Epiphany
After much deliberation, I think I've decided NOT to go to Medical School.
My whole life, people have been telling me that I'm lucky or blessed; that I can be or do anything that I want to. In some ways, this has hindered me, as I've become quite the perfectionist and likely have stifled my own creativity in the meantime. I don't do well with failure because I haven't often experienced it, and thus often avoid fields of interest that are perhaps a bit more subjectively critiqued in favor of paths that for the most part guarantee some measure of success when approached with academic prowess (whew, long sentence). I still love the arts, but I often feel unsure of my talents and don't spend as much time practicing them as I would like (which in and of itself assures that I won't likely improve)... even though I feel that they are therapeutic for me and I have a fair amount of natural talent for drawing and photography.
Despite my ability to succeed in most academic fields I approach, I have never felt particularly passionate about any one subject I have studied. The subjects I thoroughly enjoy are those that will probably never result in much monetary gain if I were to pursue them (Philosophy, Sociology, Religious Studies)... or lead to jobs that have elements that I do not think I would enjoy (Psychology-- dealing with people's problems all day, Neurology-- dealing mostly with patients who will never be cured, Pharmacology-- standing behind a counter doling out drugs all day, no intellectual stimulation).
So, I thought... "I know I could go through Medical School and have a prestigious, high-paying, intellectually stimulating career where I could deal with people. Since I don't have any other ideas about what I'd like to do.. let's shoot for that."
The prerequisites are daunting, however, especially since I decided this in my Junior year of undergraduate school. 2 years of Chemistry, 1 year of Physics, 1 year of Biology with recommended courses in Genetics, Biochemistry, Microbiology, and Anatomy. Considering it will take a year to finish up my B.A. in Psychology, this would add an extra couple years to my undergraduate schooling. Yuck.
I read through many people's experiences with Medical School, and the horrors they encountered. I thought that maybe I could buckle down and just get through it. It's only 4 years, and then 4 years of Residency. Considering that I am quite the procrastinator and it's just not in my nature to study constantly, it would be difficult, but I thought that maybe I could discipline myself.
Then, I searched for "Is it worth it to go to Medical School" on Google and studied people's responses in a forum. Granted, those that have horrible experiences are more likely to speak up than those that didn't, but what I saw really made me think.
There were people on there that reminded me much of myself, and who never really had a passion for Biomedical Science, which is most of what you study at Medical School. They had similar lines of thought--- that they could buckle down, grit their teeth, and get through it. Some of them were about two years into Medical School with $100,000 in debt before they realized that they hated it, and they didn't want to do it anymore (but had no choice as they wanted a high-paying job to pay off the accrued debt). Many urged readers to consider their interests and their motives, and if they are really willing to give up 8-12 years of their life for this. Many had sacrificed relationships because of the long hours and stress.
This, in particular, made me think:
"Don't gloss over that if you're hoping that the intangibles, or the money, power, and chicks, will somehow make it all worthwhile even though you'd rather be sailing. Medicine is not for people who'd rather be sailing."
I WOULD rather be sailing. I would much rather be backpacking across Europe, taking photographs, camping, and be having fun with my life. I really don't think I'm willing to sacrifice some of my best years for a career I'm not really that interested in.
Now if only I knew what I really WOULD like to do......
Also, on a completely different note, Jer is in San Francisco for a week and I'm all alone at my place. It's strange and lonely. I miss him :( But I suppose it allows me to focus a bit more on my studies, as my finals are on Saturday (although the computer has come to be perhaps more of a distraction than Jer today :P).
My whole life, people have been telling me that I'm lucky or blessed; that I can be or do anything that I want to. In some ways, this has hindered me, as I've become quite the perfectionist and likely have stifled my own creativity in the meantime. I don't do well with failure because I haven't often experienced it, and thus often avoid fields of interest that are perhaps a bit more subjectively critiqued in favor of paths that for the most part guarantee some measure of success when approached with academic prowess (whew, long sentence). I still love the arts, but I often feel unsure of my talents and don't spend as much time practicing them as I would like (which in and of itself assures that I won't likely improve)... even though I feel that they are therapeutic for me and I have a fair amount of natural talent for drawing and photography.
Despite my ability to succeed in most academic fields I approach, I have never felt particularly passionate about any one subject I have studied. The subjects I thoroughly enjoy are those that will probably never result in much monetary gain if I were to pursue them (Philosophy, Sociology, Religious Studies)... or lead to jobs that have elements that I do not think I would enjoy (Psychology-- dealing with people's problems all day, Neurology-- dealing mostly with patients who will never be cured, Pharmacology-- standing behind a counter doling out drugs all day, no intellectual stimulation).
So, I thought... "I know I could go through Medical School and have a prestigious, high-paying, intellectually stimulating career where I could deal with people. Since I don't have any other ideas about what I'd like to do.. let's shoot for that."
The prerequisites are daunting, however, especially since I decided this in my Junior year of undergraduate school. 2 years of Chemistry, 1 year of Physics, 1 year of Biology with recommended courses in Genetics, Biochemistry, Microbiology, and Anatomy. Considering it will take a year to finish up my B.A. in Psychology, this would add an extra couple years to my undergraduate schooling. Yuck.
I read through many people's experiences with Medical School, and the horrors they encountered. I thought that maybe I could buckle down and just get through it. It's only 4 years, and then 4 years of Residency. Considering that I am quite the procrastinator and it's just not in my nature to study constantly, it would be difficult, but I thought that maybe I could discipline myself.
Then, I searched for "Is it worth it to go to Medical School" on Google and studied people's responses in a forum. Granted, those that have horrible experiences are more likely to speak up than those that didn't, but what I saw really made me think.
There were people on there that reminded me much of myself, and who never really had a passion for Biomedical Science, which is most of what you study at Medical School. They had similar lines of thought--- that they could buckle down, grit their teeth, and get through it. Some of them were about two years into Medical School with $100,000 in debt before they realized that they hated it, and they didn't want to do it anymore (but had no choice as they wanted a high-paying job to pay off the accrued debt). Many urged readers to consider their interests and their motives, and if they are really willing to give up 8-12 years of their life for this. Many had sacrificed relationships because of the long hours and stress.
This, in particular, made me think:
"Don't gloss over that if you're hoping that the intangibles, or the money, power, and chicks, will somehow make it all worthwhile even though you'd rather be sailing. Medicine is not for people who'd rather be sailing."
I WOULD rather be sailing. I would much rather be backpacking across Europe, taking photographs, camping, and be having fun with my life. I really don't think I'm willing to sacrifice some of my best years for a career I'm not really that interested in.
Now if only I knew what I really WOULD like to do......
Also, on a completely different note, Jer is in San Francisco for a week and I'm all alone at my place. It's strange and lonely. I miss him :( But I suppose it allows me to focus a bit more on my studies, as my finals are on Saturday (although the computer has come to be perhaps more of a distraction than Jer today :P).