ah!

May 12, 2007 12:57

I like palindromes, I wish I'd have seen the movie palindrome. I think it might have been Anne Sexton that got me interested. I like them because for me they symbolize continuity, I like the madness of them, I like that they are perfect phrases that may mean nothing. I wonder if other languages have little bits of yummy, like that. I also like experimental films and student films, some movies I rent no one else likes. Some movies I rent I don't even like them, but I rent them because I'm looking for something.

I don't know if anyone cares about this particular little meaningless part of the English Language, but I do. Palindromes to me are like, when you're a little kid and you eat a spoonful of pure sugar or pink lemonade mix, or you savor something purely because of it's salty taste. Palindromes are like the pleasure I get from just a tiny bit of salt water I taste, when making sure the salt water is right for cleaning a new piercing. That may sound wierd to you, but here is a list of palindromes that I like.

Ah, Satan sees Natasha.*
A dog, a panic in a pagoda.*
A dad, dabs bad Dada.*
Am I drawn inward, Ima?*
"Am I mad, Eh?" Giselle sighed, "Am I, Ma"?*
A slut nixes sex in tulsa*
Cain, Am I Maniac?*
Dammit, I Am Mad!*
Dogma, I am God!*
God, lived as a devil dog.*
"He lived as a devil, Eh?"*
I prefer Pi.*
"Redrum, sir is Murder."*
Sue, Yes. God's dogs eye us!*
U.F.O Tofu*
Warsaw was raw*
Won't Lovers revolt now?*

and my favorite Rats Live on no evil star!

I found this movie you may or may not like. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05KIv9rUBV0
_________________________

Other than that, I am heavily disturbed just a little bit. I now make more than nine dollars an hour. After two and a half years, I've been raised again. When I was 18, in highschool mind you, I made 5.50 an hour working at Gymboree. I thought about what it would be like to make two more dollars an hour. I craved the extra money and the hours. Now I'm 21, and I make three dollars and sixty-two cents more than what I made in 2004. One dollar and fifty-two cents more than when I was hired into the company. I am still barely getting by.
Now when I go job searching on craigslist, like so many others I skip over things that I don't think I'll qualify for. This narrows it down to just a few things, then I take out the jobs that I can't get to, because I don't have a car. After I feel like a nobody, what's left pays no more than what I make now, or less, or worse it's part time!
Now I'm aiming to work with my managers to get me up to soft lines team leader, but I feel like that's lowering my standards. I told myself I didn't want to dip my toe into retail management, because that will get my comfortable and I'll slip up at school.  Next thing you know I'll be thirty still working at the job that was supposed to be temporary.
Why can't I just do art for a living? That's what I want to do. I could be working on my portfolio that I wanted to start for the purposes of getting some good scholarships, but it's almost become hypothetical at this point. Sigh....
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