today's one of those days .
i had a dream about my dad last night .
not really about him, but he was in it. and it was weird. it was a good dream though.
i miss him.
i miss my mom too. living with her honestly, when i think about it, wasn't that terrible. sure she was an alcoholic, and we got in huge fights all the time but, when she wasn't drunk, i loved her so much. i still love her, with everything i am. no matter how much she's lied to me and what she's put me through. she's still my mom and i still need to love her .
and just lately, i feel like my aunt secretly hates me and wants me out of her house. i'm just something else she has to worry about and more that she has to pay for. i mean i buy most of my things and hardly ask her for anything but she still just gives me so much money. i love living here i love her i love kyrsten but i just feel annoying and unwanted sometimes. we get along fine, she pretty much doesn't care that much about what i do. doesn't give me a curfew. i dunno. but then again, she cares more about me and my grades and everything more than my mom ever has. she helps me with whatever i need help in and is there for me and i can talk to her about everything. i can talk to my mom too but my aunt just listens better, like she cares more. honestly, i don't think my mother gives 2 shits about me. i moved out of her house and she hasn't ONCE said anything about me moving back in. she never even brings up the conversation. she just thinks i'm a brat and that its my fault i left and just talks shit to my grandma about me. but, that's fine because i have my aunt now and i'm happy here. i just ehh, i'm a baby when it comes to talking to people unless they confront me about it but i can't confront people. i'm just weirdly shy like that. and i should probably tell her how i feel, how i feel really annoying.
ok. it's decided. i'm writing her a letter.
anyways . annnd i'm sooooo sick of school. i'm doing better, getting my grades up. but i hate when i get really lazy. i never do my homework, barely my classwork and when i do do it, i find away to slack on it and bullshit it all. ugh. and i hate almost every single person at my school. the girls are all sluts and if they're not they look like a slut. or just extremely annoying. with an exception of some. and the guys are all assholes or just fags. either that or all they want is to fuck girls. with an exception of a very limited amount. sooooooooo god damn annnoyinggg. i don't like going to school at all. except to see tonya's beautiful face :) HA! because i love her more than anything in the wholllle wide world.
and my cute boy too. we're doing good and it makes me happyy. he makes me the happiest girrl everrr.
ooooookkaaaaaaay i'm done bitching. thanks.
not really about him, but he was in it. and it was weird. it was a good dream though.
i miss him.
i miss my mom too. living with her honestly, when i think about it, wasn't that terrible. sure she was an alcoholic, and we got in huge fights all the time but, when she wasn't drunk, i loved her so much. i still love her, with everything i am. no matter how much she's lied to me and what she's put me through. she's still my mom and i still need to love her .
and just lately, i feel like my aunt secretly hates me and wants me out of her house. i'm just something else she has to worry about and more that she has to pay for. i mean i buy most of my things and hardly ask her for anything but she still just gives me so much money. i love living here i love her i love kyrsten but i just feel annoying and unwanted sometimes. we get along fine, she pretty much doesn't care that much about what i do. doesn't give me a curfew. i dunno. but then again, she cares more about me and my grades and everything more than my mom ever has. she helps me with whatever i need help in and is there for me and i can talk to her about everything. i can talk to my mom too but my aunt just listens better, like she cares more. honestly, i don't think my mother gives 2 shits about me. i moved out of her house and she hasn't ONCE said anything about me moving back in. she never even brings up the conversation. she just thinks i'm a brat and that its my fault i left and just talks shit to my grandma about me. but, that's fine because i have my aunt now and i'm happy here. i just ehh, i'm a baby when it comes to talking to people unless they confront me about it but i can't confront people. i'm just weirdly shy like that. and i should probably tell her how i feel, how i feel really annoying.
ok. it's decided. i'm writing her a letter.
anyways . annnd i'm sooooo sick of school. i'm doing better, getting my grades up. but i hate when i get really lazy. i never do my homework, barely my classwork and when i do do it, i find away to slack on it and bullshit it all. ugh. and i hate almost every single person at my school. the girls are all sluts and if they're not they look like a slut. or just extremely annoying. with an exception of some. and the guys are all assholes or just fags. either that or all they want is to fuck girls. with an exception of a very limited amount. sooooooooo god damn annnoyinggg. i don't like going to school at all. except to see tonya's beautiful face :) HA! because i love her more than anything in the wholllle wide world.
and my cute boy too. we're doing good and it makes me happyy. he makes me the happiest girrl everrr.
ooooookkaaaaaaay i'm done bitching. thanks.