Chasing dreams like wisps of clouds...
You never really know if you're going to catch up with them.
Life's pretty good. I know I don't post often enough. I receive enough crap for that. ;) Repayment's going along smoothly, my tax return's in a week before I was expecting it, and I'm slowly beginning to piece things back together.
I'm finding myself back where I was originally, plus some experience and scars and deeper thoughts. There's less self-mutilation (in the mental sense, of course) and a growing air of confidence. Just no direction, still.
Not that a lack of direction is a bad thing, I've decided.
There's a point in a lot of games, especially RPGs, where they just drop you out in the middle of nowhere, and say 'Okay, go.' That's the point where I usually start dragging, because there's an infinity of options at that point. Do I go to point A and progress along their railroaded path? But there's so many things to do...I could do this and this and this and better myself and all of that....
You see the analogy, however poorly written, I hope. :)
Kind of like Final Fantasy 7. I never beat it. Never progressed out of the 1st disc. The second I left Midgar, I just completely, absolutely lost interest. There wasn't enough holding it together for me to want to continue and see what happens. It's so stupid, but I realize it's a parallel of my life in a lot of ways.
Give me freedom, and I won't know what the flippin hell to do it.
I have dreams. I think most people do. Mine are nothing too grand, because I have it drilled in my head that the only thing that matters is happiness and the happiness of people around me. Thank my father for that. I want few basic things in life. I want to have a comfortable home that can host escapism for my friends, the people I care about, etc. I want to be able to support myself and life relatively comfortably. I don't really aspire to riches and fame.
I would like to write. Play around with programming. Travelling to Japan and teaching English has always sounded like a crazy dream to me, and very possible. I want to learn, see the world, and more importantly, appreciate it for what it is, not what it could be.
We get so wrapped up in what ifs and why nots....you don't see the perfection in so many moments. I struggled with this quite a bit, and before I came to college, I found it a little easier not to take things for granted. Somewhere along the lines I got jaded, something I was hoping I would never become.
I didn't think it was reversible. I was also wrong in that regard.
Life is a gift. We are given a world where horrible things happen, but there are equally wonderful things that happen here too. Let's not forget that.
Take care, kids. ;)
--- May I forget what ought to be forgotten; and recall, unfailing, all that ought to be recalled, each kindly thing, forgetting what might sting. - Mary Caroline Davies
Life's pretty good. I know I don't post often enough. I receive enough crap for that. ;) Repayment's going along smoothly, my tax return's in a week before I was expecting it, and I'm slowly beginning to piece things back together.
I'm finding myself back where I was originally, plus some experience and scars and deeper thoughts. There's less self-mutilation (in the mental sense, of course) and a growing air of confidence. Just no direction, still.
Not that a lack of direction is a bad thing, I've decided.
There's a point in a lot of games, especially RPGs, where they just drop you out in the middle of nowhere, and say 'Okay, go.' That's the point where I usually start dragging, because there's an infinity of options at that point. Do I go to point A and progress along their railroaded path? But there's so many things to do...I could do this and this and this and better myself and all of that....
You see the analogy, however poorly written, I hope. :)
Kind of like Final Fantasy 7. I never beat it. Never progressed out of the 1st disc. The second I left Midgar, I just completely, absolutely lost interest. There wasn't enough holding it together for me to want to continue and see what happens. It's so stupid, but I realize it's a parallel of my life in a lot of ways.
Give me freedom, and I won't know what the flippin hell to do it.
I have dreams. I think most people do. Mine are nothing too grand, because I have it drilled in my head that the only thing that matters is happiness and the happiness of people around me. Thank my father for that. I want few basic things in life. I want to have a comfortable home that can host escapism for my friends, the people I care about, etc. I want to be able to support myself and life relatively comfortably. I don't really aspire to riches and fame.
I would like to write. Play around with programming. Travelling to Japan and teaching English has always sounded like a crazy dream to me, and very possible. I want to learn, see the world, and more importantly, appreciate it for what it is, not what it could be.
We get so wrapped up in what ifs and why nots....you don't see the perfection in so many moments. I struggled with this quite a bit, and before I came to college, I found it a little easier not to take things for granted. Somewhere along the lines I got jaded, something I was hoping I would never become.
I didn't think it was reversible. I was also wrong in that regard.
Life is a gift. We are given a world where horrible things happen, but there are equally wonderful things that happen here too. Let's not forget that.
Take care, kids. ;)
--- May I forget what ought to be forgotten; and recall, unfailing, all that ought to be recalled, each kindly thing, forgetting what might sting. - Mary Caroline Davies