To those left to live...
I hate feeling unable to do anything to sooth the agony of those I care about with all my heart.
It's terrifying, the kind of despair that can seize, and grasp and crush your throat when you try to open your mouth to speak. The feelings you have when you're trying to be brave and strong, and all that strength flees from you. Hollow and empty.
All I have today to lend is my words. I never feel they are enough. But today, I will see if I can make them enough, make them strong, give them strength, give them purpose.
I never knew Bruce as well as I could. Part of that's admittedly my fault. I was too insecure, too scared to have people think badly of me. I tell others not to be insecure, to mind not what others think and say, but when the pendulum swings back, I'm just as taken with that fear. When I saw him on Sunday, I had too many thoughts in mind. I will never speak to him again.
He was a good person. The kind that you don't really hear about often. We're so used to seeing the horrible side of people, we forget quite easily that there are good people out there, with good intentions, good purpose. He helped many. I'm sure Becky can share those stories far more accurately than I, so I won't try. But let me stress what a good person he was, and is. I pray...yes, I pray that he is in a better place, free of his suffering.
There's no doubt how proud he'll be of his daughter.
She is, without a doubt, one of the strongest, kindest people I have ever had the privledge to meet. Through her tears, she's still carrying on, still pushing to give him the kind of send off that he deserves. If you know her, please send her your well wishes, your kind thoughts, your prayers. Let her know that you care. It's a simple thing to ask for, and a simple thing to give. Yet these kind thoughts can mean more than any gift that can be given.
I've said this before, that we take life far for granted.
The last few days I've been rather broken myself. I wonder quite often what the purpose of this is. I believe that life teaches us many things through the winding, twisting paths of our lives. I wanted to take something from this, I wanted to find something to hold onto, some shred of truth and feeling, to take from this, and raise it to something fundamental, something we need to hear and see. In short, I do not want Bruce to die in vain.
He wanted to help people, to help them reach their potential, to bring them from all paths of life to become better.
I may not know his full story, but that much I understood, and comprehended. It takes a rare person to care so much about mere strangers! It's rare, beautiful, and it's a fragment of life that needs to stay alive. No matter what.
We take life far too much for granted. We let things drift away, opportunities go by. We let simple things slip by us that mean so much. When we look around us, the world is there, waiting, waiting for us to make an impact. Do we? Most us us don't. We just sit....and let it all go by, until it's too late. And then what do we do? In our arrogance, in our folly, we blame life for snatching it all away, while we just *sat* there and let it go. Refusing to take the blame for our own inaction, our own lazy attitudes towards life. We tell ourselves there's plenty of time to do what we want to.
So I beseech every one of you. Everyone who reads this. Everyone who doesn't. Everyone who still holds onto life today. LIVE. Live EVERY moment to the fullest potential. DO something. DON'T just sit here, DON'T let these moments drift away. Be kind to others. Help others. Step outside of your own little circle, your own little comfort zone, take it out further. Be GOOD to your fellow human beings. Make this world a place that you can be PROUD of. If everyone tried like I am certain Bruce did, we would live in a paradise without equal.
Put your heart into everything you do, and if you stumble and falter and feel that weakness seize your heart, shrug it off, stand up, and keep walking. Mistakes happen. Not everything we do is going to be successful. But that isn't the point. I want to face myself when I'm 60, 70, 80, and I want to feel PROUD about my life, no matter where it turned up.
And I want each and every single one of you to feel that same way. If not for the sake of a man who did try, for your
own sakes.
To Becky, if and when you read this. You of all people deserve to be happy. You do try hard, and you HAVE done good for this world. And I smile when I think about the potential you have to make this world a better place. No matter
what course life takes, I will always be your friend. I know you have, and will continue to make your father proud.
And now that my eyes have turned into a water fountain and I have embarrassed myself, I leave you all with my best wishes. I will honor and cherish his memory.
--- And my words are set free to the winds.
It's terrifying, the kind of despair that can seize, and grasp and crush your throat when you try to open your mouth to speak. The feelings you have when you're trying to be brave and strong, and all that strength flees from you. Hollow and empty.
All I have today to lend is my words. I never feel they are enough. But today, I will see if I can make them enough, make them strong, give them strength, give them purpose.
I never knew Bruce as well as I could. Part of that's admittedly my fault. I was too insecure, too scared to have people think badly of me. I tell others not to be insecure, to mind not what others think and say, but when the pendulum swings back, I'm just as taken with that fear. When I saw him on Sunday, I had too many thoughts in mind. I will never speak to him again.
He was a good person. The kind that you don't really hear about often. We're so used to seeing the horrible side of people, we forget quite easily that there are good people out there, with good intentions, good purpose. He helped many. I'm sure Becky can share those stories far more accurately than I, so I won't try. But let me stress what a good person he was, and is. I pray...yes, I pray that he is in a better place, free of his suffering.
There's no doubt how proud he'll be of his daughter.
She is, without a doubt, one of the strongest, kindest people I have ever had the privledge to meet. Through her tears, she's still carrying on, still pushing to give him the kind of send off that he deserves. If you know her, please send her your well wishes, your kind thoughts, your prayers. Let her know that you care. It's a simple thing to ask for, and a simple thing to give. Yet these kind thoughts can mean more than any gift that can be given.
I've said this before, that we take life far for granted.
The last few days I've been rather broken myself. I wonder quite often what the purpose of this is. I believe that life teaches us many things through the winding, twisting paths of our lives. I wanted to take something from this, I wanted to find something to hold onto, some shred of truth and feeling, to take from this, and raise it to something fundamental, something we need to hear and see. In short, I do not want Bruce to die in vain.
He wanted to help people, to help them reach their potential, to bring them from all paths of life to become better.
I may not know his full story, but that much I understood, and comprehended. It takes a rare person to care so much about mere strangers! It's rare, beautiful, and it's a fragment of life that needs to stay alive. No matter what.
We take life far too much for granted. We let things drift away, opportunities go by. We let simple things slip by us that mean so much. When we look around us, the world is there, waiting, waiting for us to make an impact. Do we? Most us us don't. We just sit....and let it all go by, until it's too late. And then what do we do? In our arrogance, in our folly, we blame life for snatching it all away, while we just *sat* there and let it go. Refusing to take the blame for our own inaction, our own lazy attitudes towards life. We tell ourselves there's plenty of time to do what we want to.
So I beseech every one of you. Everyone who reads this. Everyone who doesn't. Everyone who still holds onto life today. LIVE. Live EVERY moment to the fullest potential. DO something. DON'T just sit here, DON'T let these moments drift away. Be kind to others. Help others. Step outside of your own little circle, your own little comfort zone, take it out further. Be GOOD to your fellow human beings. Make this world a place that you can be PROUD of. If everyone tried like I am certain Bruce did, we would live in a paradise without equal.
Put your heart into everything you do, and if you stumble and falter and feel that weakness seize your heart, shrug it off, stand up, and keep walking. Mistakes happen. Not everything we do is going to be successful. But that isn't the point. I want to face myself when I'm 60, 70, 80, and I want to feel PROUD about my life, no matter where it turned up.
And I want each and every single one of you to feel that same way. If not for the sake of a man who did try, for your
own sakes.
To Becky, if and when you read this. You of all people deserve to be happy. You do try hard, and you HAVE done good for this world. And I smile when I think about the potential you have to make this world a better place. No matter
what course life takes, I will always be your friend. I know you have, and will continue to make your father proud.
And now that my eyes have turned into a water fountain and I have embarrassed myself, I leave you all with my best wishes. I will honor and cherish his memory.
--- And my words are set free to the winds.