so uhm... i think this blows

[asahi_haru]

Ok hi... as everyone knows yesterday was my bday... it was fun and i had a blast with my hubby... we stayed up all night till he had to go... he left me... but its not his fault its that stupid army... i tried so hard not to cry but i couldnt help it i just did and ive been crying randomly all day especially since i have no one here to talk to really, i just hope my reference went thru and then i get called back on the job... then i can get that and go to school so i can keep my mind busy. oh i also have therapy sessions and... and... i just miss him so much right now... its funny... cuz i thought being away from him for 6 weeks was bad, but now this... this is 6 month to a year and its just not fair at all i dont want him to go... and i found out one of his fears is me cheating on him while hes gone... i cant do that tho... cuz ive been cheated on by prior guys and he has been to and i know how much it hurts and i dont have the courage to even do anything that fowl...

i hate being alone, yknow it didnt phase me so severely until this morning when we were sitting in the car hiding from the sprinkles, i started talking and i realized how much of the littlest things mattered so much, like when he makes me juice, when he gets out of bed just to get me something to drink... when he kisses me to wake me up, the way we have those playful arguements, the way we cuddle and watch tv, when i cuddle against him at the movie theater, and just everything we do together... and i just want him to tell he loves me again...i just want to hug him and talk to him, but i guess its better he gets it done now rather than later.

~The cookie cries again~