Jan 14, 2005 16:16
I set the phone down on its cradle. I could only stand there, my body unwilling to move for what seemed like an eternity.
Buffy was gone.
This was something I’d experienced before. When Willow showed up I just knew, the look on her face. Dawn’s small voice haunted my mind, my heart.
I’d never gotten to say goodbye. Not the first time and not this time. I could remember with perfect clarity how perfectly she fit into my arms. Her small frame resting against mine, coldness against warmth.
My entire world had been shattered when Buffy had died. And then she’d come back, and as happy as it made me, selfishly speaking, I’d known the moment I saw her that she was miserable.
Willow had brought her back from heaven; they’d actually assumed that Buffy would go anywhere else. Foolish children, that is all they’d ever been, intentions were pure but the rational thought had been less than active. They were selfish; as I had been when I found out she was back. The hope of gaining my humanity with something to show for it had been restored.
But that was gone once again. With her life so fragile despite the power she possessed. Taken by a stupid man. Buffy was suppose to die in battle, as a true hero was meant to, as she had in the beginning, sacrificing herself for those she loved. Not by some … child with a gun.
I moved, finally, grabbing the axe I’d discarded before and finding myself in a blind rage, inhuman screams as I took out my anger and heartbreak on anything within reach in the hotel.
I don’t know how long my destruction continued but I finally stopped, my body shaking in rage, I looked around the tattered lobby and sighed. I had to get control of myself, I would be no good to anyone acting like a child.
I picked up the phone and dialed the number I’d been trying to forget.
“Wes. It’s Angel. I need your help.”
I explained everything that had been happening the last few days to him. He was definitely the last person I wanted to put my trust in at that moment, but the only one I could rely on. He’d go to Cordelia, find Connor and take over my duties for a while.
I hung up the phone with him with a heavy heart. He’d lost my trust and this was his chance to regain it. I only hoped I wouldn’t regret lending it to him again.
I rushed upstairs to change and found myself in that old black drop top heading towards the women’s prision.
Once I got there it took me a little longer than expected to convince the gaurds I needed to speak with Faith. I was lucky they knew me and owed me a little more than they were willing to admit.
I stood out by the fence, the moon settling its unearthly glow down on the ugly buildings. It wasn’t too long till a tired Faith walking towards me on the otherside of the fence. When she noticed who was waiting for her I saw her pace quicken.
“Hey.” I said.
What was I suppose to say anyway? This wasn’t exactly the kind of thing I’d been planning to do today.
I tried to hide the bruises on my fists from my unhealthy fight with the Hyperion lobby.