The Universe Must Have My Back
Apparently it was better not to trust anyone.
I thought sharing opinions among colleagues was a way to make new friends and build solid friendships, but in reality, it was not like that... AT ALL.
I felt a strong need to express my way of feeling bad everyday constantly: you could call me an attention whore, but this guy always needs to let it all out. Being looked in a strong bad way by my managers was something that truly reached the deepest part of my heart that I left my my stupid mouth open again. I talked shit about one of them to one of my colleagues so... BOOM. How could I expect that tiny and stupid girl to go run to the manager and tell her ANYTHING?
I mean, what I said wasn’t even fake: she was so rude and bossy, nobody could stand her at all even if not all of them admitted it. Maybe I had fucked up everything, or maybe not? Was there still time to learn from my mistakes? Or it was just an illusion I had created in order not to think about it? I didn’t know the answer, I was probably scared of it. It was frightening, terrifying. Someone would think I am an immature and spoiled teenager, but after all, who was gonna tell me I would have had a great future? Maybe I had created a totally mine universe where everything was according to moi and nobody would ever dare to hold me down. Was I really that stupid?
I needed an answer and that was coming on the 19th. I had a job chat with the “rude and bossy” manager since she was nominated as my mentor... you would think I am the unluckiest victim in the world and I MUST agree with you! Were they about to throw me in the bin or were they willing to give me the opportunity I had waited for months? The only answer I could literally hear was Amanda Seyfried singing “I Have a Dream” through my earphones and she was right: “I’ll cross the stream, I have a dream”. I had forgot I still had a dream. Damn, how could music be so powerful? Why had I forgot the world is wide, big and ready to give me another chance? There are moments in anyone’s life when you decide to fight or give up: I had chosen to fight.
I wanted to win. Will I?