(no subject)
I realize...that maybe I am a true actress after all. In my life I strive for the dramatic. My interactions, my work, my hobbies. They all revolve around the concept of drama. Now I'm not talking about getting into fights ever thirty seconds. I'm talking about flinging my emotions to the extreme in any situation. I'm sarcastic when I'm in a good mood. When I'm sad, I'm depressed. When I'm happy, I'm joyful. When I'm upset, I'm enraged. When I'm in pain, I'm in agony. And most of the time, I know I'm exaggerating when I'm doing. I'm not particularly put down by this. I'm just making an observation. I have no problem of it. I just know that I'm acting almost all the time. Except when I'm alone. When I'm alone, that feeling of the dramatic, and the theatre goes away. I'm bland, and quiet. I don't know if this happens to you, but when I'm alone, and I'm watching something funny, I know it's funny, but I don't laugh. Do you ever really laugh when you're by yourself unless something is extremely humorous? Perhaps laughter is another way for humans to speak to another. Laughing by yourself happens for me almost as often as me talking to myself. It happens, but so rarely it dosn't spark a thought.
I was thinking about lonliness the other day. What constitutes lonliness? How can it be cured? What type of people do you have to have in your life so you don't feel lonely? I personally have wonderful friends, a great dad, and an exquisite love. But most of the time I just feel....alone. I'm generally happy with my life and the way it's going. I'm doing good in school, I have no family troubles, I have a really nice job, and a fabulous boyfriend. But...perhaps there's something missing? Or are we all just striving for something that can't be had? These are all questions I ask myself. Maybe the worst thing about humans IS our ability to formulate thought. Imagine how perfect our world would be if there were no greed, no love, no technology. We would just be beasts roaming the earth with only thoughts of food and procreation on the mind. But then what kind of life would that be?
I'm so eager to be fully independant. Perhaps that's what I need.
I was thinking about lonliness the other day. What constitutes lonliness? How can it be cured? What type of people do you have to have in your life so you don't feel lonely? I personally have wonderful friends, a great dad, and an exquisite love. But most of the time I just feel....alone. I'm generally happy with my life and the way it's going. I'm doing good in school, I have no family troubles, I have a really nice job, and a fabulous boyfriend. But...perhaps there's something missing? Or are we all just striving for something that can't be had? These are all questions I ask myself. Maybe the worst thing about humans IS our ability to formulate thought. Imagine how perfect our world would be if there were no greed, no love, no technology. We would just be beasts roaming the earth with only thoughts of food and procreation on the mind. But then what kind of life would that be?
I'm so eager to be fully independant. Perhaps that's what I need.