i find that i have become quite moody
its strange, unlocking this different regions, areas of my mind and myself. unlocking, and making them stay unlocked. i seem to be forgetting. its a battle with myself, to remember the bases for what i do, for why i live. i forget, and hard as i try i can't remember what it was that i really wanted so badly to do today, what was the reason to take the time? 'if you forget about it, then it must not have been that important.' no, i don't think that's it. i think its something inside of me hiding, taking the lazy path of hibernation, or even permanent lobotomy. at the heart of all this is fear. to grow afraid of life, to look down into the stare of obilivion and defeat. there is something missing, yes, i remember another time when i forgot, and spent a good deal of time trying to remember. when the paths open up, i try to walk them for as far as i can, but when i come to a wall it all gets erased.