Love Song Requiem - A Twilight Series Fanmix (Part 2)
About this mix: This is part two of my Twilight series fanmix. It's been a while since I posted part one (*cough* 7 months *cough*) but for anyone who is interested, it can be found HERE.
LOVE SONG REQUIEM - A TWILIGHT SERIES FANMIX IN FOUR PARTS
PART TWO - NEVER ALONE: EDWARD/BELLA, JACOB/BELLA
[full mix download - .zip]
1. Running Away by Midnight Hour [lyrics] [download]
And I, I'll never let you find me
I'm leaving you behind with the past
No, I won't look back
And I don't want to hear your reasons
Don't want to hear you tell me why I should stay
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.
There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.
"You… don't… want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.
"No...It will be as if I'd never existed."
2. Circles by Natalie Walker [lyrics] [download]
This chapter is over
He’s not coming home
Her heart in her throat
She falls to the floor
I pressed down on the top of the CD player. The latch unhooked, and the lid slowly swung open.
It was empty.
The album Renee had given me sat on the floor beside the bed, just where I'd put it last. I lifted the cover with a shaking hand.
I didn't have to flip any farther than the first page. The little metal corners no longer held a picture in place. The page was blank except for my own handwriting scrawled across the bottom: Edward Cullen, Charlie's kitchen, Sept. 13th.
I stopped there. I was sure that he would have been very thorough.
It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me.
I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.
I did not resurface.
3. Never Alone by Barlow Girl [lyrics] [download]
And though I can not see you
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, reassurance
You've placed in my life
We cannot separate
'Cause you're part of me
And though you're invisible
I'll trust the unseen
"Bella, stop this right now!"
My muscles locked into place, froze me where I stood. Because it wasn't Jessica's voice that rebuked me now. It was a furious voice, a familiar voice, a beautiful voice-soft like velvet even though it was irate.
It was his voice-I was exceptionally careful not to think his name-and I was surprised that the sound of it did not knock me to my knees, did not curl me onto the pavement in a torture of loss. But there was no pain, none at all.
In the instant that I heard his voice, everything was very clear. Like my head had suddenly surfaced out of some dark pool. I was more aware of everything-sight, sound, the feel of the cold air that I hadn't noticed was blowing sharply against my face, the smells coming from the open bar door.
I looked around myself in shock.
"Go back to Jessica," the lovely voice ordered, still angry. "You promised-nothing stupid."
I was alone. Jessica stood a few feet from me, staring at me with frightened eyes. Against the wall, the strangers watched, confused, wondering what I was doing, standing there motionless in the middle of the street.
4. Sober by Kelly Clarkson [lyrics] [download]
And I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time
Three months and it's still harder now
Three months I've been living here without you now
Three months yeah, three months
It clicked together for me then. I wanted to be stupid and reckless, and I wanted to break promises. Why stop at one?
...
"Jacob, what do you know about motorcycles?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Some. My friend Embry has a dirt bike. We work on it together sometimes. Why?"
"Well…" I pursed my lips as I considered. I wasn't sure if he could keep his mouth shut, but I didn't have many other options. "I recently acquired a couple of bikes, and they're not in the greatest condition. I wonder if you could get them running?"
"Cool." He seemed truly pleased by the challenge. His face glowed. "I'll give it a try."
5. Breathe In, Breathe Out by Matt Kearney [lyrics] [download]
Breathe in, breathe out
Tell me all of your doubts
Everybody bleeds this way, just the same
Breathe in, breathe out
Move on and break down
If everyone goes away, I will stay
"Why do you do that?" he asked. He tugged lightly at one of my arms, which was bound around my chest, and then gave up when it wouldn't come loose easily. I hadn't even realized I'd moved them. "You do that when you're upset. Why?"
"It hurts to think about them," I whispered. "It's like I can't breathe… like I'm breaking into pieces…"It was bizarre how much I could tell Jacob now. We had no more secrets.
He smoothed my hair. "It's okay, Bella, it's okay. I won't bring it up again. I'm sorry."
"I'm fine." I gasped. "Happens all the time. Not your fault."
"We're a pretty messed-up pair, aren't we?" Jacob said. "Neither one of us can hold our shape together right."
"Pathetic," I agreed, still breathless.
"At least we have each other," he said, clearly comforted by the thought.
I was comforted, too. "At least there's that," I agreed.
6. The Ocean by The Bravery [lyrics] [download]
The sun and the moon
An ocean of air
So many voices
But nothing is there
But the ghost of you asking me why
Why did I leave
Oh the ocean rows us away, away, away
The ocean rows us away
"Don't do this," he pleaded.
You wanted me to be human, I reminded him. Well, watch me.
"Please. For me."
But you won't stay with me any other way.
...
The current won at that moment, shoving me abruptly against something hard, a rock invisible in the gloom. It hit me solidly across the chest, slamming into me like an iron bar, and the breath whooshed out of my lungs, escaping in a thick cloud of silver bubbles. Water flooded down my throat, choking and burning. The iron bar seemed to be dragging me, pulling me away from Edward, deeper into the dark, to the ocean floor.
Goodbye, I love you, was my last thought.
7. Patience by Take That [lyrics] [download]
I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend
I'll try to be strong believe me
I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me
I stared back at him. He was not my Jacob, but he could be. His face was familiar and beloved. In so many real ways, I did love him. He was my comfort, my safe harbor. Right now, I could choose to have him belong to me.
...
Maybe it would be easy - like holding his hand or having his arms around me. Maybe it would feel nice. Maybe it wouldn't feel like a betrayal. Besides, who was I betraying, anyway? Just myself.
Keeping his eyes on mine, Jacob began to bend his face toward me. And I was still absolutely undecided.
8. 24 by Jem [lyrics] [download]
Is there a heaven a hell
And will I come back
Who can tell
Now I can see
What matters to me
It's as clear as crystal
I'd never seen anything more beautiful-even as I ran, gasping and screaming, I could appreciate that. And the last seven months meant nothing. And his words in the forest meant nothing. And it did not matter if he did not want me. I would never want anything but him, no matter how long I lived.
The clock tolled, and he took a large stride toward the light.
"No!" I screamed. "Edward, look at me!"
He wasn't listening. He smiled very slightly. He raised his foot to take the step that would put him directly in the path of the sun.
I slammed into him so hard that the force would have hurled me to the ground if his arms hadn't caught me and held me up. It knocked my breath out of me and snapped my head back.
His dark eyes opened slowly as the clock tolled again.
He looked down at me with quiet surprise.
"Amazing," he said, his exquisite voice full of wonder, slightly amused. "Carlisle was right."
9. All We Are by OneRepublic [lyrics] [download]
Lord knows I'll fail you time and again
But you and me we're all right
Every single day that I can breathe
You changed my philosophy
I'm never gonna let you pass me by
"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars-points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."
I wanted to believe him. But this was my life without him that he was describing, not the other way around.
"Your eyes will adjust," I mumbled.
"That's just the problem-they can't."
10. Orchard of Mines by Globus [lyrics] [download]
I'll say it to be proud, won't have my life turn upside down
Says the man with some, with some gold forged plan
Of life so incomplete, like weights strapped around my feet
Tread careful one step at a time
Do you not know, I see you play the game
"Was there something else you needed, Jacob? You wanted me in trouble-mission Accomplished. Charlie might just send me to military school. But that won't keep me away from Edward. There's nothing that can do that. What more do you want?"
Jacob kept his eyes on Edward "I just needed to remind your bloodsucking friends of a few key points in the treaty they agreed to. The treaty chat is the only thing stopping me from ripping his throat out right this minute."
"We haven't forgotten," Edward said at the same time that I demanded, "What key points?"
Jacob still glowered at Edward, but he answered me. "The treaty is quite specific. If any of them bite a human, the truce is over. Bite, not kill," he emphasized.
"That's none of your business."
"The hell it-" was all he managed to choke out.
I didn't expect my hasty words to bring on such a strong response. Despite the warning he'd come to give, he must not have known. He must have thought the warning was just a precaution. He hadn't realized-or didn't want to believe-that I had already made my choice. That I was really intending to become a member of the Cullen family.
BONUS: Kissed to Life (from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer") by Robert Duncan [download]
"Just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I've done to you. Can you?" he whispered.
"What kind of an idiotic question is that?"
"Just answer it. Please."
I stared at him darkly for a long moment. "The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you-and there's nothing you can do about it!"
"That's all I needed to hear."
His mouth was on mine then, and I couldn't fight him. Not because he was so many thousand times stronger than me, but because my will crumbled into dust the second our lips met.
LOVE SONG REQUIEM - A TWILIGHT SERIES FANMIX IN FOUR PARTS
PART TWO - NEVER ALONE: EDWARD/BELLA, JACOB/BELLA
[full mix download - .zip]
1. Running Away by Midnight Hour [lyrics] [download]
And I, I'll never let you find me
I'm leaving you behind with the past
No, I won't look back
And I don't want to hear your reasons
Don't want to hear you tell me why I should stay
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.
There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.
"You… don't… want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.
"No...It will be as if I'd never existed."
2. Circles by Natalie Walker [lyrics] [download]
This chapter is over
He’s not coming home
Her heart in her throat
She falls to the floor
I pressed down on the top of the CD player. The latch unhooked, and the lid slowly swung open.
It was empty.
The album Renee had given me sat on the floor beside the bed, just where I'd put it last. I lifted the cover with a shaking hand.
I didn't have to flip any farther than the first page. The little metal corners no longer held a picture in place. The page was blank except for my own handwriting scrawled across the bottom: Edward Cullen, Charlie's kitchen, Sept. 13th.
I stopped there. I was sure that he would have been very thorough.
It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me.
I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.
I did not resurface.
3. Never Alone by Barlow Girl [lyrics] [download]
And though I can not see you
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, reassurance
You've placed in my life
We cannot separate
'Cause you're part of me
And though you're invisible
I'll trust the unseen
"Bella, stop this right now!"
My muscles locked into place, froze me where I stood. Because it wasn't Jessica's voice that rebuked me now. It was a furious voice, a familiar voice, a beautiful voice-soft like velvet even though it was irate.
It was his voice-I was exceptionally careful not to think his name-and I was surprised that the sound of it did not knock me to my knees, did not curl me onto the pavement in a torture of loss. But there was no pain, none at all.
In the instant that I heard his voice, everything was very clear. Like my head had suddenly surfaced out of some dark pool. I was more aware of everything-sight, sound, the feel of the cold air that I hadn't noticed was blowing sharply against my face, the smells coming from the open bar door.
I looked around myself in shock.
"Go back to Jessica," the lovely voice ordered, still angry. "You promised-nothing stupid."
I was alone. Jessica stood a few feet from me, staring at me with frightened eyes. Against the wall, the strangers watched, confused, wondering what I was doing, standing there motionless in the middle of the street.
4. Sober by Kelly Clarkson [lyrics] [download]
And I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time
Three months and it's still harder now
Three months I've been living here without you now
Three months yeah, three months
It clicked together for me then. I wanted to be stupid and reckless, and I wanted to break promises. Why stop at one?
...
"Jacob, what do you know about motorcycles?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Some. My friend Embry has a dirt bike. We work on it together sometimes. Why?"
"Well…" I pursed my lips as I considered. I wasn't sure if he could keep his mouth shut, but I didn't have many other options. "I recently acquired a couple of bikes, and they're not in the greatest condition. I wonder if you could get them running?"
"Cool." He seemed truly pleased by the challenge. His face glowed. "I'll give it a try."
5. Breathe In, Breathe Out by Matt Kearney [lyrics] [download]
Breathe in, breathe out
Tell me all of your doubts
Everybody bleeds this way, just the same
Breathe in, breathe out
Move on and break down
If everyone goes away, I will stay
"Why do you do that?" he asked. He tugged lightly at one of my arms, which was bound around my chest, and then gave up when it wouldn't come loose easily. I hadn't even realized I'd moved them. "You do that when you're upset. Why?"
"It hurts to think about them," I whispered. "It's like I can't breathe… like I'm breaking into pieces…"It was bizarre how much I could tell Jacob now. We had no more secrets.
He smoothed my hair. "It's okay, Bella, it's okay. I won't bring it up again. I'm sorry."
"I'm fine." I gasped. "Happens all the time. Not your fault."
"We're a pretty messed-up pair, aren't we?" Jacob said. "Neither one of us can hold our shape together right."
"Pathetic," I agreed, still breathless.
"At least we have each other," he said, clearly comforted by the thought.
I was comforted, too. "At least there's that," I agreed.
6. The Ocean by The Bravery [lyrics] [download]
The sun and the moon
An ocean of air
So many voices
But nothing is there
But the ghost of you asking me why
Why did I leave
Oh the ocean rows us away, away, away
The ocean rows us away
"Don't do this," he pleaded.
You wanted me to be human, I reminded him. Well, watch me.
"Please. For me."
But you won't stay with me any other way.
...
The current won at that moment, shoving me abruptly against something hard, a rock invisible in the gloom. It hit me solidly across the chest, slamming into me like an iron bar, and the breath whooshed out of my lungs, escaping in a thick cloud of silver bubbles. Water flooded down my throat, choking and burning. The iron bar seemed to be dragging me, pulling me away from Edward, deeper into the dark, to the ocean floor.
Goodbye, I love you, was my last thought.
7. Patience by Take That [lyrics] [download]
I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend
I'll try to be strong believe me
I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me
I stared back at him. He was not my Jacob, but he could be. His face was familiar and beloved. In so many real ways, I did love him. He was my comfort, my safe harbor. Right now, I could choose to have him belong to me.
...
Maybe it would be easy - like holding his hand or having his arms around me. Maybe it would feel nice. Maybe it wouldn't feel like a betrayal. Besides, who was I betraying, anyway? Just myself.
Keeping his eyes on mine, Jacob began to bend his face toward me. And I was still absolutely undecided.
8. 24 by Jem [lyrics] [download]
Is there a heaven a hell
And will I come back
Who can tell
Now I can see
What matters to me
It's as clear as crystal
I'd never seen anything more beautiful-even as I ran, gasping and screaming, I could appreciate that. And the last seven months meant nothing. And his words in the forest meant nothing. And it did not matter if he did not want me. I would never want anything but him, no matter how long I lived.
The clock tolled, and he took a large stride toward the light.
"No!" I screamed. "Edward, look at me!"
He wasn't listening. He smiled very slightly. He raised his foot to take the step that would put him directly in the path of the sun.
I slammed into him so hard that the force would have hurled me to the ground if his arms hadn't caught me and held me up. It knocked my breath out of me and snapped my head back.
His dark eyes opened slowly as the clock tolled again.
He looked down at me with quiet surprise.
"Amazing," he said, his exquisite voice full of wonder, slightly amused. "Carlisle was right."
9. All We Are by OneRepublic [lyrics] [download]
Lord knows I'll fail you time and again
But you and me we're all right
Every single day that I can breathe
You changed my philosophy
I'm never gonna let you pass me by
"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars-points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."
I wanted to believe him. But this was my life without him that he was describing, not the other way around.
"Your eyes will adjust," I mumbled.
"That's just the problem-they can't."
10. Orchard of Mines by Globus [lyrics] [download]
I'll say it to be proud, won't have my life turn upside down
Says the man with some, with some gold forged plan
Of life so incomplete, like weights strapped around my feet
Tread careful one step at a time
Do you not know, I see you play the game
"Was there something else you needed, Jacob? You wanted me in trouble-mission Accomplished. Charlie might just send me to military school. But that won't keep me away from Edward. There's nothing that can do that. What more do you want?"
Jacob kept his eyes on Edward "I just needed to remind your bloodsucking friends of a few key points in the treaty they agreed to. The treaty chat is the only thing stopping me from ripping his throat out right this minute."
"We haven't forgotten," Edward said at the same time that I demanded, "What key points?"
Jacob still glowered at Edward, but he answered me. "The treaty is quite specific. If any of them bite a human, the truce is over. Bite, not kill," he emphasized.
"That's none of your business."
"The hell it-" was all he managed to choke out.
I didn't expect my hasty words to bring on such a strong response. Despite the warning he'd come to give, he must not have known. He must have thought the warning was just a precaution. He hadn't realized-or didn't want to believe-that I had already made my choice. That I was really intending to become a member of the Cullen family.
BONUS: Kissed to Life (from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer") by Robert Duncan [download]
"Just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I've done to you. Can you?" he whispered.
"What kind of an idiotic question is that?"
"Just answer it. Please."
I stared at him darkly for a long moment. "The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you-and there's nothing you can do about it!"
"That's all I needed to hear."
His mouth was on mine then, and I couldn't fight him. Not because he was so many thousand times stronger than me, but because my will crumbled into dust the second our lips met.