A hard day to be a parent
Today was great this morning. I was full of pride as I watched my son play tennis for the first time in his life (not on a video game). He took to it well, which he doesn't normally do with sports.
However, this afternoon and evening was one of those hard days to be a parent. Sometime being the grown up in the situation means being the "big bad meany". This was one of those times, as I had to teach my son a hard lesson.
Earlier, as in days ago, Farmville was having a 40% off sale on their cash. The Farmville "cash" cost real-life money, which I don't normally get, or not much of (like $5 worth as a treat). So when it was on sale, I bought $25's worth, which was normally actually $40ish dollars. My son asked if that meant he could have the virtual dog on Farmville he's wanted. I explained to him I got this "cash" on sale, but that doesn't mean he's to spend it. It's still special treats and such. I just wanted to buy it as a good deal now, then later on at full price.
When I got home from the center I volunteer at, he had a bunch of peacocks, cardinals, geese, and an owl; he also had only $2 Farmville cash left! He'd blown through all $230ish Farmville dollars, which cost me real-live $25.
As you can imagine, I was upset. I asked why he'd spent the money, and why it was down to only $2. He said he didn't know the "Mystery game" he was playing cost the Farmville cash. This is not the first time he's clicked on stuff before reading, and we've talked about how dangerous that can be on a computer. So I talk to him AGAIN!!! about reading before clicking, and paying attention. He'd see that it cost money to play if he read FIRST, and notice the total in dollars go down if he'd pay attention to his surroundings more. I decided that since he's going on another year older in only two weeks, he's got to learn more responsibility. If he was 4 I'd let it go at this and restrict his computer time more. But at his age, come on! So yeah, I had him pay me with HIS real-life money. He had $20 he was saving up to go to the Lego store. I took all of it. He cried and told me it was a mistake. I understand it was. And I explained that in real adult life I make mistakes that cost me money too, and I don't get that money back by crying. I learn, and I try harder next time not to do it again. And I then work harder to earn the money I lost. And he'll now do the same. He fussed that he worked hard to earn that money (only about half of which he got from another source, and the other half he earned out of my pockets to start with, though yes it was earned). I asked him, a bid shocked, "AND I DIDN'T?" I got that money from being on my feet for 6-8 hrs day, dealing customers and coffee or 25 kids who think it's a free day just 'cause it's a sub. I choice to spend part of that, MY money, on him to start with by buying him any Farmville cash. He choice to blow through it in one afternoon.
I know it was an honest mistake on his part, but he's got to learn restraint and to slow down. Mistakes still have consciences. It's really too bad instead of legos, he has nothing more than virtual pets to show for it. But maybe NOW he'll slow down and read before clicking on something that looks fun.
However, this afternoon and evening was one of those hard days to be a parent. Sometime being the grown up in the situation means being the "big bad meany". This was one of those times, as I had to teach my son a hard lesson.
Earlier, as in days ago, Farmville was having a 40% off sale on their cash. The Farmville "cash" cost real-life money, which I don't normally get, or not much of (like $5 worth as a treat). So when it was on sale, I bought $25's worth, which was normally actually $40ish dollars. My son asked if that meant he could have the virtual dog on Farmville he's wanted. I explained to him I got this "cash" on sale, but that doesn't mean he's to spend it. It's still special treats and such. I just wanted to buy it as a good deal now, then later on at full price.
When I got home from the center I volunteer at, he had a bunch of peacocks, cardinals, geese, and an owl; he also had only $2 Farmville cash left! He'd blown through all $230ish Farmville dollars, which cost me real-live $25.
As you can imagine, I was upset. I asked why he'd spent the money, and why it was down to only $2. He said he didn't know the "Mystery game" he was playing cost the Farmville cash. This is not the first time he's clicked on stuff before reading, and we've talked about how dangerous that can be on a computer. So I talk to him AGAIN!!! about reading before clicking, and paying attention. He'd see that it cost money to play if he read FIRST, and notice the total in dollars go down if he'd pay attention to his surroundings more. I decided that since he's going on another year older in only two weeks, he's got to learn more responsibility. If he was 4 I'd let it go at this and restrict his computer time more. But at his age, come on! So yeah, I had him pay me with HIS real-life money. He had $20 he was saving up to go to the Lego store. I took all of it. He cried and told me it was a mistake. I understand it was. And I explained that in real adult life I make mistakes that cost me money too, and I don't get that money back by crying. I learn, and I try harder next time not to do it again. And I then work harder to earn the money I lost. And he'll now do the same. He fussed that he worked hard to earn that money (only about half of which he got from another source, and the other half he earned out of my pockets to start with, though yes it was earned). I asked him, a bid shocked, "AND I DIDN'T?" I got that money from being on my feet for 6-8 hrs day, dealing customers and coffee or 25 kids who think it's a free day just 'cause it's a sub. I choice to spend part of that, MY money, on him to start with by buying him any Farmville cash. He choice to blow through it in one afternoon.
I know it was an honest mistake on his part, but he's got to learn restraint and to slow down. Mistakes still have consciences. It's really too bad instead of legos, he has nothing more than virtual pets to show for it. But maybe NOW he'll slow down and read before clicking on something that looks fun.