What's Your Type?
Types.
If you think about it… we've thought a lot about types over the years. Contemplated the type of Orange Juice you want, with pulp or without; what kind of Milk you prefer, whole or 2%; which kind of bread suits your fancy, white or wheat. Decisions about types are decisions we make every single day. We're used to it, we do it so much that we don't even think about it anymore. I like pulp-less, 2% and wheat. Those are my types.
Types of shoes, types of songs, types of candy… types of people. Types of people for you.
I'm a pretty decisive person, I've usually got my mind made up before I even know what I'm choosing from. Twix or Snickers, Black or Red, Flip-Flops or Stilettos; types, types, types. I've got them all. But people are a bit of difficulty for me. You know, because… honestly? I just don't have a type of people.
This… is my take on types.
I've never really had a type. I remember being in the 9th grade, and doing those journal surveys. This was during the days before Myspace, so we had journals that consisted of all kinds of questions ranging from "Who was your first kiss" to "What's your type?" You'd fill them out, pray no one reads your answers and subsequently pastes them to the bathroom wall; and then you'd pass it on to the next future convict of America. That's the way it worked. But I remember never filling out the question about types. Because, what do you say, you know?
"Hi, my name is Glexi, I like long walks in the rain… men who are tall, dark and handsome; and only semi-abusive. I like boys with green eyes, dirty blond hair, and legible handwriting… must be a fan of the Beatles. Must have two sisters, a married mother and father, no illegitimate children and preferably no VD's, thanks. Specially request that he be able to wipe his own ass and must have full knowledge of how to build a white picket fence."
I just have never been that way. I think types are ridiculous, because obviously if things have not worked out, on more than one occasion, with a person who fits your type… then they're not your type, right? Why would a person repeatedly choose an individual who fits a certain pedigree, when they've already seen what happens with that precise kind of individual? That's crazy to me.
I think, in the end, I'm safe anyway; because I'm pretty much no one's type. And I'm pretty sure I don't want to be because, well, to me anyway, there's nothing more unattractive than the following scenario:
Meet a boy… like the boy, the boy likes me. Hang out with the boy, get introduced to the friends, meet the family. All is good. Happy days, "love you long time, you're the one for me", co-habitation commences. I mean, that all sounds great. Sure. You're doing cartwheels, listening to Michael Bolton, the world is full of rose-colored stain-glass windows.
But, very randomly, the boy's friends and family occasionally call you "Samantha", and your name is "Cristina". 'Why am I being called Samantha', you say to yourself. 'Is it because he's cheating on me? Is there someone else? Am I just one of quite a few the-one-for-me's'?
No. Come on, he's a great guy, spends all his free time with you, his friends and family adore you… they just have a slight issue with remembering your name, that's all. But if there's no one else… WHY do they have a slight issue with remembering your name?
It's because you LOOK like Samantha. And before you, Samantha looked like Carol. Carol looked like Shaniqua, Shaniqua looked like Nelson… so on and so forth.
You are his type. And so was everyone before you, and that just… that just fucking sucks man. That "I'm just like everyone else" and "I am not original to this person in any sense of the word" feeling that sets in is just… shitty.
Types are shite. Think about it. Think about it the next time you look for someone who's identical to the last girl or boy that cheated on you, or drank the last beer or banged your 7 year old brother or whatever… whatever it is that was the last straw.
If you think about it… we've thought a lot about types over the years. Contemplated the type of Orange Juice you want, with pulp or without; what kind of Milk you prefer, whole or 2%; which kind of bread suits your fancy, white or wheat. Decisions about types are decisions we make every single day. We're used to it, we do it so much that we don't even think about it anymore. I like pulp-less, 2% and wheat. Those are my types.
Types of shoes, types of songs, types of candy… types of people. Types of people for you.
I'm a pretty decisive person, I've usually got my mind made up before I even know what I'm choosing from. Twix or Snickers, Black or Red, Flip-Flops or Stilettos; types, types, types. I've got them all. But people are a bit of difficulty for me. You know, because… honestly? I just don't have a type of people.
This… is my take on types.
I've never really had a type. I remember being in the 9th grade, and doing those journal surveys. This was during the days before Myspace, so we had journals that consisted of all kinds of questions ranging from "Who was your first kiss" to "What's your type?" You'd fill them out, pray no one reads your answers and subsequently pastes them to the bathroom wall; and then you'd pass it on to the next future convict of America. That's the way it worked. But I remember never filling out the question about types. Because, what do you say, you know?
"Hi, my name is Glexi, I like long walks in the rain… men who are tall, dark and handsome; and only semi-abusive. I like boys with green eyes, dirty blond hair, and legible handwriting… must be a fan of the Beatles. Must have two sisters, a married mother and father, no illegitimate children and preferably no VD's, thanks. Specially request that he be able to wipe his own ass and must have full knowledge of how to build a white picket fence."
I just have never been that way. I think types are ridiculous, because obviously if things have not worked out, on more than one occasion, with a person who fits your type… then they're not your type, right? Why would a person repeatedly choose an individual who fits a certain pedigree, when they've already seen what happens with that precise kind of individual? That's crazy to me.
I think, in the end, I'm safe anyway; because I'm pretty much no one's type. And I'm pretty sure I don't want to be because, well, to me anyway, there's nothing more unattractive than the following scenario:
Meet a boy… like the boy, the boy likes me. Hang out with the boy, get introduced to the friends, meet the family. All is good. Happy days, "love you long time, you're the one for me", co-habitation commences. I mean, that all sounds great. Sure. You're doing cartwheels, listening to Michael Bolton, the world is full of rose-colored stain-glass windows.
But, very randomly, the boy's friends and family occasionally call you "Samantha", and your name is "Cristina". 'Why am I being called Samantha', you say to yourself. 'Is it because he's cheating on me? Is there someone else? Am I just one of quite a few the-one-for-me's'?
No. Come on, he's a great guy, spends all his free time with you, his friends and family adore you… they just have a slight issue with remembering your name, that's all. But if there's no one else… WHY do they have a slight issue with remembering your name?
It's because you LOOK like Samantha. And before you, Samantha looked like Carol. Carol looked like Shaniqua, Shaniqua looked like Nelson… so on and so forth.
You are his type. And so was everyone before you, and that just… that just fucking sucks man. That "I'm just like everyone else" and "I am not original to this person in any sense of the word" feeling that sets in is just… shitty.
Types are shite. Think about it. Think about it the next time you look for someone who's identical to the last girl or boy that cheated on you, or drank the last beer or banged your 7 year old brother or whatever… whatever it is that was the last straw.