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Life in Technicolor

May 19, 2010 22:37

Since I have progressed right through three comfort novels to a rant about footwear, fetishism, and design (core concept: since I love and respect my body and have zero erotic fantasies suitable for a BDSM dungeon, I will never wear 6" stiletto knee-high boots with buckles up the sides) to deleting most of said rant and going to a networking / talk event instead, I am now better. I am not looking forward to hustling for cash flow through on-the-side tutoring and whatever reasonable services I can churn out. (She cooks! She bakes! ...actually, a bake sale might work. I'm good at baking!)

I had the good sense to get a car and drive to the networking event, instead of messing with bus-train-walking shenanigans, which meant I got an awesome networking event and I got me-on-the-highway time too. The greater Bay area offers magnificent driving: even route 101 has the hills and San Francisco Bay opening at your feet, and driving back into the city at night is a unique and hilly joy. A perfect distraction for that horrible creeping feeling you've made a terrible mistake: your life is on the East Coast, your friends and your work and your home is there, and you know what? I realized, between the Third Street and Octavia Street exits, that I do not want to go home. I want to make a new home here.

I moved to San Francisco to make a fresh start: moving does not solve all problems, but in my case it replaced one set of stresses with a different (mostly preferable) set, and it's a daily reminder that if I don't like something, I can change it. I'm trying to be more mindful of other people (this is a really long term project), and more positive about my own life. Some things are in the past, and I can't change them. What I can change is how I look at those events, and what lessons I'm taking from them. Interviews are really great for that, because it's a chance to grab "I quit my job and moved nearly 3,000 miles on a whim" and spin that into, "I took a chance to expand my horizons." Would I have ever run or walked a 12k in DC?

This message brought to you by my opportunity to hear about other women's choices, Life in Technicolor, Magnificent, and I'm Not Dead.

sick tally, san francisco, miniessays

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