence followed - neither of them was very good at keeping up a conversation.
“So,” Charlie drew out the word awkwardly, “You start to pack yet?”
Bella winced. In three weeks, she’d be moving to Forks to live with her father, and while she knew Renee would be happier traveling with Phil than home by herself, she couldn’t imagine anywhere more dreary or miserable than the small town of Forks, Washington.
“A little.” Sticking to short answers was safest - she wouldn’t give away just how little she was looking forward to starting her new life in one of the wettest places in the continental United States.
“I just hope we have decent weather when you fly in.” She could practically hear Charlie grinning. “You should see all of the snow we’ve gotten, Bells.”
“Yeah,” she murmured, glancing out the kitchen window longingly. “Sounds great.”
Outside, the Phoenix sun was shining, bright, hot, and dry.
Christmas Eve, 2005 - Forks, Washington
Edward lay back on his couch, the soft sounds of Chopin weaving through his bedroom. He closed his eyes, allowing his mind to go blank.
Well, as blank as possible with Emmett and Alice singing Jingle Bells over and over in the background. Off key. How they managed to synchronize their thoughts so well was beyond him, but if he heard one more verse of the infernal song, he was going to break the Christmas tree over their heads, a gesture he was sure Esme would not appreciate.
The sound of his door slamming open was followed by the raucous pounding of footsteps. Edward sat up, intending on throwing his sister out of his room, Santa hat and all, when something rather cold and wet was shoved over his head and down the back of his shirt.
“Alice!” He jumped off of the couch, shaking his shirt out, while Alice cackled.
Edward glared and she rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, Edward. You know Emmett and I were terrorizing you on purpose. Come play in the snow with us!” She grasped his hand and tried to drag him towards the door. “We’re having a snowball fight and Jasper and Rosalie are winning.”
Edward tried to pull his hand back, but Alice’s grip on him was firm. “Wouldn’t I make the teams uneven?”
“So?” She pulled, but he didn’t budge. “Ugh,” she stamped her foot and he arched an eyebrow. “Edward, its Christmas Eve! And Christmas is about family. So, why don’t you take off your grumpy pants, and stop moping up here all by yourself.”
“I’m not moping, Alice. I happen to like being alone.”
“You’re not going to come down.” The words were a statement.
Edward turned his back to her and flipped through the CDs above his stereo, pretending her dejected tone didn’t bother him. “Nope.”
Alice pouted. “You’re such a Grinch, Edward Cullen.” She turned on her heel and flounced from the room.
Perhaps he was, he thought sitting on the couch and brushing the remaining snow from his hair.
“They’re just worried, you know,” Esme’s voice was quiet, her thoughts soothing from the doorway.
“They don’t have to be,” he smiled. “You don’t have to worry either, Esme. I’m perfectly fine on my own.” The words held a double meaning. He knew Esme wondered constantly why he was the only one in their family who didn’t have a mate.
“I know,” Esme sat down next to him and squeezed his wrist lightly. “I worry about you anyway, more than the others.”
The sound of his siblings’ laughter filtered into the room, and Esme stood to grab his coat and his boots. She handed them to him wordlessly, and Alice’s sudden gleeful cry of “Yes!” made them both chuckle quietly.
With a sigh and a rueful smile, Edward shook his head and stood to join his family out in the snow.
Christmas Eve, 2006 - Forks, Washington
Bella stared down at her cereal, stirring her spoon in slow circles around the bowl. She watched one of the fruit loops sink to the bottom then back to the top again in milk that had long ago turned pink.
“Your fruit loops are getting soggy.” Charlie’s voice made her jump, but she calmed as he sat down. Her answer was a simple shrug. She went to the sink to empty the bowl - it wasn’t like she was planning on eating anyway.
“I know I promised I would be home tonight, but something came up at work, and I have to go down to the station for a few hours. You going to be all right?”
This was a popular question with Charlie these days - was she all right? The true and obvious answer was no, she most definitely was not all right. She’d missed the bus on all right a long time ago.
Still, she nodded, pretending the entire world couldn’t see right through her. “I’ll be fine, Dad.” Lies - she would never be fine again. “Go to work.”
Charlie threw looks at her over his shoulder the entire length of the walk from the kitchen to the front door. She even managed a wave through the living room window, but she breathed a sigh of relief when the cruiser finally pulled out of the drive. An empty house meant she didn’t have to pretend anymore.
Bella sank down onto the couch and stared out the window. The weather outside was frightful, appropriately - there was no snow on the ground, but a large amount of rain had fallen throughout the afternoon, and was still falling. The weathermen predicted snow as the night progressed, but Bella was hoping they were wrong. Rain suited her mood just fine, even if the weather did remind her of a certain person she was trying so hard to forget, especially today.
This would have been our first Christmas together, Edward, she thought, the hole in her chest ripping open. Why did you have to leave? She could feel the tears prickling at the corners of her eyes and she squeezed them shut as she wrapped her arms around her middle. She would not break down, not today.
In an effort to hold herself together, Bella retrieved Charlie’s gift, hidden under her bed, and placed it under the tree. She tried not to think about Edward’s gift, stashed in her closet under a pile of clothes she would never wear again. The Christmas tree lights blinked slowly in the otherwise dark room, and she stared at the presents she presumed were hers. She knew what she wanted for Christmas, and she wasn’t going to find him wrapped up in a red box tied with a neat green bow.
She wasn’t hoping for a Christmas miracle. She wasn’t hoping for Prince Charming to come swooping through her window, kiss her, and make everything all right again. She wasn’t hoping for her happy ending. She was just… hoping.
Bella had to hold onto hope - it was all she had left.
Christmas Eve, 2006 - Dallas, Texas
Edward lost Victoria’s trail hours ago. She was good at evading him, never in the same place from one moment to the next. He was somewhere outside of Dallas, and was attempting to retrace his steps when his phone rang.
He didn’t have to check the caller ID. Any other day, he would have ignored his phone, or sent the call to voicemail, but today, he pressed the phone to his ear.
“Well, what do you know,” Alice’s voice was thick with sarcasm. “You’ve decided to give me the time of day. I thought mine brain hath deceived me.”
Edward couldn’t help but smile just slightly. “Merry Christmas to you too, Alice.”
“You sound awful, by the way.” Almost all of the laughter had left her voice.
“Oh, thank you. I know I can always depend on you for a compliment.”
“I’m not trying to stroke your ego, Edward Cullen. I’m trying to talk some sense into you. Come home.”
Edward shut his eyes and ran a hand over his face. “Alice-“
“Esme misses you.”
He clenched his jaw. The thought that he was hurting Esme, of all people, made him want to run home in an instant, but it wasn’t possible. He was in no state to face anyone, least of all his family.
“I miss her too, Alice,” he sighed, “But I can’t come home. Not yet.” Not with Bella’s face still flashing behind his eyes every waking moment of every single day.
She sighed. “I know. I don’t know why I bother trying anymore, either.” He could tell she was frustrated.
“Alice-“
“I’ll tell everyone you say hello. Merry Christmas, Edward.”
Alice hung up before he could say another word and Edward flipped his phone shut with a sigh, then walked down the street, hands shoved in his pockets. He kept his eyes straight ahead, ignoring the thoughts of those around him, hoping to pick up Victoria’s trail again.
The store was small and inconspicuous on the side of the road where the pendant in the window caught his eye. This would be both heartbreaking and ridiculous, buying a Christmas gift for someone he would never see again, but one look at the necklace and he strode into the store.
“Hello, how may I he-elp you?” Yes, how may I help you? Wow.
Ignoring the girl’s thoughts, Edward asked, “Are the necklaces in the window for sale?”
If you have a small fortune, sure. “Which one are you referring to?” She asked, following him over to the storefront window. When he pointed, the girl’s eyes widened slightly. “That one is for sale, but - I’m not quite sure you can - “
“I’ll take it.”
The girl leaned into the window with somewhat shaky hands to retrieve the necklace, and Edward caught her name tag out of the corner of his eye - Melinda.
Melinda led him over to one of the cash registers and Edward tried to ignore her thoughts about who such an expensive gift could be for. Unfortunately, she chose to voice them.
“May I ask who you’re buying this piece for? Girlfriend? Mother?” It can’t be for his wife. He looks younger than I am!
“Just… someone special,” Edward said, handing over his credit card and quickly signing the receipt. Some time while he was inside, it began to rain. His heart ached unbearably for Forks - and for a certain dark-haired girl in Forks that he should not miss at all.
He’s so handsome and mysterious, she thought dreamily, taking the receipt from him slowly. “Well, whoever she is, she’s one lucky girl,” the cashier - Melinda, Edward reminded himself - said, handing him the small paper bag with his purchase and his copy of the receipt.
“I’m not so sure about that,” he answered quietly.
Melinda’s brow furrowed. “I’m sorry?”
Edward said nothing, merely tucked the necklace into his pocket and walked out into the rain with his head bowed.
Christmas, 2007 - Jacksonville, Florida
The Christmas tree was lopsided. Apparently, this had become something for a running joke - if the tree was straight, Phil would make a show of pushing or pulling the trunk one way or the other.
Charlie and Phil were talking baseball over chilled beer. Renee had, shockingly, prepared a dinner might actually be edible this year. Everything was perfect.
Or, it would have been if Edward had been there with her.
Though the weathermen predicted rain, Alice, for once the little pessimist, cautioned that there would be sun. Two entire week’s worth, through Christmas and New Years.
Bella understood why Edward had to spend the time apart from her. After all, how would she explain why Edward could only go outside at night? Even when she tried to plan things around their predicament, Edward hadn’t wanted to be an inconvenience.
The two of them concocted a story about a sick family member, while the Cullens would really be spending the holidays in Alaska with the Denali clan.
Bella missed Edward so much she ached, but tried to be strong, for his sake.
“I wish I could be there with you,” the sound of his voice, so beautifully familiar, made her want to jump on the first flight to Alaska. She planted her feet more firmly on the floor.
“We’ll have a dozen other Christmases together,” she told him, gripping the phone so tightly her wedding band dug into her skin. When he called, she’d run to the phone so fast, she almost broke her ankle. “A thousand even.”
Edward chuckled quietly. “Oh, Bella. I miss you.”
She sighed, giving up the charade. “I miss you, too.”
Christmas, 2007 - Denali, Alaska
Edward sat on the front porch, staring out at a landscape glistening with falling flakes and snow banks. Somewhere in the distance, he heard Emmett laughing. He was no doubt having his annual Christmas snowball fight with Alice.
The sound of crunching was followed by footsteps on the stairs before Alice flopped gracefully beside him and propped her chin on her hand. She tipped her head to the side, taking in his expression. “Why so glum, brother-mine?”
“He’s pouty because Bella is across the country drinking eggnog and singing carols,” Emmett said, wiping his gloves together. Edward leaned backwards almost instinctively, not in the mood to have snow thrown down his shirt.
“I think you’re mistaking Bella for Renee,” Edward murmured.
Alice gasped theatrically. “He speaks!” He glared. “Really, Edward, you brought this on yourself. Don’t get your panties in a bunch,” she shouted as he stood and walked into the house.
In some ways, Edward knew she was right. He’d been insistent that Bella be able to have as many human experiences as possible after their wedding that previous summer, including college and one more holiday season with her parents. While she’d disagreed profusely, he’d eventually gotten his way, promising he’d change her just after she finished her freshman year.
Of course, this meant that with Alice’s prediction of a sunny heat wave, he couldn’t go anywhere near Jacksonville, no matter what compromises or excuses Bella was willing to make for him.
Thinking about Bella made him glance at the clock. She should be helping her mother with dinner - although even he knew the thought of Renee cooking anything close to food was laughable. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and quickly dialed her mother’s house number.
Bella picked up after the first ring. “Hello?” Her voice, even slightly out of breath, was music to his ears.
“Merry Christmas, love.”
Christmas, 2008 - Forks, Washington
The house looked just like it always had - tall, white and unchanging. Bella smiled to herself, only now realizing how fitting a metaphor the family home had been.
They knew coming back to Forks was dangerous. She’d spent the better part of the past three months in Denali, trying to hone her instincts and avoiding Charlie’s phone calls. Though her facial features hadn’t changed much, her paler skin and crimson eyes would come into question to anyone who might recognize her, and her self-control was nowhere near perfect. Edward always sent her hunting with at least two chaperones as she’d had several close calls, and one near miss - and that was just in the past week.
But this was their first Christmas together, and neither of them could think of anywhere else they wanted to spend it than Forks.
Bella stood in the living room of the Cullen’s old house, staring out the windows at the snow falling on the lawn. They left the lights off, and the darkness would have blinded her once upon a time, but tonight, she could see every detail.
Edward wrapped his arms around her waist and placed his chin on her shoulder. “This was a good idea,” he said, his voice rumbling through her from her head to her toes. The one thing that hadn’t changed when she became a vampire was her feelings for him. She still desired him now as much as she had when she was a human.
“I like to think I have them on occasion,” she said, and he laughed softly, kissing her neck. She closed her eyes and let him hold her.
They stood in companionable silence before Edward gestured towards his piano, where a small messenger bag was sitting dead-center. “You still haven’t told me what’s in the bag.”
“Your Christmas gift,” she answered cryptically. Edward groaned.
She laughed, turning in his arms so she could wrap her arms around his neck. “I thought you liked surprises.”
He smirked, leaning down to kiss her, and she couldn’t help but sigh as his lips touched hers. Bella's senses of smell and sight weren’t the only ones heightened when she became a vampire - when Edward touched her, she felt every slight movement of his skin against hers. Sometimes, like now, she was able to relax and enjoy the sensations. Other times, she nearly exploded from the overload.
“Only when I’m surprising you,” he finally said, kissing a trail down her neck.
---
Edward pulled out of her embrace slowly - both so he could get a better look at her face, and so he could collect himself. Bella had a way of making his thoughts scatter when she simply looked at him the right way.
If he were honest with himself, he'd admit trying to distract her so she wouldn’t ask about her gift. He didn't relish revealing the story behind the necklace currently burning a hole in his pocket.
Bella was still smiling, so Edward took advantage of her good mood and led her over to the piano bench. When she was seated, he pulled the small box from his pocket. Her smile fell instantly and she groaned. Despite his nervousness, he grinned.
“Edward, you promised me you wouldn’t spend a fortune on my gift this year.”
“Technically, I didn’t spend a fortune on you this year.” Bella stared at him blankly.
He took a deep breath and knelt down in front of her. “I bought this for you in Texas two years ago when I was…away from you.” His voice was husky, quiet as he held up the small box. Bella’s eyes had widened, not at the gift, but at his words. Not being able to read her mind had both its perks and its disadvantages. He couldn’t figure out if she was simply shocked, or if he’d perhaps offended her somehow.
Bella’s fingers shook as she took the gift from his hands and tore the paper. He could tell she was trying to control herself as she opened the box. Inside laid a diamond angel pendant on a fine gold chain over a velvet inlay.
She stared at the necklace wordlessly for what felt like an eternity, until he could no longer take the silence any longer. “Bella… I can’t read your mind… please, tell me what you’re thinking.”
Instead of saying a word, Bella reached behind her and gingerly pulled his gift from her bag. She handed it to him with both hands. “I bought this for you in Port Angeles after you left,” she said quietly. “It was in the window of that used book store. I didn’t think I would ever see you again, but I couldn’t help myself.”
Even if they lived for a thousand years, Edward would take these moments for granted - the times when he was reminded why they’d fallen in love, despite all of their troubles and differences. He ripped the paper slowly and found a leather-bound composition book that must have been at least as old as he was.
“I thought you could write your music in there… not that you need to write it down, but…” her voice trailed off.
Edward raised his head. “It’s perfect.” He smiled. “You’re perfect.”
Had she still been human, she would have been blushing - it was one of the few things he missed. Instead, she ducked her head and reached for her gift with trembling fingers. He sat beside her and clasped the necklace around her neck before she had a chance to.
Bella stared down at the pendant. “I guess great minds think alike.”
Edward chuckled and grasped her chin, leaning forward to kiss her gently.
“I love you,” he murmured. “Merry Christmas.”
--
Dear poetrytoprose,
The second part of your gift requires a little bit of explaining. I was planning on writing you a ficmix, but somewhere down the line, that idea fell apart. So instead, I made you a fanmix (which could also be viewed as an accompanying soundtrack to the fic :)).
Merry Christmas :D
01. Candlelight - Laura Marling [download]
but maybe i'm just crazy and grew up too fast
02. Let Go - Boys Like Girls [download]
excuse me, too busy writing your tragedy
03. It's My Mistake - Michelle Featherstone [download]
i swear to christ my life, just give me strength so i can fight this
04. Closer - Kings of Leon [download]
with the moon i run far from the carnage of the fiery sun
05. Untouchable - Taylor Swift [download]
now that you're close i feel like coming undone
06. Ships - Umbrellas [download]
i love the sound of my feet against these empty streets
07. The Planets Bend Between Us - Snow Patrol [download]
it's all for you
Download .zip