Comments | artoflabor: discipline.

artoflabor

discipline.

Dec 07, 2008 23:13

Prompt: Describe a memory of pain from your childhood.- “Memories of pain?” Are you fishing here, brother? Are you looking for some heartfelt confession about how step-daddy beat me, and about how Mommy slept around? Do you wanna see my voice start to crack, my eyes get watery, maybe a little hair-petting afterward and group hugs ( Read more... )

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campjesus December 8 2008, 04:36:17 UTC

You should have been here last year when I asked why people think this is a big deal and everyone shit their pants.

artoflabor December 8 2008, 05:01:51 UTC

Because every time a parent hits a kid, it's with a red hot poker and done with hate in their heart.

campjesus December 8 2008, 05:08:18 UTC

And all children are well-behaved angels who are never little shits who get out of line. And also understand adult logic!

artoflabor December 8 2008, 05:13:37 UTC

The funny thing is, those are the people whose kids always turn out to be the most fucked-up, mentally. And then they go get jobs on Wall Street and fuck up our country.

campjesus December 8 2008, 05:24:37 UTC

You have no excuse to not know how to parent if you're rich anyway.

You don't even know how many "my daddy beat me baaaaw" stories I have to deal with all the time. And be sympathetic, and not, like... "well, were you a douchebag?"

artoflabor December 8 2008, 05:35:28 UTC

That's what nannies are for.

I think I got an idea. I mean, for some reason I always end up fucking the "my suburban soul is a tortured abyss" girls.

plus i get to mooch off the coke bought with daddy's money

campjesus December 8 2008, 06:19:15 UTC

Also drugs.

I can't even... deal with anyone under the age of 25. It's all "MY MOM DIDN'T LET ME GO TO THE MY CHEM CONCERT I'M BEING EMOTIONALLY ABUSED."

artoflabor December 9 2008, 03:25:15 UTC

I wager that letting your kid go to a My Chem concert counts as emotional abuse.

campjesus December 9 2008, 03:36:31 UTC

But nothing expresses my angst like generic, talentless pop-rock*!

* You shut up, you're old.

artoflabor December 9 2008, 03:43:24 UTC

Years of getting too close to the amps doesn't prevent me from calling shit shit when I hear it.

campjesus December 9 2008, 03:50:23 UTC

but can jimmy see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch?

artoflabor December 9 2008, 03:53:49 UTC

... because kids are crack fiends for sugar?

campjesus December 9 2008, 03:54:55 UTC

IT'S BECAUSE THERE'S SWIRLS OF SUGARY ANGST IN EVERY BITE

artoflabor December 9 2008, 04:01:49 UTC

Whatever. I'm gonna go smoke a bowl with my man Booberry.

( ... )

campjesus December 9 2008, 04:03:13 UTC

we are divided in our preference for breakfast cereal. as a baby bat i am only permitted to consume count chocula.

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