A Treatise on Why I Shant Purchase Prince Of Persia 3
... Or at least not do so for a good long while, such that the price goes down 15 American dollars, or it becomes relegated to the "Best-Selling Playstation Games Ev4r" section of the rack, and subsequently goes down 10 dollars in price- how does that even work?
The reasoning behind this quasi-boycott shall be best explained by way of two specific, yet allegorical examples, like so:
Specific, yet allegorical example 1-
Let us, allegorically, say that you are currently in possession of a large space station, fitted with a laser of such proportion that it might destroy an entire planet, given the appropriate trajectory and time to gather power. Now, assume that you have recently discovered that there are one butt-tonne of rebellious scalliwags gathering and being up to general no-good on a nearby planet. Let us call this planet, allegorically of course, "The Sands of Time", and the rebels shall be called, equally allegorically, "Time Powers."
Now that we have our exposition, you take two years, lets allegorically say that in this world, years are called "Prince of Persia Games", to discover that the rebellious "Time Powers" are useful, popular, and interesting, and eventually to grow tired of them and position your gimongous space station, hereafter known as the "Plot Device" in such a way as to destroy not only the planet Sands of Time, but the Time Powers that reside there. At the very end of the second Prince of Persia Game, you fire the Plot Device's cannon, destroying any and all trace of not only The Sands of Time, but all the Time Powers as well. They cannot be regenerated, as they are now allegorical space dust.
You go to bed that night, with the knowledge that you will never be troubled by Time Powers again, as you have wiped any proof of the existance of The Sands of Time from face of the universe. However, you awaken the next morning to discover, to your horror, that The Sands of Time is exactly where it had been yesterday, whole, and teeming with the same Time Powers that you thought were gone forever. Not only that, but the charge 50 bucks to get in. It will take you at least another Prince of Persia Game to reposition the Space Station Plot Device to destroy them again. Welcome to Allegorical Hell.
Specific, yet allegorical example 2-
You are currently earning your living as a house painter. Popular convention in this allegorical profession, which, in this allegorical world, is allegorically known as "Making Action Games", is that one should "Make an Action Game" using only a few choice colours, which have been standard since Making Action Games came into style. These allegorical colours include, but are not limited to the, allegorically named, "No Plot", "Sloppy Physics", "Gun Duels", "Angst", "Badasses" and "Sweet Killer Moves That Do Hella Damage".
As a house painter, or a "Maker of Action Games", you decide one day during your career that every single House, or allegorically, every single "Action Game" looks the same, because all the same colours have been used in every one. In order to change it up, in what you hope will be successful innovation, you use instead the allegorical colours of "Beautiful Scenery", "Intricate Levels", "Impressive Non-Combat Acrobatics", "Meaningful Story" and "Interesting New Idea of Interacting With the Environment Using Time Control". Your wildest prayers are answered, and the public loves it! Everyone wants to purchase an Action Game which has been painted (or "Made") by you! You are hailed as an innovative genius in the field of Making Action Games, and rake in the dough, as it were.
It comes time for you to design your second line of Action Game colour ideas. You have the option of experimenting with even more different colours, possibly even more variants off of the public's personal favorite colour, "Interesting New Idea of Interacting With the Environment Using Time Control".
Rather than take a risk like attempting innovation a second time in a row, you opt, instead, to continue with your exact same colours from last season, with the exception of your extra-safe precautionary measure of introducing some colours from the Making Action Games greats of the past. Your final pallet for the new season is decided at last and it is thus: "Same Old Time Control From Last Season, Made Less Important", "Less Beauty, More Angst", "Combat, Combat, Combat", "Less Story, More Angst", and you, at the last minute, decide to slip in the colour "Sweet Killer Moves That Do Hella Damage", but a shade of it which makes it look like it is a similar colour to "Intersting New Idea", plush a dash more "Angst". Your safety net pays off, and no one (important) notices the difference! Hooray you! You make just as much money this time around, and people anxiously await your third marvel! Those who did notice you were using old colours from your previous run and the old conventions quietly grumble and await your third season, as you promised at then end of your run to never use some of your colours again, and they pray that you come up with some new, innovative colours as a result.
It comes time for your third season, and, faced with the same choices, you decide to pretend that you never promised anyone you would retire some of your old colours, and instead use them all again! And even use some more of the colour "Angst" for good measure! People still eat it up! Dissenters still quietly grumble! Go you!
And there you have it. Now I'm going to shovel the walk, then probably play some more Shadow of the Colossus. EAT THAT, NAMELESS PRINCE!!
The reasoning behind this quasi-boycott shall be best explained by way of two specific, yet allegorical examples, like so:
Specific, yet allegorical example 1-
Let us, allegorically, say that you are currently in possession of a large space station, fitted with a laser of such proportion that it might destroy an entire planet, given the appropriate trajectory and time to gather power. Now, assume that you have recently discovered that there are one butt-tonne of rebellious scalliwags gathering and being up to general no-good on a nearby planet. Let us call this planet, allegorically of course, "The Sands of Time", and the rebels shall be called, equally allegorically, "Time Powers."
Now that we have our exposition, you take two years, lets allegorically say that in this world, years are called "Prince of Persia Games", to discover that the rebellious "Time Powers" are useful, popular, and interesting, and eventually to grow tired of them and position your gimongous space station, hereafter known as the "Plot Device" in such a way as to destroy not only the planet Sands of Time, but the Time Powers that reside there. At the very end of the second Prince of Persia Game, you fire the Plot Device's cannon, destroying any and all trace of not only The Sands of Time, but all the Time Powers as well. They cannot be regenerated, as they are now allegorical space dust.
You go to bed that night, with the knowledge that you will never be troubled by Time Powers again, as you have wiped any proof of the existance of The Sands of Time from face of the universe. However, you awaken the next morning to discover, to your horror, that The Sands of Time is exactly where it had been yesterday, whole, and teeming with the same Time Powers that you thought were gone forever. Not only that, but the charge 50 bucks to get in. It will take you at least another Prince of Persia Game to reposition the Space Station Plot Device to destroy them again. Welcome to Allegorical Hell.
Specific, yet allegorical example 2-
You are currently earning your living as a house painter. Popular convention in this allegorical profession, which, in this allegorical world, is allegorically known as "Making Action Games", is that one should "Make an Action Game" using only a few choice colours, which have been standard since Making Action Games came into style. These allegorical colours include, but are not limited to the, allegorically named, "No Plot", "Sloppy Physics", "Gun Duels", "Angst", "Badasses" and "Sweet Killer Moves That Do Hella Damage".
As a house painter, or a "Maker of Action Games", you decide one day during your career that every single House, or allegorically, every single "Action Game" looks the same, because all the same colours have been used in every one. In order to change it up, in what you hope will be successful innovation, you use instead the allegorical colours of "Beautiful Scenery", "Intricate Levels", "Impressive Non-Combat Acrobatics", "Meaningful Story" and "Interesting New Idea of Interacting With the Environment Using Time Control". Your wildest prayers are answered, and the public loves it! Everyone wants to purchase an Action Game which has been painted (or "Made") by you! You are hailed as an innovative genius in the field of Making Action Games, and rake in the dough, as it were.
It comes time for you to design your second line of Action Game colour ideas. You have the option of experimenting with even more different colours, possibly even more variants off of the public's personal favorite colour, "Interesting New Idea of Interacting With the Environment Using Time Control".
Rather than take a risk like attempting innovation a second time in a row, you opt, instead, to continue with your exact same colours from last season, with the exception of your extra-safe precautionary measure of introducing some colours from the Making Action Games greats of the past. Your final pallet for the new season is decided at last and it is thus: "Same Old Time Control From Last Season, Made Less Important", "Less Beauty, More Angst", "Combat, Combat, Combat", "Less Story, More Angst", and you, at the last minute, decide to slip in the colour "Sweet Killer Moves That Do Hella Damage", but a shade of it which makes it look like it is a similar colour to "Intersting New Idea", plush a dash more "Angst". Your safety net pays off, and no one (important) notices the difference! Hooray you! You make just as much money this time around, and people anxiously await your third marvel! Those who did notice you were using old colours from your previous run and the old conventions quietly grumble and await your third season, as you promised at then end of your run to never use some of your colours again, and they pray that you come up with some new, innovative colours as a result.
It comes time for your third season, and, faced with the same choices, you decide to pretend that you never promised anyone you would retire some of your old colours, and instead use them all again! And even use some more of the colour "Angst" for good measure! People still eat it up! Dissenters still quietly grumble! Go you!
And there you have it. Now I'm going to shovel the walk, then probably play some more Shadow of the Colossus. EAT THAT, NAMELESS PRINCE!!