(no subject)
Feeling a little better however I had a long convo with Jelena that involved a little yelling at each other. Basically I got pissed off because she told Chris a lot of what I told her in secrecy and in my opinion you dont tell the persons brother. Not to mention there was no need to. I know she does the majority of these things becausae she cares but still. Anyway I apologized to her for getting mad and she got mad at me saying I was a door mat. Then she went into verbal ass kicking about how I take so much shit in all my relationships and I let guys walk all over me and I dont give mysefl enough credit and how could I still even say the name steve after what he had done to me and such and I was like wtf? Where do you get off telling me this shit like god. Yes I know steve was a dick o me and i know what he did to me was horrible and basically rape. But steve also has a huge part of me. He was the first. He made me feel better he made me a better person. So how is telling my brother so i have to stay away from him going to help? Chris you say I dont listen I gave up my ex boyfriend who i adore/ my good friend for you so dont tell me I dont take your advice...it killed me to just drop steve out of my life like that. He was my only male support at that time. Now you are but that doesnty mean you have to be the only one. I can have two. And in my opinion I dont get walked all over. I may be a little submissive and yes I do forgive easily but thats because holding grudges tkaes so much effort that I could not care to put out. ITS MY LIFE!!! If I want to go and make stupid mistyakeds then let me how esle am i going to learn.
I just need somewhere there. Steve always was. Jele your there but yopu yell when I do something you dont approve of as a friend. Torri is always there but i cant always get a hold of her and I cant just keep bugging her in her school. She has a new life, and unfortunately im no longer 99% of it. Heather is always there too but she s kind of like jelena she doesnt yell but she just wont hear of it of she dissaproves. Chelsea Ferrando is very quickly becoming a huge support system in my life. She isnt bias she doesn ttake sides she just listens and gives advice with the attitude you can take it or you can not but Im still here either wya. Chris I tell him everything but his reactions and actiopnds to some things cause me to not tell him others then when Jele tells him i get in more shit from him thena i would have if i had told him lesson: DONT TELL JELENA WHAT I CANT TELL CHRIS!
I love chris to death and I appreciate everything he does for me. my dad isnt really a father figure and chris is. Simon is gone nnow so i no longer have the brother figure in my life to look out for me joke with me and such chris is there. I have grown up in a very overprotected family and as much as i say i hate it and probably do, without i feel lost and helpless like i have noone and i get mad at chris for what i think as overreacting but in all honesty id rather him over react then say nothing. Everyone gets the wrong impression and thinks that i like him or vice versa but in all honesty hes jkust the simon thats not here and the dad that refuses to be. Hes the brother I wanted and the dad i needed and of course the friend i luv.
I just need somewhere there. Steve always was. Jele your there but yopu yell when I do something you dont approve of as a friend. Torri is always there but i cant always get a hold of her and I cant just keep bugging her in her school. She has a new life, and unfortunately im no longer 99% of it. Heather is always there too but she s kind of like jelena she doesnt yell but she just wont hear of it of she dissaproves. Chelsea Ferrando is very quickly becoming a huge support system in my life. She isnt bias she doesn ttake sides she just listens and gives advice with the attitude you can take it or you can not but Im still here either wya. Chris I tell him everything but his reactions and actiopnds to some things cause me to not tell him others then when Jele tells him i get in more shit from him thena i would have if i had told him lesson: DONT TELL JELENA WHAT I CANT TELL CHRIS!
I love chris to death and I appreciate everything he does for me. my dad isnt really a father figure and chris is. Simon is gone nnow so i no longer have the brother figure in my life to look out for me joke with me and such chris is there. I have grown up in a very overprotected family and as much as i say i hate it and probably do, without i feel lost and helpless like i have noone and i get mad at chris for what i think as overreacting but in all honesty id rather him over react then say nothing. Everyone gets the wrong impression and thinks that i like him or vice versa but in all honesty hes jkust the simon thats not here and the dad that refuses to be. Hes the brother I wanted and the dad i needed and of course the friend i luv.