& they wonder why I left?
So....
For those who don't know, I've been pretty heavily involved in Altar Society at my church for the last 4 years. Just finished up a stint as president this past June.
Also for those who don't know, which is most, life has pretty much been hell this year in my house. My 2 oldest have had whatever issues they have explode to out of control with my son ending up trying to put me in a wrestling move on my youngest's bday (spending 3 days in the teen psych ward after) & my oldest going thru a variety of issues, starting with revealing she's anorexic & taking it as far as nearly trying to kill herself in late April spending a week in a different psych ward herself. (we won't get into her summer drama)
Through it all I got a lot of mixed comments from the people at the Catholic church I went to, was pretty heavily involved in & sent all 3 of the kids to school to.
A couple crowning glory moments in my growing disillusionment include watching the 'important' Catholics in the diocese get drunk (including the Bishop) every year at the ritzy Catholic Social Services dinner/fundraiser, listening to the endless whine whenever things weren't exactly the way they've been for the last 20 years, & then being told multiple times (by those who claimed to care & be friends) that if I'd only learn to balance the budget with just my full-time job, quit my 2 almost part time jobs & stay home more to be a 'proper mother' that nothing that happened with the kids this year would have happened. (won't get into my budget issues but the extra jobs are necessary for survival)
This does not include having the 'friend' whose kid helped spur Candice's near suicide blatantly deny that her kid had anything to do with it even when confronted by the facebook he sent my kid to getting to listen to several of the known 'aren't they wonderful' types bad mouth renters in general for either not paying their rent on time even if they didn't have the $$ to how dare they have dogs & just generally trash anyone who didn't own their home in general while they waited to be 'oh so holy' & help serve cake to the kids who were just confirmed.
So...basically I came to the decision that I had to leave the church to save any faith I had...talked to my youngest (who's starting 8th grade this year) & she was fine with transfering to a public school. My son already goes to one of the public high schools & my oldest was graduating from the Catholic high school this past May. Was seriously thinking of leaving but was also at the point where I could get talked out of it.
Come week before graduation, & Candice gets told by the financial lady at the high school that she (my kid) had better plan on doing something about the tuition that was still owed because the woman would make sure she wouldn't walk for the ceremony. Fortunately my kid had picked up a sort of champion at the school ( the head of guidance) & I don't know who saw red first - her or me. Several people that I told after said that they felt she was really out of line. All it did was cement my decision to leave.
Candice graduated, & I moved into my last week as Altar Society president. Got asked how big my role was going to be as past president at the last officer meeting I chaired. Told them I was leaving the church. Got the expected 'how could you'.
Fast forward to last night (tuesday), a full 2 weeks after I filed the transfer papers for the kid. Worked a dinner that I probably wouldn't have signed up for if I had known what it was - a celebration of the 50th anniversary in the priesthood for the Bishop. First I saw the nun who's the principal. She walked in the ballroom early, saw me & actually came up to me & gave me a hug (she's *never* done that) then wanted to know why I was pulling the kid. Told her it was a combination of issues - money was a big one. She suddenly said there were ways to work that out. Let her know it was also about everything that had transpired over the last year. She didn't say much. Ran into the school secretary who seemed way too happy to see me...then saw the pastor after & *he* waylaid me about why I was transfering the kid. (Anna, how can you take our Cristina away from us. She needs the covering we provide her) Told him the same thing & he suddenly also said that the $$ thing could be worked out.
I reminded him that he hadn't seen me in church since I left the Altar Society & that was because I'd completely walked away....out came the lecture/spewing of Catholic guilt. I got the 'well you have to just pray for them & forgive them', 'you can't let them come between you & God', all the way to 'you should be holding tight to the Church right now & the Eucharist if you're introuble not pulling away from it' & the best part 'we need to talk more on this & we need to pray for you to do the *right* thing' Amongst other admonitions.
yea....I've got my own rule - never ever cry at any of the jobs....& especially not in the *ballroom* for fuck's sake.....& he wonders *why* I left.....duh, Father Connor....
For those who don't know, I've been pretty heavily involved in Altar Society at my church for the last 4 years. Just finished up a stint as president this past June.
Also for those who don't know, which is most, life has pretty much been hell this year in my house. My 2 oldest have had whatever issues they have explode to out of control with my son ending up trying to put me in a wrestling move on my youngest's bday (spending 3 days in the teen psych ward after) & my oldest going thru a variety of issues, starting with revealing she's anorexic & taking it as far as nearly trying to kill herself in late April spending a week in a different psych ward herself. (we won't get into her summer drama)
Through it all I got a lot of mixed comments from the people at the Catholic church I went to, was pretty heavily involved in & sent all 3 of the kids to school to.
A couple crowning glory moments in my growing disillusionment include watching the 'important' Catholics in the diocese get drunk (including the Bishop) every year at the ritzy Catholic Social Services dinner/fundraiser, listening to the endless whine whenever things weren't exactly the way they've been for the last 20 years, & then being told multiple times (by those who claimed to care & be friends) that if I'd only learn to balance the budget with just my full-time job, quit my 2 almost part time jobs & stay home more to be a 'proper mother' that nothing that happened with the kids this year would have happened. (won't get into my budget issues but the extra jobs are necessary for survival)
This does not include having the 'friend' whose kid helped spur Candice's near suicide blatantly deny that her kid had anything to do with it even when confronted by the facebook he sent my kid to getting to listen to several of the known 'aren't they wonderful' types bad mouth renters in general for either not paying their rent on time even if they didn't have the $$ to how dare they have dogs & just generally trash anyone who didn't own their home in general while they waited to be 'oh so holy' & help serve cake to the kids who were just confirmed.
So...basically I came to the decision that I had to leave the church to save any faith I had...talked to my youngest (who's starting 8th grade this year) & she was fine with transfering to a public school. My son already goes to one of the public high schools & my oldest was graduating from the Catholic high school this past May. Was seriously thinking of leaving but was also at the point where I could get talked out of it.
Come week before graduation, & Candice gets told by the financial lady at the high school that she (my kid) had better plan on doing something about the tuition that was still owed because the woman would make sure she wouldn't walk for the ceremony. Fortunately my kid had picked up a sort of champion at the school ( the head of guidance) & I don't know who saw red first - her or me. Several people that I told after said that they felt she was really out of line. All it did was cement my decision to leave.
Candice graduated, & I moved into my last week as Altar Society president. Got asked how big my role was going to be as past president at the last officer meeting I chaired. Told them I was leaving the church. Got the expected 'how could you'.
Fast forward to last night (tuesday), a full 2 weeks after I filed the transfer papers for the kid. Worked a dinner that I probably wouldn't have signed up for if I had known what it was - a celebration of the 50th anniversary in the priesthood for the Bishop. First I saw the nun who's the principal. She walked in the ballroom early, saw me & actually came up to me & gave me a hug (she's *never* done that) then wanted to know why I was pulling the kid. Told her it was a combination of issues - money was a big one. She suddenly said there were ways to work that out. Let her know it was also about everything that had transpired over the last year. She didn't say much. Ran into the school secretary who seemed way too happy to see me...then saw the pastor after & *he* waylaid me about why I was transfering the kid. (Anna, how can you take our Cristina away from us. She needs the covering we provide her) Told him the same thing & he suddenly also said that the $$ thing could be worked out.
I reminded him that he hadn't seen me in church since I left the Altar Society & that was because I'd completely walked away....out came the lecture/spewing of Catholic guilt. I got the 'well you have to just pray for them & forgive them', 'you can't let them come between you & God', all the way to 'you should be holding tight to the Church right now & the Eucharist if you're introuble not pulling away from it' & the best part 'we need to talk more on this & we need to pray for you to do the *right* thing' Amongst other admonitions.
yea....I've got my own rule - never ever cry at any of the jobs....& especially not in the *ballroom* for fuck's sake.....& he wonders *why* I left.....duh, Father Connor....