Is it so...

Jun 19, 2006 01:17

Is it so wrong to want someone who will want you. To not only be a 3rd or 4th choice, but a first or even 2nd. To be remembered, To be wanted. By ANYONE, a parent, a friend, a lover ( Read more... )

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as_sj99 June 23 2006, 13:53:16 UTC
I would never run away from Sierra.

The mess in the house, well there are messes any and every where. It's hard to have shattered expectations when I never really had expectations.

This has nothing to do with wether or not I like myself. I quit hateing myself awhile ago. Yes I still get derpressed and frusturated but that's normal, I think. While there are somethings about myself that I am working on improving, I probably always will. I think I like and care more about myself now than I ever have. I have looked at who I am and where I am, and who and where I want to be. I am working on that.

I am not looking for someone to validate me, or distract me, or even give a false sense of worth. I don't need, nor do I want that. I just want to know that someone cares for ME, because of ME. Not because of some misguided feeling of responsibilty, or politness, or whatever.

I like being by my self i ENJOY being by myself. Yes, there are times when I am lonely. There are even times I wonder what it would be like to be married. (though I will deny that last one.)

Do you know that I went somewhere once with someone, I walked off came back an hour later and mo one even noticed. Not even the person I was talking to.

I want to NOT feel INVISBLE ANYMORE!
I want to KNOW that if something happens to me that someone would notice.

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as_sj99 June 23 2006, 13:57:43 UTC
That someone would CARE

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