Back at home
My dad is going back to Iraq again next Tuesday. 3 more days. I have been living at Jason's for the past 10 days. My dad called me Thursday night and told me I needed to come home and we were going to have a 'talk'. I want to quit ROTC. I really don't think the military is my thing, the whole get involved. I have come to the conclusion it's a fucking cult, you should see the way some of these people act. I skipped a bunch of classes and just been lying around.
So now that I am back at home, no one is here. How funny. I have been in a funny mood all day. Last time I talked to my dad, which was Thursday night, he said I looked like an elephant. So yeah...
I have no money. The bank took it all and their stupid automatic payment thing. I don't feel like going into it. All I know is I have to go fix it this week.
I feels funny hanging out with everyone. Except for Chanta, Scooby, and Jason. Probably because I see them almost everyday, but still, even then, it sometimes feels funny to hang out with them. I don't know. Maybe if I get off my lazy ass and do stuff I won't feel tired all the time. Yeah... I have been thinking about gym membership so... we'll see.
I think whatever is wrong is all in my head. Sometimes I want to tell Jason to let me go until I figure everything out. But what I really mean is I'm too comfortable with you, I need a reason to be sad and angry so I can get off my ass and do stuff. I just want to be cute housewife with him. I want a stereotypical thing with him. I know that isn't me. I really love him. Sometimes I wake next to him wishing we were 5 years older, married, ready for kids.
Yeah... I'm such a loser.
I don't know if I should leave, but sitting around here is driving me crazy. It's so quiet and I don't know when they're going to be back. I'll call Chanta, see what she's up to then probably come back home. I don't know yet.
Besides this, I think I'm doing alright in school. Midterms just passed and I'm pretty confident in saying I'm probably pulling between a high C and B in all my classes.
So now that I am back at home, no one is here. How funny. I have been in a funny mood all day. Last time I talked to my dad, which was Thursday night, he said I looked like an elephant. So yeah...
I have no money. The bank took it all and their stupid automatic payment thing. I don't feel like going into it. All I know is I have to go fix it this week.
I feels funny hanging out with everyone. Except for Chanta, Scooby, and Jason. Probably because I see them almost everyday, but still, even then, it sometimes feels funny to hang out with them. I don't know. Maybe if I get off my lazy ass and do stuff I won't feel tired all the time. Yeah... I have been thinking about gym membership so... we'll see.
I think whatever is wrong is all in my head. Sometimes I want to tell Jason to let me go until I figure everything out. But what I really mean is I'm too comfortable with you, I need a reason to be sad and angry so I can get off my ass and do stuff. I just want to be cute housewife with him. I want a stereotypical thing with him. I know that isn't me. I really love him. Sometimes I wake next to him wishing we were 5 years older, married, ready for kids.
Yeah... I'm such a loser.
I don't know if I should leave, but sitting around here is driving me crazy. It's so quiet and I don't know when they're going to be back. I'll call Chanta, see what she's up to then probably come back home. I don't know yet.
Besides this, I think I'm doing alright in school. Midterms just passed and I'm pretty confident in saying I'm probably pulling between a high C and B in all my classes.