did you know that one in every 532 people in Ireland is a child molester?
rawr. ooh la la. zimby zimby bang bang. why are thou reading this...?
Yaga-zoozy-yaga-zoozy-yaga-zoozy ZIM!
Then, Endora turns into a parrot.
LING LING! DRINK YOUR MILK LIKE A HUMAN!
What? Who doesn't look like a human?
What kind of name is Ling Ling anyway?
Why wouldn't you believe in Ling Ling?
Every November 18th, a magical cat named Ling Ling comes to your house. She drinks all of the milk. Then she leaves you a "present." A cat-type present. Like waste. Cat waste. Ewwww. Why would a cat named Ling Ling leave that in your house?
WATCH OUT FOR LING-LING, SAMANTHA! She doesn't want to turn back into a cat because she likes being pampered by her human boyfriend!
Nimble me quick. Ling Ling is nimble.
What? Why did you stop reading? Isn't this mumbo jumbo of interest?
If it's not, you need to sort out your priorities.
I wonder at what point you realized that this was not Claire. Probably the first line.
If you still thought this was Claire, that's pretty darn sad. PRETTY. DARN. SAD.
Now the question is, who is this?
Is it Ling Ling?
OH NO! LING LING BROKE INTO CLAIRE'S LIVEJOURNAL!
Ling-Ling be nimble, Ling-Ling be quick. Ling-Ling jump over the dead corpse. ;) (That's how the rhyme really goes.)
It should make you feel comforted.
Are you comforted?
ARE YOU COMFORTED?!?!??!!?!
BE COMFORTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!