I really can't tell when people say I'm doing okay. If they mean it or they are trying to be nice
Just a quick update for anyone that might care, and myself because it's my journal and I can put in it what a want, the new job is not going so well. As the title suggests I'm not sure if it's because I have zero confidence and a really have got the hard calls, or if my calls are hard/not positive because I haven't handled them well. I've felt so anxious about being live on the phone I've made my physically sick. It took me a miracle to work myself up to even going into work these last 2 days. I wake up and I'm so anxious I feel horribly sick, and shaky and almost paralised with fear. This is not good, but then giving up and failing at yet another job isn't going to be any better for me in the long run, in fact it'd more likely be the last nail in the coffin.
My training manager seems to think I'm doing okay and that I'm putting to much pressure on myself. That last bit is at least accurate; I do put to much pressure on myself, but don't know how to stop. Anyway I talked with my training mangers today and they are going to try to listen in on my call more and give me detailed feed back after each one; to be honest I don't this will happen, I'm sure she'll try but there are 9 other trainees wanting her help she hasn't time to baby me.
Anyway I made it though today somehow and I'm going to do very best to make it though the next; maybe by Friday I'll feel more confident because I finish training and start for real in my team next Monday.
My training manager seems to think I'm doing okay and that I'm putting to much pressure on myself. That last bit is at least accurate; I do put to much pressure on myself, but don't know how to stop. Anyway I talked with my training mangers today and they are going to try to listen in on my call more and give me detailed feed back after each one; to be honest I don't this will happen, I'm sure she'll try but there are 9 other trainees wanting her help she hasn't time to baby me.
Anyway I made it though today somehow and I'm going to do very best to make it though the next; maybe by Friday I'll feel more confident because I finish training and start for real in my team next Monday.