oh, poo

[arwenundomiel]

it is not fun having your honeymoon interrupted by your mother's suicide. elrobeth and i only managed to do it twice and once each with estel before the tragedy struck. these old-timers are not as resilient as us younger elves. can't handle a little orc-rape or incest. >:(

now i have to do things. wait, maybe i can delegate to my handmaidens

Comments

[lordof_imladris]

...Butch and what now?

I've got a kid gnawing on my cheetos. Is it mine? I almost whacked it with the remote across the room. But then it showed me a tiara it fashioned itself out of potato stix and I almost melted into a pile of saturated fat, corn starch, and yellow #5.

SUNDANCE! YOU'VE COME TO PAPA! I AM SO HAPPY. But still mourning mah tru luv omg.

*balances baby on his big pregnant stomach*

[arwenundomiel]

well, now, that might have been this oliwraithyphaunt thingy baby that appeared in my room today. i gave it a cheeto and put it in tolman's laundry hamper.

i think yellow #5 causes cancer in non-mortals. GOOD THING YOU ARE ELFKIND OMG!

*sets out water dishes for the babies*

Re:

[lordof_imladris]

SHUSH THIS IS SUNDANCE MY GOLDEN CHILD.

Ooh water. *puts Sundance on the floor* Get it for Ada. Go on. Get it for Ada...

Aren't babies supposed to be crawling around their age? Or at least doing stuff besides sitting there drooling? I WANT A FUN BABY.

[arwenundomiel]

maybe he is um, deprived of the proper intellectual stimuli. should we send him to boarding school? but he did make that tiara! that's funn-ish?

look! we can put him on a skateboard and gently nudge it toward the water!!!

Re:

[lordof_imladris]

*weeps for Saruman and his harsh, magical boarding school*

[arwenundomiel]

maybe if we weep hard enough, he will come back?

*weeps also*

but don't send my elrofuck away!

Re:

[lordof_imladris]

*bitter mutterings etc.*

Of course not, Undummywummy! I'm going to sit here in front of the TV, comatose as always. You do whatever you want, okay? :) :) :)!

I suppose this is where my services are required...

[divaerestor]

You're a Maia now sir; I'm sure you could make the water glass levitate towards you without spilling a single cooling, refreshingly-ice cold drop.

Damn; now I'm thirsty. Estel!!!

Re: I suppose this is where my services are required...

[arwenundomiel]

*hollers*

ESTEL, TURN THE HOSE ON THE HERM ENCLOSURE!

you know, we could really use your help. surely you could cheetah-fy and leap over here, no?

[divaerestor]

*splutters*

I run really fast; I can't very well fly over the fence. Especially since the keepers installed an invisible shield over it...

[arwenundomiel]

*sighs dramatically*

i suppose i can have a word with estel about getting you dual citizenship. WOULD YOU ABUSE SUCH A PRIVILEDGE?

[divaerestor]

Dual citizenship!!

Now I can get out and stretch my legs a bit serve your father as I have for the past three or so Ages as faithfully as always.

Uh, no; the priviledge will not be abused *points at newly-added shock collar*.

Your adas will love using it.

Re: I suppose this is where my services are required...

[lordof_imladris]

Are you suggesting I abuse the Maia powers so gracefully bestowed on me by our lord and king Manwë?

[divaerestor]

It's just for a glass of water.

Should Manwe ask, tell him that the baby was on the verge of dehydration and despirately needed fluids.

Uh, in layman's terms: The baby was extremely thirsty and wouldn't stop crying, so you gave it a glass of water.

Re:

[lordof_imladris]

...*falls asleep*

[divaerestor]

...Fine.

I'll get the water myself just as soon as the dual-citizenship thingy is filled out.