I could have died, I was so happy.
I miss summer 2006. I miss college at 7. I miss happy bear. I miss Roseisle beach. I miss Fairy Park and the hill with the farmer/crusty vest. I miss the hill at the school with the bottle full of crap. Remember that time we had that kite but it wouldn't fly so we tied a bunch of sticks to it, and then by the time it started flying it was fifth period and the Renniegator sent Deon out to tell us to stop? I miss just bantering. I miss stressing about stupid shit like highers and Walkers and shitty teen politics.
I miss doing supervision together, like that time Neil shouted at those kids telling them to fuck off not realising the Renniegator was literally right behind him. And that time we were supervising the bottom door and we did that free-running thing where I ran out and jumped onto that really big step just to see what those kids would say? Probably no-one else remembers that but it was fun all the same. (This one's for Neil...) Remember Elian's birthday party where everyone slept in the shed but we didn't feel like sleeping so we went to Asda and got clementine juice and went up Lady Hill and watched the sun come up but we didn't actually see it come up cause of the sea cow in the sky? And then we picked everyone daffodils and on the walk back we seen the Renniegator asleep sitting up on her sofa? Then we threw the daffodils at everyone as they slept? I think that was the night I met Roisin and I had a tattoo transfer on my forehead and got a meat pie for Elian's birthday instead of a cake and instead of candles we got those dinosaur cake decorations. You know no-one seemed very appreciative, I thought it was genius. I think that was also the night Rich was sick on Elian's steps, probably while I was playing on that little tractor.
Remember the Fogwatt parties? Neil falling off that wall into that bush and then we walked up to Millbuies? People disappearing in what we thought was a shitty attempt to walk home alone when in actual fact they were just puking in a toilet? The dinosaur incident? Those really weird signs on the walls about bowling shoes being worn on carpets?
This is really back in the day. Remember Danny Agus parties? The ones where we'd be assured the house would be free all night and then about half eight every time they all came back because of Rosie? Oh Rosie. The time we got thrown out and had to sneak back in through the living room window to get our stuff so I stayed at Ewan's and we played GTA until 5am getting the jetpack and beeping the horns? COVER HOG. There was also that time someone had Hefty Fishy's number but everyone was too scared to do anything cause, you know, Hefty Fishy. There was that time with the tent in the garden, the time I don't remember much about except that Danny's family kept coming out so no-one could smoke and I found it all really funny. And that time we were just hanging out about to leave the house, and Danny was like "you guys go on ahead" and then when we reached the bottom of the garden Danny's dad came to the door and started yelling, Danny told us just to keep walking and not look back and then we were scared that he was going to come after us with a golf club the rest of the night. The lengths people went to to get money for a kebab. There was that creepy guy outside ESP that time who told Danny he'd make a perfect husband for his daughter too. Oh and the time Danny was totally wasted but when his parents asked what was going on he just told them he was depressed, and how sometimes he'd stay in all day not having been to school but he'd still come out at night wearing his school trousers.
Watching and and downloading films at Daryll's, finding Scott's porn, playing on Scott's trampoline, that old car with the lights that looked like eyes that they just decided to take apart one day, Scott's hammock, the way Scott's mum used to tell us to eat healthy at school but at home she'd just bring us a bunch of shitty food, Daryll's mum when she's wasted, 5 minute Michael and assorted other dirty jokes, barbecues (more specifically that barbecue where Daryll disappeared for ages while we were speaking to his brother and when we went upstairs he was topless and spewing), my 16th birthday party where we built the snowman with the giant cardboard wrapping paper tube cock. Remember when Daryll bought Patra (original Patra) and we just sat in it in the garage for ages?
The endless happy bear journeys, to Inverness every time we wanted to see a film, even to the Elgin cinema when we wanted to see a film (remember Final Destination 3 with the photo flash and then we piled into the car after and when we left the car park that flash went right through the car and we screamed? hahahahahahahaha), missing Aurora Borealis cause of driving, driving to Kellas, wherever the fuck Kellas is, driving to Lossie for ice cream, driving to Duffus castle all the time for no reason, fucking Snow Patrol being stuck in the CD player for months, Monday afternoon 3-hour lunches, feeding the ducks when the pond was frozen, driving to McDonalds because it bet driving in circles, walking back from Neil's to go to McDonalds that time, driving down to the karts that time and there was just a caravan on fire, haybailing that time, when we were outside the travel lodge as a trucker drove past amd I did that motion to make him toot the horn and he tooted the horn and then we realised I just woke the whole hotel up, the time everyone bought those pellet guns and went shooting one another in the woods, driving back from Neil's that time the badger was running down the road ahead of us so Duncan rolled down the window and yelled PULLLL OVERRRRRR, inappropriate banter in the Muckle, swalling our own brains, being IDd in the Muckle but only when Momo was working, never being IDd in the Thunderton or Flanagans, being too poor to drink anywhere else, Ewan/Duncan's 18th in Joannas (the first and hopefully last time I ever venture in there), quadruple vodkas and peeing on a hedgehog.
All the fun that came with Will Grant's party, or the journey back? Daryll pushing cake into Ewan's face, Duncan being sick out the window while driving in front of a cop car and van and while Daryll was dancing and shaking the car (to DJ Phallus, I hope that CD still exists by the way) and Ewan's knuckles just got whiter and whiter and I was convinced the bone would snap right through the flesh. Walking into my house and asking my Dad what the best way to clean vomit out of a car seat was and him being totally cool about it, and going to Asda to powerwash the spew off the side of the car before all the paint came off hahahaaaaaa
Neil's free houses were epic, "I'll have a smear... oh wait", the blue lemon cake, cheese on a knife, a totally ironic Guns'n'Roses documentary at 4am, watching Wil Cwac Cwac (it's really spelled like that, I googled it to try and find...) the turkey that looked like a shit, walking in to Elgin from Neil's, Duncan walking to Neil's that time only to be greeted with "what the hell were you doing?!", Duncan spewing superdrink into the bucket that time and it looking just like the Doritos dip he ate just before and me reading poetry to him while he was spewing, me having to hoover the smallest bathroom floor cause someone spilled bad things all over it, zoo babies, babestation, Daryll being sick in the laundry hamper and Elian being sick everywhere in the bathroom except the toilet, me reminding everyone how long it was until they had to go to work (why do you guys still tolerate me?)
The common room banter, oh the common room banter. Chocolate spread on the walls, George Foreman birthday BBQs, VOTE PENNYWISE HE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE, cooking first period Tuesday and eating it second period Tuesday while watching Lazytown despite the fact that I should have been in Higher English, the "Lord of the Rings cake" with the skeleton riding the ostrich, the burnt pan that we couldn't fix so we just hid it in someone else's cupboard (you guys are awesome for covering for me by the way), the time we put on Hot Potato and it lasted literally four seconds, the time you guys tried to carry me to Tesco, buying bubbles and kites and useless shite once at Tesco, the epic music battles in the fifth year common room ("IT SOUNDS LIKE A CAR ALARM GOING OFF UNDER WATER"), music study periods with the best keyboard ever, when Neil and Duncan had music practical and I had music study and we just cocked about and played the piano that time and they played the G song, SHEEBA, that time Duncan got rid of his x-box and tv and stuff and then the summer after that we played the Sims 2 all the time on said x-box, the way we always used to go into Gamestation and no-one ever bought anything, the "sorry try again" slush puppies, smelly guy (and how he re-appeared in Aberdeen... his name is Nicholas!), entering that competition to meet Bill Oddie (even though I think it closed like 4 months earlier?), free corn in the magazine, when Ewan and Neil used to go for ice cream all the time and the ladies in the bakery thought they were a couple, when everyone was in Europe so we just walked up the hill and climbed trees and got chased by the farmer and had tiny barbecues, and the farmer was a dick so we took down his ropeswing, Duncan always spitting in a coke bottle, Duncan being the chicken guy but always dropping the chickens and making them swim and selling them anyway, shaving Nadia's head that time, going shitloads of places and having amazing fun with Nadia, writing stories on the college ground with mint imperials way back when, dressing as a Transformer in the Talent Show, the time we told my sister that Steven McClue lived in her cupbaord and then she left him a bebo comment asking if he was "the boy that lived in my cupboard?", the time Ewan hid in her cupboard, Pootie Tang, SILLY FRIDAY and Jim Bowen, "I WISH I WAS DEAD" - laughing at the least appropriate moment possible, GOBSHITE, making that really big Jim Bowen collage at school and putting up Jim Bowen leaflets at school only for them to be ripped down and thrown in the bin by someone, the fact that we did nothing on muck up day but the year after us still got fuck all freedoms cause of us. I miss right before we moved to uni we'd hang out and Duncan would give me a lift home and we'd just sit in the car talking about fucking everything for another couple hours.
I don't even have half of it. I miss you guys.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=xwxkUPfsb8I
P.S. I keep thinking of more and more and more. Remember shit-a-brick, and trying to put shit-a-brick on Wikipedia? And the ginger ninja? The time me and Ewan were going to steal the window from Miss Mclean's soft top by just cutting it out and the time that french teacher started yelling at me and Neil for fighting in the corridor so we were going to steal her bike? Pushing one another around in wheelbarrows in Duncan's garden and nights of nerf? Always asking Mr Grant to explain raisin weekend or whatever the balls it is because it burned up time? The time Mrs Rossetter forgot to come to class or the time she fell off her seat? When Neil helped me write my personal statement and told the college they had to let me in because I am the last of the mohicans? SLEEPOVER CLUB and the dying giraffe, Ewan thinking it was his brother while we were up all night playing with lego/eating angel delight, STRIP! and the fact that you did, remember the time you guys seen Elian licking her little sister's hand and all the jokes we got out of that? RME on the fourth floor and people throwing Argos catalogues out of the window when the teacher was late? Making Duncan watch Jackass and it was like a switch was flicked? I'm still sorry.
I miss doing supervision together, like that time Neil shouted at those kids telling them to fuck off not realising the Renniegator was literally right behind him. And that time we were supervising the bottom door and we did that free-running thing where I ran out and jumped onto that really big step just to see what those kids would say? Probably no-one else remembers that but it was fun all the same. (This one's for Neil...) Remember Elian's birthday party where everyone slept in the shed but we didn't feel like sleeping so we went to Asda and got clementine juice and went up Lady Hill and watched the sun come up but we didn't actually see it come up cause of the sea cow in the sky? And then we picked everyone daffodils and on the walk back we seen the Renniegator asleep sitting up on her sofa? Then we threw the daffodils at everyone as they slept? I think that was the night I met Roisin and I had a tattoo transfer on my forehead and got a meat pie for Elian's birthday instead of a cake and instead of candles we got those dinosaur cake decorations. You know no-one seemed very appreciative, I thought it was genius. I think that was also the night Rich was sick on Elian's steps, probably while I was playing on that little tractor.
Remember the Fogwatt parties? Neil falling off that wall into that bush and then we walked up to Millbuies? People disappearing in what we thought was a shitty attempt to walk home alone when in actual fact they were just puking in a toilet? The dinosaur incident? Those really weird signs on the walls about bowling shoes being worn on carpets?
This is really back in the day. Remember Danny Agus parties? The ones where we'd be assured the house would be free all night and then about half eight every time they all came back because of Rosie? Oh Rosie. The time we got thrown out and had to sneak back in through the living room window to get our stuff so I stayed at Ewan's and we played GTA until 5am getting the jetpack and beeping the horns? COVER HOG. There was also that time someone had Hefty Fishy's number but everyone was too scared to do anything cause, you know, Hefty Fishy. There was that time with the tent in the garden, the time I don't remember much about except that Danny's family kept coming out so no-one could smoke and I found it all really funny. And that time we were just hanging out about to leave the house, and Danny was like "you guys go on ahead" and then when we reached the bottom of the garden Danny's dad came to the door and started yelling, Danny told us just to keep walking and not look back and then we were scared that he was going to come after us with a golf club the rest of the night. The lengths people went to to get money for a kebab. There was that creepy guy outside ESP that time who told Danny he'd make a perfect husband for his daughter too. Oh and the time Danny was totally wasted but when his parents asked what was going on he just told them he was depressed, and how sometimes he'd stay in all day not having been to school but he'd still come out at night wearing his school trousers.
Watching and and downloading films at Daryll's, finding Scott's porn, playing on Scott's trampoline, that old car with the lights that looked like eyes that they just decided to take apart one day, Scott's hammock, the way Scott's mum used to tell us to eat healthy at school but at home she'd just bring us a bunch of shitty food, Daryll's mum when she's wasted, 5 minute Michael and assorted other dirty jokes, barbecues (more specifically that barbecue where Daryll disappeared for ages while we were speaking to his brother and when we went upstairs he was topless and spewing), my 16th birthday party where we built the snowman with the giant cardboard wrapping paper tube cock. Remember when Daryll bought Patra (original Patra) and we just sat in it in the garage for ages?
The endless happy bear journeys, to Inverness every time we wanted to see a film, even to the Elgin cinema when we wanted to see a film (remember Final Destination 3 with the photo flash and then we piled into the car after and when we left the car park that flash went right through the car and we screamed? hahahahahahahaha), missing Aurora Borealis cause of driving, driving to Kellas, wherever the fuck Kellas is, driving to Lossie for ice cream, driving to Duffus castle all the time for no reason, fucking Snow Patrol being stuck in the CD player for months, Monday afternoon 3-hour lunches, feeding the ducks when the pond was frozen, driving to McDonalds because it bet driving in circles, walking back from Neil's to go to McDonalds that time, driving down to the karts that time and there was just a caravan on fire, haybailing that time, when we were outside the travel lodge as a trucker drove past amd I did that motion to make him toot the horn and he tooted the horn and then we realised I just woke the whole hotel up, the time everyone bought those pellet guns and went shooting one another in the woods, driving back from Neil's that time the badger was running down the road ahead of us so Duncan rolled down the window and yelled PULLLL OVERRRRRR, inappropriate banter in the Muckle, swalling our own brains, being IDd in the Muckle but only when Momo was working, never being IDd in the Thunderton or Flanagans, being too poor to drink anywhere else, Ewan/Duncan's 18th in Joannas (the first and hopefully last time I ever venture in there), quadruple vodkas and peeing on a hedgehog.
All the fun that came with Will Grant's party, or the journey back? Daryll pushing cake into Ewan's face, Duncan being sick out the window while driving in front of a cop car and van and while Daryll was dancing and shaking the car (to DJ Phallus, I hope that CD still exists by the way) and Ewan's knuckles just got whiter and whiter and I was convinced the bone would snap right through the flesh. Walking into my house and asking my Dad what the best way to clean vomit out of a car seat was and him being totally cool about it, and going to Asda to powerwash the spew off the side of the car before all the paint came off hahahaaaaaa
Neil's free houses were epic, "I'll have a smear... oh wait", the blue lemon cake, cheese on a knife, a totally ironic Guns'n'Roses documentary at 4am, watching Wil Cwac Cwac (it's really spelled like that, I googled it to try and find...) the turkey that looked like a shit, walking in to Elgin from Neil's, Duncan walking to Neil's that time only to be greeted with "what the hell were you doing?!", Duncan spewing superdrink into the bucket that time and it looking just like the Doritos dip he ate just before and me reading poetry to him while he was spewing, me having to hoover the smallest bathroom floor cause someone spilled bad things all over it, zoo babies, babestation, Daryll being sick in the laundry hamper and Elian being sick everywhere in the bathroom except the toilet, me reminding everyone how long it was until they had to go to work (why do you guys still tolerate me?)
The common room banter, oh the common room banter. Chocolate spread on the walls, George Foreman birthday BBQs, VOTE PENNYWISE HE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE, cooking first period Tuesday and eating it second period Tuesday while watching Lazytown despite the fact that I should have been in Higher English, the "Lord of the Rings cake" with the skeleton riding the ostrich, the burnt pan that we couldn't fix so we just hid it in someone else's cupboard (you guys are awesome for covering for me by the way), the time we put on Hot Potato and it lasted literally four seconds, the time you guys tried to carry me to Tesco, buying bubbles and kites and useless shite once at Tesco, the epic music battles in the fifth year common room ("IT SOUNDS LIKE A CAR ALARM GOING OFF UNDER WATER"), music study periods with the best keyboard ever, when Neil and Duncan had music practical and I had music study and we just cocked about and played the piano that time and they played the G song, SHEEBA, that time Duncan got rid of his x-box and tv and stuff and then the summer after that we played the Sims 2 all the time on said x-box, the way we always used to go into Gamestation and no-one ever bought anything, the "sorry try again" slush puppies, smelly guy (and how he re-appeared in Aberdeen... his name is Nicholas!), entering that competition to meet Bill Oddie (even though I think it closed like 4 months earlier?), free corn in the magazine, when Ewan and Neil used to go for ice cream all the time and the ladies in the bakery thought they were a couple, when everyone was in Europe so we just walked up the hill and climbed trees and got chased by the farmer and had tiny barbecues, and the farmer was a dick so we took down his ropeswing, Duncan always spitting in a coke bottle, Duncan being the chicken guy but always dropping the chickens and making them swim and selling them anyway, shaving Nadia's head that time, going shitloads of places and having amazing fun with Nadia, writing stories on the college ground with mint imperials way back when, dressing as a Transformer in the Talent Show, the time we told my sister that Steven McClue lived in her cupbaord and then she left him a bebo comment asking if he was "the boy that lived in my cupboard?", the time Ewan hid in her cupboard, Pootie Tang, SILLY FRIDAY and Jim Bowen, "I WISH I WAS DEAD" - laughing at the least appropriate moment possible, GOBSHITE, making that really big Jim Bowen collage at school and putting up Jim Bowen leaflets at school only for them to be ripped down and thrown in the bin by someone, the fact that we did nothing on muck up day but the year after us still got fuck all freedoms cause of us. I miss right before we moved to uni we'd hang out and Duncan would give me a lift home and we'd just sit in the car talking about fucking everything for another couple hours.
I don't even have half of it. I miss you guys.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=xwxkUPfsb8I
P.S. I keep thinking of more and more and more. Remember shit-a-brick, and trying to put shit-a-brick on Wikipedia? And the ginger ninja? The time me and Ewan were going to steal the window from Miss Mclean's soft top by just cutting it out and the time that french teacher started yelling at me and Neil for fighting in the corridor so we were going to steal her bike? Pushing one another around in wheelbarrows in Duncan's garden and nights of nerf? Always asking Mr Grant to explain raisin weekend or whatever the balls it is because it burned up time? The time Mrs Rossetter forgot to come to class or the time she fell off her seat? When Neil helped me write my personal statement and told the college they had to let me in because I am the last of the mohicans? SLEEPOVER CLUB and the dying giraffe, Ewan thinking it was his brother while we were up all night playing with lego/eating angel delight, STRIP! and the fact that you did, remember the time you guys seen Elian licking her little sister's hand and all the jokes we got out of that? RME on the fourth floor and people throwing Argos catalogues out of the window when the teacher was late? Making Duncan watch Jackass and it was like a switch was flicked? I'm still sorry.