2018, new year, new beginning...
brand new year, brand new start... perfect timing to start all over again...
kicked the habit of writing new year resolutions, cos' after a while, i realized i don't give a fuck about them anymore.. :D
so this is not going to be about new year resolutions, but more of what happened in 2017... or rather, the "romance" or dating scene i had devoted the last six months of my precious time on...
curious about the dating apps, i installed both "tinder" and "okcupid" in my mobile phone... i was eager to find out how attractive or desirable i am... personally, tinder was easier and more straightforward to use... i managed to chat with more people there... okcupid and i wasn't fated i guess (pun intended).
from tinder, i sorta had/have relationships with three guys...
the first one, M was a total disaster... everything started wrong with M... he "worked" long hours and could only meet up during wee hours, at his place, after his family had gone to bed... i guess i didn't have to go into any details what kinda relationship we had... and needless to say, dumbo me 'gave up' after the third visit...
then came A... A was sweet, soft spoken and a tad too whiny for my liking... but i love the attention he showered me... and he seemed to want to see me everyday.. i felt so loved, after so long, for the first time... we had 2 staycations, but like they always say, it's too good to be true... i lost my cool during the second one, and he was taken aback with my outburst (i returned the air con remote controller back to its basket a bit too hard/loud)... after that, i noticed A's interest started to fizzle... final test came when he went back to reservist for a week... if i didn't initiate conversation, he would not too... so i didn't text him after that... all the time when i was with A, he couldn't or didn't wanna be committed, so technically speaking, we were not an item... which seemed logical to me that i didn't have to be explicit when i ended the whole thing... we just stopped texting each other....
last but not least, EJ... well, actually, before i started seeing EJ, while i was still in an almost relationsip with A, i was chatting with both EJ and K on tinder... Met both of them after A was outta my life.. Met K for dinner first... yes, i'm superficial and unfortunately, his looks wasn't what i could accept... he was sweet though, and the first guy to give me flowers (out of all the others i met, he's the only one who gave me a gift)... and so after that meet up, i stopped contacting him...
the next week, i met EJ for tea, after my cover class in tampines, since he stays there... a very straightforward and in-your-face guy, completely different from the rest i've met... i was intrigued by him... he wasn't ashamed to share his financial status with me, a total stranger(it could be a lure, i guess, maybe he knows i'm soft hearted)... and so after that meet up, we became an item... well he was the one who said i'm his gf...
since he didn't have a job then and was in debt, i paid for all expenses when we went out... i could sense that he didn't like that, cos' he was powerless and he has a very big ego... then he fell sick and didn't have money to see doc.. needless to say, i transferred some to him... and then he started going for interviews where he needed new office wear cos' he couldn't fit into old ones... and so i kept transferring money to him... and finally he got a job with smrt and i was so happy for him... things were going well for us, till the fateful conversation on kids after christmas... i lashed out at him unnecessarily and he was taken aback... he wanted kids and i don't... i knew i went too far and i still want to be with him... nope, not cos' of the money, but i really think he made me see parts of me i didn't know existed... so i apologized to him and asked to be forgiven... of course, being the pro he is in relationships, he didn't say anything... but of course he answered my request with his actions... far and few messages (if i don't text him first, i think i can wait till i'm 90 and still don't hear from him)... don't know is it pure coincidence or what, he fell really sick during new year... which means i couldn't meet him to clear things...
actually to be honest, i don't really need to meet him at all... all his actions for the past two weeks were so obvious even the blind can see...but because i want a proper closure, i feel that i have to speak to him, face to face... he agreed to meet up this coming Saturday... let's hope that he doesn't bail out last minute (not surprised if he does)...
and to be frank, EJ is the one i 'love' the most... too bad, we were not meant to be...
so there you go, my efforts and tries at dating... well, at least i tried... close friends have said that i have not met the right guy, so all these didn't work out... i don't think all the fault lies with the guys... i need to work on myself too...
all i know is, i'm not going all out this year to find the one... i wanna take a break and focus on myself again... of course i'll still use the apps when i'm bored... if someone talks to me, fine... if no one initiates anything, so be it... not like i've never been single before...
universe, so what's in store for me in 2018? bring them on, baby! ;)
kicked the habit of writing new year resolutions, cos' after a while, i realized i don't give a fuck about them anymore.. :D
so this is not going to be about new year resolutions, but more of what happened in 2017... or rather, the "romance" or dating scene i had devoted the last six months of my precious time on...
curious about the dating apps, i installed both "tinder" and "okcupid" in my mobile phone... i was eager to find out how attractive or desirable i am... personally, tinder was easier and more straightforward to use... i managed to chat with more people there... okcupid and i wasn't fated i guess (pun intended).
from tinder, i sorta had/have relationships with three guys...
the first one, M was a total disaster... everything started wrong with M... he "worked" long hours and could only meet up during wee hours, at his place, after his family had gone to bed... i guess i didn't have to go into any details what kinda relationship we had... and needless to say, dumbo me 'gave up' after the third visit...
then came A... A was sweet, soft spoken and a tad too whiny for my liking... but i love the attention he showered me... and he seemed to want to see me everyday.. i felt so loved, after so long, for the first time... we had 2 staycations, but like they always say, it's too good to be true... i lost my cool during the second one, and he was taken aback with my outburst (i returned the air con remote controller back to its basket a bit too hard/loud)... after that, i noticed A's interest started to fizzle... final test came when he went back to reservist for a week... if i didn't initiate conversation, he would not too... so i didn't text him after that... all the time when i was with A, he couldn't or didn't wanna be committed, so technically speaking, we were not an item... which seemed logical to me that i didn't have to be explicit when i ended the whole thing... we just stopped texting each other....
last but not least, EJ... well, actually, before i started seeing EJ, while i was still in an almost relationsip with A, i was chatting with both EJ and K on tinder... Met both of them after A was outta my life.. Met K for dinner first... yes, i'm superficial and unfortunately, his looks wasn't what i could accept... he was sweet though, and the first guy to give me flowers (out of all the others i met, he's the only one who gave me a gift)... and so after that meet up, i stopped contacting him...
the next week, i met EJ for tea, after my cover class in tampines, since he stays there... a very straightforward and in-your-face guy, completely different from the rest i've met... i was intrigued by him... he wasn't ashamed to share his financial status with me, a total stranger(it could be a lure, i guess, maybe he knows i'm soft hearted)... and so after that meet up, we became an item... well he was the one who said i'm his gf...
since he didn't have a job then and was in debt, i paid for all expenses when we went out... i could sense that he didn't like that, cos' he was powerless and he has a very big ego... then he fell sick and didn't have money to see doc.. needless to say, i transferred some to him... and then he started going for interviews where he needed new office wear cos' he couldn't fit into old ones... and so i kept transferring money to him... and finally he got a job with smrt and i was so happy for him... things were going well for us, till the fateful conversation on kids after christmas... i lashed out at him unnecessarily and he was taken aback... he wanted kids and i don't... i knew i went too far and i still want to be with him... nope, not cos' of the money, but i really think he made me see parts of me i didn't know existed... so i apologized to him and asked to be forgiven... of course, being the pro he is in relationships, he didn't say anything... but of course he answered my request with his actions... far and few messages (if i don't text him first, i think i can wait till i'm 90 and still don't hear from him)... don't know is it pure coincidence or what, he fell really sick during new year... which means i couldn't meet him to clear things...
actually to be honest, i don't really need to meet him at all... all his actions for the past two weeks were so obvious even the blind can see...but because i want a proper closure, i feel that i have to speak to him, face to face... he agreed to meet up this coming Saturday... let's hope that he doesn't bail out last minute (not surprised if he does)...
and to be frank, EJ is the one i 'love' the most... too bad, we were not meant to be...
so there you go, my efforts and tries at dating... well, at least i tried... close friends have said that i have not met the right guy, so all these didn't work out... i don't think all the fault lies with the guys... i need to work on myself too...
all i know is, i'm not going all out this year to find the one... i wanna take a break and focus on myself again... of course i'll still use the apps when i'm bored... if someone talks to me, fine... if no one initiates anything, so be it... not like i've never been single before...
universe, so what's in store for me in 2018? bring them on, baby! ;)