so does Chris Pine have a theme song now?
I have a new buddy in the Arabian sandbox, khaleesian, who quotes everyone from Tennyson to Tupac and has Russian talent, whatever that might entail, at her disposal. Scary and smart! And excited about things like driving a car and living in more than 850 square feet after several years in London, so I really ought to stop harshing her buzz. It'll be all mint lime juices and balmy summer nights from here on out, promise.
We met up to see This Means War last weekend, and honestly I think the movie would have a higher rating on Rotten Tomatoes (26%) if it had been marketed to the right audience. Which as far as I can tell are slash fans and social anthropologists.
So action movies are usually written by men, and romantic comedies are usually written by Nora Ephron women. But this movie was made, best I can tell, as a social experiment where they brought in two writers, and told the man to write the romantic comedy bit, and the woman to write the action. Which resulted in the married couple eating nachos during sex (which is just SUCH an obvious guy fantasy) and the world's most violent bout of paintball as seduction technique, while the action scenes were, in balance, evenly split between bromance and shooting bad guys. Except for the time they fought instead of hugged it out all over a restaurant about a girl, but really it was them being angry at each other trying to say "Can't you see how you've hurt meeeeeee" with their fists.
This is the movie you watch when reading between the lines is just too much effort. Here, have some more specifics:
"The real love story is between Chris Pine and Tom Hardy. They compare penis size. They walk away from hot ladies to beat the shit out of guys while gazing into each others' eyes ... The two men talk about love and commitment - you know, what guys actually talk about? ... Hardy's character actually says 'I would take a bullet for you, I love you, you know ... you know what we have, together ... don't you want that with a woman?' Of course, Pine answers in the negative ... Even the inevitable fight between them brims with sexual tension, while any makeout scene with the girl is more awkward and forced than the explanation any guy in the audience will have for their date about where their erection came from." -Ruthless Reviews
Basically, we spent the film alternating between:
and
Ah, Benedict Cumberbatch. Truly a man for all seasons.
We met up to see This Means War last weekend, and honestly I think the movie would have a higher rating on Rotten Tomatoes (26%) if it had been marketed to the right audience. Which as far as I can tell are slash fans and social anthropologists.
So action movies are usually written by men, and romantic comedies are usually written by Nora Ephron women. But this movie was made, best I can tell, as a social experiment where they brought in two writers, and told the man to write the romantic comedy bit, and the woman to write the action. Which resulted in the married couple eating nachos during sex (which is just SUCH an obvious guy fantasy) and the world's most violent bout of paintball as seduction technique, while the action scenes were, in balance, evenly split between bromance and shooting bad guys. Except for the time they fought instead of hugged it out all over a restaurant about a girl, but really it was them being angry at each other trying to say "Can't you see how you've hurt meeeeeee" with their fists.
This is the movie you watch when reading between the lines is just too much effort. Here, have some more specifics:
"The real love story is between Chris Pine and Tom Hardy. They compare penis size. They walk away from hot ladies to beat the shit out of guys while gazing into each others' eyes ... The two men talk about love and commitment - you know, what guys actually talk about? ... Hardy's character actually says 'I would take a bullet for you, I love you, you know ... you know what we have, together ... don't you want that with a woman?' Of course, Pine answers in the negative ... Even the inevitable fight between them brims with sexual tension, while any makeout scene with the girl is more awkward and forced than the explanation any guy in the audience will have for their date about where their erection came from." -Ruthless Reviews
Basically, we spent the film alternating between:
and
Ah, Benedict Cumberbatch. Truly a man for all seasons.