if i could catch my breath, just to exhale...

Jul 20, 2006 12:14

Well. I have been in Davis for nearly 2 weeks. It's been a tad bit up and down...revelatory, intense, passionate, funny, random, exhausting...and aside from one grotesque fact, I would like to say that things have never been better.

Grotesque fact: My cat, Muffin, passed away on Monday morning. She had a massive heart attack the day before her 10th birthday. It was an enormous shock and I have passed progressively through stages of shock, hysterical grief, angry sadness, temperamental melancholy, more hysterical grief, and sort of an exhausted unhappiness. I take death very hard in general, and feel very, very close to my pets. This one was a shock and hit me really REALLY hard. Atleast we didn't have to watch her suffer and deteriorate in misery like our first two cats, who had cancer and a tumor. But still. I'm going to miss the softest cat I've ever pet, the blue eyes, the loud and incessant meowing, her deep rumbling purr, her snoring you could hear all the way across the room, the way she bonked her head on everything in sight when she wanted to be pet, and her warm kitty smell when i needed comfort and would throw myself on her and bury my face in her fur. My beautiful girl...my beautiful baby kitten...

However, in all other respects, life rules. I'm finding out what it is to be with someone who both loves you AND respects you. Who feels, after a disagreement, instead of put off, that you're so much stronger, cause whatever it was that upset you both revealed something about you both as well. Who genuinely wants to see you happy, who listens, and remembers, and really understands. Someone who is quietly taking by storm every corner of your heart and mind. 
He's the best thing that ever happened to me.
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