I can't think of a subject
I just wanted to leave a little message for yvonnereid to thank her for the lovely E-card she sent (Love you, hon!) and to buzziecat for her emails, all of them. Thank you, Buzzie, for being there.
I'm sorry I haven't commented on any of your Christmas/Holidays posts but it wasn't exactly Christmas here, nor I believe it ever will be again now that dad's not with us anymore. I haven't had the right spirit for Christmas for ages, and now it's gone and will in all likelihood stay that way. My sister and BiL came here for dinner on the 24th, and then for lunch/afternoon on the 25th, but we didn't wish each other a merry anything and we treated the day like a simple random "sunday" lunch or dinner or whatever. I replied to the Xmas wishes sent my way, of course, but didn't send any of my own because it just wasn't felt so why fake it?
I'm currently dreading New Years's Eve because my sister and BiL will be forced to stay at their house with the dogs for fear of them getting frightened by the fireworks. My sister did try to offer to come anyway and risk it since usually her neighborhood doesn't get up to much firework-wise, but for one we'd all be worried for the dogs because one never knows, and for another I'd be terrified for my sister and BiL to go home in the early hours of the morning. There's always someone idiotically playing tricks on NYE and I'd rather know them safely at home than in the car.
So that night will be hard for me. I'll be alone, whereas before even if I didn't have plans I at least had dad here and we'd toast together... this year I won't have anyone but mom and she'll likely already be asleep by midnight. And even if she isn't, it's not like she understands what's going on. That'll be the worst of the whole holiday time this year. But it'll pass. I think I'll be marathoning some TV show (possibly Gilmore Girls since I'll need a laugh) and pretend I don't hear fireworks or countdowns or whatever. It'll be alright... it has to be, after all.
Next year will bring another big change in my life and I can't say I'm excited about it but I'm positive it'll do me good and in time I'll be happy about it. Content, at least.
Sorry, depressing post over I promise. I'm afraid I don't know how to write anything else at the moment.
I hope you guys enjoyed your celebrations and had a good time with your loved ones.
I'm sorry I haven't commented on any of your Christmas/Holidays posts but it wasn't exactly Christmas here, nor I believe it ever will be again now that dad's not with us anymore. I haven't had the right spirit for Christmas for ages, and now it's gone and will in all likelihood stay that way. My sister and BiL came here for dinner on the 24th, and then for lunch/afternoon on the 25th, but we didn't wish each other a merry anything and we treated the day like a simple random "sunday" lunch or dinner or whatever. I replied to the Xmas wishes sent my way, of course, but didn't send any of my own because it just wasn't felt so why fake it?
I'm currently dreading New Years's Eve because my sister and BiL will be forced to stay at their house with the dogs for fear of them getting frightened by the fireworks. My sister did try to offer to come anyway and risk it since usually her neighborhood doesn't get up to much firework-wise, but for one we'd all be worried for the dogs because one never knows, and for another I'd be terrified for my sister and BiL to go home in the early hours of the morning. There's always someone idiotically playing tricks on NYE and I'd rather know them safely at home than in the car.
So that night will be hard for me. I'll be alone, whereas before even if I didn't have plans I at least had dad here and we'd toast together... this year I won't have anyone but mom and she'll likely already be asleep by midnight. And even if she isn't, it's not like she understands what's going on. That'll be the worst of the whole holiday time this year. But it'll pass. I think I'll be marathoning some TV show (possibly Gilmore Girls since I'll need a laugh) and pretend I don't hear fireworks or countdowns or whatever. It'll be alright... it has to be, after all.
Next year will bring another big change in my life and I can't say I'm excited about it but I'm positive it'll do me good and in time I'll be happy about it. Content, at least.
Sorry, depressing post over I promise. I'm afraid I don't know how to write anything else at the moment.
I hope you guys enjoyed your celebrations and had a good time with your loved ones.