Nightingale Ch. 6
TITLE: Nightingale (chapter 6)
AUTHOR: thechameleonnn, clownfrogg
PAIRINGS: Castiel/Dean
WORD COUNT: 5,538
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: AU. Dean is a nurse, Cas is a cop. Cas is shot in the shoulder and Dean nurses him back to health. In the months that transpire, they become good friends and fall in love. However, happiness always comes at a cost for Dean Winchester...
Taylor picked Dean up at seven o'clock sharp, catching him right as he finished up his shift. Dean was energetic; excited, and it took almost all his willpower to keep still in his seat as Taylor drove them to the AC/DC concert. He’d only dreamed about what it would be like to see one of his favorite bands on stage in front of him, playing his favorite songs.
When they reached the venue, Dean shoved his way to the front of the pit, leaving Taylor to fight his way up after him. The crowd surged with energy and Dean watched, enthralled by his fellow fans, and unable to keep from whipping his head up at every movement and sound that came from backstage. Taylor was amused by Dean's enthusiasm; the show hadn't even started yet.
“Here,” Taylor pushed a wet plastic cup filled to the brim with some shitty but expensive beer into Dean’s hand, which was accepted gladly. He’d already had a couple before the show and felt his first-date-jitters melt away as the alcohol warmed his belly.
Suddenly, the first guitar chord rang out and the band came into view, lights popping and dry ice curling off the stage in cool wisps. Dean's eyes lit up and remained glued to the sight ahead of him; but Taylor's eyes stayed on Dean. He pressed a little closer, and maybe Dean was too engrossed to notice, but he didn't pull away.
“Are you ready to rock?” Brian Johnson’s voice thundered through the stadium and Dean screamed out his excitement with the rest of the crowd. Taylor looped an arm around his waist from behind as the first song started up, loud and strong, accompanied by pyrotechnics. Dean pumped his fists in the air, his hips moving with the music. Taylor smirked and held on, pressing tighter against him. He laughed when Dean shoved the half-empty beer cup back into his hands and sang along to Highway to Hell. He cheered loudly when Angus Young stripped down to his boxers and mooned the audience. That really cracked him up, and he turned to look at Taylor, his eyes sparkling happily.
“This is so awesome!” He gushed.
Then, Taylor leaned in and kissed him.
Dean's whole body froze up. But Taylor’s lips were soft, and the adrenaline and alcohol were wreaking havoc on his judgment. Somehow, his hands found their way into Taylor's jacket and suddenly their chests were pressed together, and Taylor chuckled darkly, lowly, against Dean’s mouth. In a brief moment of panic, Dean pulled back and glanced around, but no one seemed to care about the two guys making out. Crisis averted. So, he leaned in for more.
Pop, bang! Dean jumped sharply, looking back to the stage as fireworks exploded above them. "Holy crap!" he exclaimed, giddy and enthralled. He turned back towards the show, mesmerized. Taylor stayed close, his arms sliding around Dean's waist as he pressed against him from behind. Dean only leaned back into his embrace. He was feeling pretty damn good, loose and relaxed from all the alcohol and excitement.
By the end of the night, Dean was hoarse from all the singing and screaming, his throat aching and dry, but he didn’t care. He strolled down the street towards the Impala, high on adrenaline and rock n’ roll.
Dean had such a good time, he agreed to a second date.
Taylor took him to an auto race, and they drank beer and placed bets. If Dean won, he'd get fifty bucks, but Taylor only asked for a third date. Car number five, that was gonna be the one to net Dean his sweet moolah. But when the car skidded off the track and crashed into the wall on the final lap, Taylor shot a triumphant smirk towards Dean and Dean brooded silently in his defeat.
“Wanna grab some pie at the diner?” Taylor said, catching Dean’s hand as they left the track. Dean squeezed Taylor’s hand, his stomach doing a flip. Hell, if he got pie out of this, dating a dude might not be so bad after all…
A few weeks rolled by and they kept dating in secret. Dean was too embarrassed to admit it to anyone and let Cas continue to believe he was dating a woman. He was still spending most of his free time with the grouchy cop, but it was less and less, the closer he got with Taylor. Dean had to admit the doctor was growing on him a bit, but he still wasn't sure if he was gay. It was uncomfortable and he felt ashamed. His dad would never have approved of this, surely, but Dean didn't really know. It had been years since he'd seen John, but he still had this sinking feeling that his father wouldn't want his son to turn out a queer. All Dean had ever wanted was to make him proud.
Yet, despite his reservations, Dean couldn’t deny how good it felt to be making out with Taylor in the backseat of his Dodge Challenger on their fifth…no, sixth date. Dean hadn’t realized just how toned Taylor’s body was until the doctor had him pinned under his solid, muscular frame.
Dean had always been confident about himself in the bedroom; he tried very hard to please the women he’d been with in the past, and never really had any complaints lodged against him. But as good as he was at pleasing the ladies, he found himself at a loss when it came to being with Taylor. He suddenly didn’t know where to put his hands or what dirty things he ought to say to spice up the mood. He felt like a blushing school girl when Taylor wedged between his legs and cupped his ass. He was mortified by the sound of his voice and the soft moans he made when Taylor squeezed and kneaded at him.
But he was even more surprised by how much he was enjoying himself. How, whenever Taylor walked by him in the hospital and winked at him, that warm spike of arousal would pool in the pit of his stomach. How much he looked forward to stealing secret kisses in the break room or the locker room or coma guy’s room or the supply closet.
Yeah, he decided as he leaned his head back so Taylor could kiss over his throat, being with a dude is pretty hot.
* * *
After a particularly long and grueling day, made extra obnoxious by Taylor's ill-timed flirting, Dean was finally heading home. He strolled through the parking lot, exhausted, his bag slung over his shoulder with his hospital scrubs inside.
A police siren whooped a couple times behind him, followed by a deep, gravelly voice magnified over the speaker.
"Dean Winchester, you are under arrest."
Dean turned to see Cas drive his police cruiser up beside him, leaning out the window with a grin. "Hello, Dean." It drew a pout to Dean's lips, and he leaned down to the window with a scowl, trying to hide his amusement.
"You're embarrassing me." He shoved his bag in through the window at Cas’s face.
"Assault with a deadly weapon--" The receiver was snatched out of his hand.
"Cas wears ladies underpants!"
Cas flushed as the message rang across the parking lot. "Dean!" His face turned bright red, making Dean grin in amusement. He leaned halfway out the window now, as he reached for the walkie, swiping at the air as Dean moved further away.
A young, attractive woman looked up and turned to watch them curiously. Dean smirked and pointed in her direction. "Hey, beautiful--" He was cut off when Cas grabbed his pant-leg, yanking him closer to the cruiser, and grabbed for the walkie again.
"Get in the car. I need your help."
"Party pooper," Dean muttered, holding the prize just out of Cas' reach. "With what?"
Cas stared at him and Dean could feel those blue eyes penetrating his soul.
"Not until you stop using that,” he said.
"Whatsamatter, huh?"
"Dean, please," Cas groaned.
"Hey, you started it."
Cas snatched the walkie out of his hand. "Get in the car," he stated firmly. Dean relented and strolled around to the passenger's side to settle in. Cas dropped back into his seat, making one final announcement.
"Cas does not wear ladies underwear."
Dean snickered. The car rolled out of the parking lot and onto the street.
"Whatever you say, man. Why couldn't we take my car, by the way? I hate ridin' in this thing."
Cas was focused on the road, driving fast. He gripped the wheel, keeping the car steady. "Because we need to drive fast."
"What's the rush?" Dean asked, leaning back in his seat. Cas was pushing the speed limit now.
"The mall closes soon."
Dean quirked an eyebrow and glanced over at his friend. "What're we, teenagers?"
"You certainly behave like one." Cas switched on the siren and sped even faster, cutting and weaving through traffic with ease. Dean opened his mouth to respond, but Cas cut him off. "Look, I need you to…help me. Purchase clothing." He glanced at Dean briefly, tearing his eyes from the road. "To wear."
Dean laughed. Cas turned his eyes back to the road.
"Uh, okay. What, you forgot how to dress yourself or something?"
"Yes."
"What's the occasion?"
Cas pulled the car right up to the front entrance of the mall. Being a police officer definitely had it's perks. He glanced at Dean as he put the car in park.
"I got a credit card," he said, and then glanced away. "It came in the mail today." He pushed open the door and got out of the car. Dean followed beside him as he headed into the mall. Cas pulled the shiny new card out of his pocket, and Dean immediately snatched it from his fingers.
"Livin' the high life, huh. Sweet." Dean turned the card over in his hands, examining it. "Let's get crackin’, then!”
Six stores and five hundred dollars later, and Dean sat on Cas' bed, sorting through the clothes as Cas changed in the bathroom. He was taking a really long time, and it was making Dean impatient.
"Come on, lemme see," he grumbled, and headed into the bathroom, shoving the door open wide. Cas stood at the sink, dressed in dark jeans, a blue button down, and a bitchin' black leather jacket that Dean had chosen for him. Dean had to admit, he didn't look half bad. Cas's eyes were a little wide as he looked up at the sound of the door creaking open. He was in the middle of fussing with his hair, and it looked absolutely ridiculous. Dean chortled and closed the space between them, running his hands through Cas's hair to remedy the situation.
"What did you do?" Dean asked, amused. Cas looked at him helplessly. "What are you even doing your hair for now, huh? We just got back. You goin' somewhere?"
"Yes." Cas answered tersely. Dean chuckled, pleased.
"Cool. Where we goin'?"
"Ah..." Cas started. He shifted uncomfortably.
Dean smirked. "Strip club?"
"No."
"Where then?" Dean pushed.
"For a drink." Cas sighed deeply, glancing at himself in the mirror. Dean pulled back, inspecting Cas's unruly locks. He pushed him to sit down on the toilet lid and used his fingers to give it some style. Cas pushed back, though and stood abruptly, nose-to-nose with Dean. Dean rolled his eyes, pushed at his shoulders.
"Hey. I wasn't done."
"There's this girl," Cas started quickly, still quite uneasy. Dean tilted his head a bit, intrigued.
"What?"
"A girl..." Cas cleared his throat, shook his head and corrected himself. "Woman."
Dean didn't understand where he was going with this. "Okay... and?"
"And...I'm supposed to be taking her out. Tonight." Cas responded, watching Dean's face. Dean took a step back.
"A date?"
"That's what I said, yes."
Dean folded his arms and raised an eyebrow, looking Cas over from head to toe, then back up again. Then he leaned in and ruffled Cas’s hair, spitefully destroying the work he had done. Cas scowled and pushed Dean's hands away.
"Stop that."
"Make me." What a smart-ass. Cas did not look pleased. He turned back to the mirror to fix the damage, getting more pomade on his hands. Dean nudged him again, making Cas turn to confront him.
"What is your problem?" he grunted. Dean shrugged coolly.
"No problem. How come you waited so long to tell me?"
Cas shrugged. His voice was much smaller this time. "You've told me nothing about the person you're dating. I thought it was something we just don't talk about."
Dean shrugged that off. He definitely wasn't about to tell Cas he was dating a dude. He had to focus the attention back on Cas, fast. "Well, it's not serious." He paused, thought quickly. "You, uh, on the other hand..." he said, "You look nervous as hell, so that means you gotta like her a lot."
"Nn…yes." Cas fixed his hair and inspected himself in the mirror. "No," he amended quickly. Dean rolled his eyes.
"Don't bullshit me."
"It's just...Normally, I don't date." Grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste, Cas bent over the sink. He squeezed a small amount onto the tip of the brush and started to scrub his teeth.
"Yeah, okay. Well, you shoulda told me, Casanova," Dean jabbed at him playfully. Cas seemed irritated again.
"Why does it matter?" He asked around a mouthful of toothpaste.
"Because you're my friend?" Dean looked at him incredulously. The word 'duh' may as well have been written all over his face. Cas spit into the sink.
"Well, I just told you," Cas muttered.
"Took you long enough, though. You-- that's why you wanted new clothes. You dick!" Dean slapped Cas's shoulder, making him turn in surprise.
"Why are you angry?"
"I'm not! Just surprised. You said you never date."
"No. I have casual sex."
Dean almost choked without anything to even choke on. His face turned red and he laughed. "You what? Well, this is a date, Romeo! What makes her so special that you're not just gonna try to put your pig in her blanket?"
A sigh escaped Cas's lips. He rinsed his mouth and ran the water, sending the paste swirling down into the drain. "Remember the other day, when I told you about that attempted bank robbery?"
"Uh-huh."
"She was the teller I rescued." Cas placed his toothbrush gingerly in the holder, then turned back to adjust his hair once more.
"Ooooooh." Dean dragged out the syllable, being extra annoying about it. "She must want your dick real bad, then."
Cas just rolled his eyes, muttered a maybe. Dean reached out and flattened down Cas's hair. "Totally."
Cas pushed his arm away again, fixed his hair, and strode from the room quickly. Dean followed after him like an obedient puppy, but before he could open his mouth to badger Cas some more about his date, Cas turned suddenly and spoke up.
"Can I..." he started, then he sighed and started over. "If you're not too annoyed with me, could I borrow your car? Just for tonight?"
Dean's expression darkened considerably. He looked like someone had just spoken offense about his mother.
"I'll leave you the keys to my cruiser..." Cas pulled them from his pants pocket, but Dean's face didn't change.
"You've gotta be kidding."
Cas just stared at him with those big blue eyes, offering the keys to his friend. "Please."
It didn't change Dean's expression much, but he was looking a bit less angry and a little more thoughtfully. Still, he didn't look too keen on letting Cas take his baby on a date; the thought of him dirtying her up with that bank teller just left a sour taste in his mouth. But before he could even negotiate the Car Sex Rules, Cas's fist closed around the keys, he looked agitated.
"Forget it," he muttered, as he headed out the door. "Help yourself if you decide to stay." He slammed it behind him, leaving Dean startled and maybe a little bummed about the whole ordeal. He grumbled in his annoyance, sauntered over to the couch, and flopped down.
Let the brooding commence.
* * *
Cas didn't come home until three AM. When he stumbled inside, his clothes a little rumpled and his hair tousled, Dean was stretched out on the couch, stuffing his face with snacks and littering his coffee table with junk food wrappers. He heard the door open and straightened up, looking over the back of the couch.
"Woah, look what the cat dragged in!"
"Hello." Cas shut the door and leaned back against it, exhausted.
"Well?” Dean asked, impatient. It elicited a soft sigh from Cas. “How’d it go?”
"She's married. Separated." He looked disappointed. "We went to her house after dinner and drinks. She asked me to sneak out the back door." Cas scrubbed a hand over his face. Dean sat up a bit straighter, and leaned over the back of the couch.
"So, you didn't fuck her?" He didn’t know why that detail was so important, but he needed the answer.
"Actually, I did. But then she made me leave."
Dean scowled. "Bitch."
Cas sighed.
"It's cool, man. Was the sex good?"
"It was okay." Cas headed into the kitchen, rummaging in the fridge.
"Gees, that sucks..." Dean mumbled, hopping up and following after Cas. He leaned back against the island, watching Cas grab a Bud and snap the cap off on the counter. He already reeked of alcohol.
"You're drunk already, huh?" Dean asked. Cas knocked the bottle back and wiped his lip off on his jacket sleeve.
"Yes." His voice was rough, like it had been soaked in whiskey all night. Dean tried to hide the shiver it gave him.
"That bad?"
Cas turned back to the fridge, grabbed a slice of leftover pie, and a fork. He dropped the container onto the kitchen table and sank onto a chair, immediately shoveling food into his mouth. Dean watched, impressed.
"Hey uh, at least one of us is getting some. I can't remember the last time I got lucky." Dean's attempt at consolation didn't really work though. Cas shot him a skeptical, bleary eye.
"Your girlfriend isn't putting out?"
"Long story. We uh... just screw around. Haven't fucked yet. I don't always fuck on the first date, you know."
Cas grunted, but didn't say anything else. He ate another huge mouthful of pie.
Dean stood there awkwardly for a minute before his phone beeped. He fished it out of his pocket, checked his message, and let a slow smirk spread over his face. Cas knocked back more beer, finishing off the slice of pie, and started in on another.
"What's up with you, man?" Dean asked as he focused on his phone, texting slowly. "You're like a wild animal."
"Hungry." Cas wasn't even talking anymore, just grunting. He was almost finished that second slice of pie, like some kind of crazy human vacuum cleaner.
"What're you, pregnant?"
Cas shot Dean a look. "It's three in the morning and I just had sex. I'm allowed to be hungry."
Dean shrugged, brought his phone closer to his nose. Cas let out that familiar sigh of annoyance.
"Are you sexting in front of me?" He finished his beer and rose from his chair, placing his plate in the sink and his bottle in the trash. Dean shrugged again.
"Perfectly innocent text messaging..."
"Bullshit," Cas interjected, sauntering out of the kitchen and back into the living room. Dean followed like a shadow once more, as Cas sat down and grabbed the TV remote.
"Well, if you wanna trade... sexting for sex, I'm down."
"Sure."
"Seriously? Weirdo."
The second Dean sat down beside him, Cas snatched the phone from his hands and started flicking through his messages. Dean started, grabbing for it in a blind panic. "Hey!"
Cas pressed a hand to Dean's chest and held him at arm's length. Flipping through the messages with his thumb, he selected a random message in the inbox from 'Joe.'
I wanna take ur clothes off baby
"You are such a liar," Cas breathed, holding the phone away as Dean grabbed for it. "Jo wants to get you naked." He kept on scrolling. Dean looked desperate, panicked, confused that Cas didn't seem too fazed that it was a man-- then he realized. He must think it was from Jo. Boobs-and-a vagina-not-a-penis-Jo.
Even still, he'd figure it out if he kept going through those messages. Dean had to get that phone back. So, he tackled Cas back onto the couch, making him let out an "oof!," though he quickly recovered and rolled them onto the floor, still clutching the phone firmly in hand. He read another text.
u want me to touch your dick?
Cas laughed and kept on scrolling. "She really sucks at this."
Dean kept reaching, he could feel the muscles in his arms straining and stretching. "Cas, gimmie the damn phone!" But Cas was relentless. He read another.
Thinkin about being inside u baby...
Cas froze and pushed Dean off, staring at the phone. He checked to see if he'd switched to the outbox instead and realized he hadn't. He tilted his head, looking over at Dean, who was beet red. He grabbed for the phone once again, but Cas held it away, looked down again. He squinted.
"Joe. With an e?" Cas gaped.
Dean, flustered, finally managed to fish the phone from Cas's hand. "Shut. Up."
"Wait... you're-- this isn't Jo, Jo?" A stunned look was possessing Cas. He tilted his head up towards Dean, watching him crawl away dejectedly. Quickly, he grabbed Dean's ankle and pulled him back. "You're dating a guy? Who is he, do I know him...?" Suddenly Cas was all questions. Dean groaned, mortified.
"No...! No!"
Upset, Cas pried the phone from Dean's clammy grasp once more. He opened the message and turned it towards Dean. "He wanted to be inside of you." His voice came out more like a growl than the English language. Dean turned his face away, embarrassed.
"Stop reading my texts."
"Who is this guy, Dean?"
"I can't believe you just read that, fuck."
Clearly, Dean wasn't going to answer him. So, Cas pressed the call button and raised the phone to his ear. Dean's eyes shot open and he lunged for Cas.
"Cas, no!"
Cas scrambled to his feet, stumbling away from Dean. The phone rang twice on the other end and then there was a soft rustling noise as Taylor picked up.
"Hey, baby," Taylor answered smoothly. Cas listened carefully, trying to recognize the voice.
"Keep talking."
Taylor was immediately thrown, that was definitely too deep to be Dean's voice. "Who's this?"
"Who's this?" Cas echoed. "Joe?" He was running circles around the coffee table now, with Dean on his tail. It wasn't a problem, he could easily outrun him.
It took Taylor a moment. "...Cas? The cop?"
"Ah, so I know you," Cas muttered triumphantly.
"I'd recognize that weird voice anywhere."
"Taylor. It all makes sense now." There was only one Joseph who was that much of a dick.
"Gimmie the phone!" Dean groaned, and was surprised when Cas tossed it to him. He fumbled and nearly dropped it. Once he caught it, he rushed out of the room, the front door slamming behind him. Startled, Cas rushed after him, not having expected Dean to leave so abruptly.
"Dean!"
When he got to the window, he could see Dean pacing outside by the front step. Cas stopped short. The phone was raised to Dean's ear, and he was speaking quickly. After just a few short seconds, he hung up and sunk down onto the stoop, dropping his face into his hands.
Cas slowly opened the front door, leaning around the edge of it awkwardly. "Joe Taylor, huh. The doctor."
"You're a prick," Dean hissed. "I can't believe you stole my phone."
"I can't believe you're dating a guy and didn't tell me," Cas fired back. Dean shook his head, his stomach twisting.
"Why the hell would I tell you? So you could flip the fuck out?"
"I'm not flipping out! I thought it was Jo. That girl!"
"You're yelling! That's flipping out."
Cas's lip curled as the jealousy flared up in his chest. "I didn't think you dated men. That's all,” he replied curly. He watched Dean rub at his eyes, saw the embarrassed heat turning his cheeks and neck pink, and Cas wondered briefly if he’d cry. He softened his voice and spoke, “It's fine, Dean. You shouldn't have been afraid to tell me."
"I'm not afraid of anything," Dean said. Cas shook his head, feeling more rejected than ever.
"Why did you lie to me?"
"I just... let you think what you wanted. I didn't lie. Not really. Kinda. I mean, no. Why would I tell you that? It's freakin' weird."
Cas scowled. "I don't think it's weird." He sunk down beside Dean, sitting on the step next to him, and clapped him on the arm affectionately. Dean turned to look at his hand, the blush from before still on his face.
"Okay, well... good," he mumbled awkwardly.
"Come inside. We can watch a movie."
Dean sighed, and rose to his feet. "No, I think I should go,” he said quietly, unable to recover from the hurt and shame that made his stomach feel weak.
“Dean-” Cas stood as well and gazed at him, willing him to stay.
“I gotta go,” Dean grunted and walked down the steps, heading for the Impala across the street. Cas watched helplessly as Dean got in, started the engine, and sped off into the night. He curled his hands into fists until he couldn’t see the taillights anymore, then trudged back up the steps and into his cold and empty apartment.
Alone.
* * *
The next day, Cas was on patrol with Balthazar, clutching the steering wheel as a headache pounding in his ears. He was hung over and downright miserable, and like hell if Baz hadn't noticed. He was starting to get a little impatient with his partner's grumpiness.
"You haven't said a bloody thing all day. I take it your date went horribly."
"I slept with a married woman. It was awful." Cas focused on the road. He was so tired, so spent. Dean liked men but he hadn't even considered Cas, and that felt like such a punch to the gut.
Baz chuckled. "So, she was rubbish."
"She was alright."
"It's pretty difficult for a woman to be bad at sex. What'd she do, try to bite off your nipples?"
"She wanted a serious emotional connection with me. I didn't really know how to please her."
"You just wanted to stick it in."
Cas brought the car to a stop as they sat in front of a red light. He sighed and glanced over at Balthazar. "She sort of just... laid still."
Baz laughed. "Wow. It's all about participation, isn't it?"
"You'd think." He turned back to the road, taking a left.
"Better luck next time." Baz reached across the seat and patted Cas on the shoulder, amused.
"I'm so hung over..." Cas groaned, pulling into the parking lot of a small convenience store.
"Mm, yes. Do complain some more. You got laid and your life is quite miserable," Baz teased. Cas rubbed his forehead.
"Yes, and then I had to sneak out while her husband came in through the front door. I'm... the back door man."
That drew another chuckle from Balthazar. "Did you do it in the back door?"
Cas scowled. Baz laughed again. "Shame, shame..."
"I need drugs."
"You're boned." Baz shuffled out of the car, then leaned down to the window. "Only because I love you."
Cas muttered his thanks as Balthazar disappeared into the store. He slumped down in his seat, closed his eyes and tried to ignore the sound of traffic whooshing by on the street behind them. He got himself a few minutes of peace before the driver's door was suddenly wrenched open and a bottle of aspirin fell into his lap.
"Scoot over, would you?" Baz was leaning over him, his police uniform shirt hanging open in a slight V, missing a couple buttons at the top. He held a bottle of water out to Cas, shaking it insistently.
Cas's hand closed around the bottle and he climbed into the passenger's seat, allowing Baz to get in and drive. He swallowed the pills down with the water quietly, keeping to himself.
Baz broke the silence as he started the car. "How are things with lover boy, then?" Cas was quiet, unresponsive. "That bad, mm?"
"If you're referring to Dean..." he looked over at his friend, "I found out that the lady he's been dating? Not a lady at all."
"Where’ve you been?" Baz snorted, pulling onto the road, and it made Cas's head snap up.
"You knew?"
"It seems kind of obvious," Baz interjected thoughtfully. Cas sat up straight, distressed.
"Please tell me you're kidding."
"I always thought he was a little crooked."
"Balthazar." Cas looked at him darkly. "Did you know he was dating Taylor or not?"
"I had no clue," Baz sighed defensively. "Don't you think I would have told you, Cassie, love?"
"I don't know." Cas relaxed into his seat, but only slightly. "I just... I don't get it."
"Exactly. Why wouldn't he go for you, then? Hm. I think maybe you need to woo him. You've got no excuse now that you know he's gay."
Cas looked weary, uncertain. "I don't know what to do."
"Just ask him to dinner."
"I can't. He's been dating this guy for three weeks. I thought the presents would've worked. I've been sending him stuff for the past year." Cas groaned. "He probably thinks they're from Taylor." He folded his arms across his chest, not pleased that his rival was the one getting the credit.
"Well then, why don't you tell him?"
Cas shook his head.
"Don't be a baby!"
"He likes Taylor.” After a beat, he added, “You know they call him McDreamy or something? It's horrible."
Baz kept on badgering. "But you're much better looking. Dark and mysterious. And those blue eyes. You should ask him out."
"He won't say yes," Cas insisted.
"You won't know unless you try."
Cas pulled at the back of his neck, thought for a second. "Okay. How."
"Just be confident. Say, 'Dean, you look lovely. Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?' I know you're firm when you want to be."
No matter how hard Baz tried to encourage him, it wasn't working. Cas still had that panicked look in his eyes, that sad little puppy-dog look. "What if he says no?"
"Then at least you'll know. No more nagging feeling..."
"I already know." Cas looked out the window miserably.
"No, you don't. You are so damn depressing. I didn't think you were such a quitter."
"I'm not," Cas scowled. He shot a look towards his partner.
"Then, do something about it! Don't let that prick take credit for all your hard wooing."
"Okay!" Cas was suddenly pumped, anger churning deep in his guts.
"Yes? Well, then." Baz stepped on the gas. "Let's go."
"What, now?" Cas started, not expecting it.
"It's now or never! Get pumped!" Balthazar switched on the police siren. Cas was mortified, but he hung on for the ride.
* * *
When they got to the hospital (in record time), Cas burst inside with confidence, but he still looked like shit. Hung over, exhausted, scruffy and bleary-eyed, he strode through the halls quickly, looking for Dean. There was no sign of him, so he swung by the nurses’ station to see if anyone knew where he could be.
Cas removed his hat and ran a hand through his hair, trying to neaten up his appearance, wanting to look good. He approached the counter. "Um, excuse me."
A young, bubbly female nurse looked up at him and flashed a smile, recognizing Cas. He did visit quite often to see Dean, so most of the nurses knew him well. "Hi, Officer St. James. If you're looking for Dean, you just missed him."
Cas was floored. He leaned onto the counter. "Do you know where he went?"
"No idea. I did see him leave with Dr. Taylor like, an hour ago."
Cas's heart sunk like a deflated balloon. So much for Hollywood romance. He straightened up, disappointed. "An hour? Okay. Thanks."
"Uh-huh! Nice seeing you, officer."
Cas tilted his cap to her and headed out of the hospital where Balthazar sat fiddling with the transmitter. When he saw Cas, he looked up urgently. "Castiel. Get in the car!"
His sudden energy perked Cas up, and he headed over to the cruiser quickly. "What is it?"
"We got a call. There’s an assault two blocks from here. Get in."
The second Cas hopped into the car, Balthazar sped off, siren blaring.
Cas's stomach was churning. "Hurry up."
There was no way Cas could have been prepared for what happened next.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Hi everyone,
It is with a heavy heart that I inform you all that the author of this story has passed away due to complications from Lupus. Bryan was a huge fan of Supernatural and he and I were lucky enough to go to BurCon just this past March to meet Jensen and Jared. (He's the one who doodled some Destiel and Crowley with Growley on the back of a receipt in McDonalds. I'm the one who gave it to a group of girls we didn't know because he was too shy to approach.)
He started writing this story after we tossed around ideas of what Cas and Dean would be like if circumstances were different. This story was a source of great inspiration and comfort for him during the time he spent writing it at the hospital. He left behind copious notes, the completed chapter which you've just read, some short scenes, a multi-chapter outline, and instructions for me to continue and finish his work.
So, I hope you continue to enjoy Bryan's story and if you'd like to see his artwork, please visit: http://battlescar-art.tumblr.com/
With love,
-clownfrogg
AUTHOR: thechameleonnn, clownfrogg
PAIRINGS: Castiel/Dean
WORD COUNT: 5,538
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: AU. Dean is a nurse, Cas is a cop. Cas is shot in the shoulder and Dean nurses him back to health. In the months that transpire, they become good friends and fall in love. However, happiness always comes at a cost for Dean Winchester...
Taylor picked Dean up at seven o'clock sharp, catching him right as he finished up his shift. Dean was energetic; excited, and it took almost all his willpower to keep still in his seat as Taylor drove them to the AC/DC concert. He’d only dreamed about what it would be like to see one of his favorite bands on stage in front of him, playing his favorite songs.
When they reached the venue, Dean shoved his way to the front of the pit, leaving Taylor to fight his way up after him. The crowd surged with energy and Dean watched, enthralled by his fellow fans, and unable to keep from whipping his head up at every movement and sound that came from backstage. Taylor was amused by Dean's enthusiasm; the show hadn't even started yet.
“Here,” Taylor pushed a wet plastic cup filled to the brim with some shitty but expensive beer into Dean’s hand, which was accepted gladly. He’d already had a couple before the show and felt his first-date-jitters melt away as the alcohol warmed his belly.
Suddenly, the first guitar chord rang out and the band came into view, lights popping and dry ice curling off the stage in cool wisps. Dean's eyes lit up and remained glued to the sight ahead of him; but Taylor's eyes stayed on Dean. He pressed a little closer, and maybe Dean was too engrossed to notice, but he didn't pull away.
“Are you ready to rock?” Brian Johnson’s voice thundered through the stadium and Dean screamed out his excitement with the rest of the crowd. Taylor looped an arm around his waist from behind as the first song started up, loud and strong, accompanied by pyrotechnics. Dean pumped his fists in the air, his hips moving with the music. Taylor smirked and held on, pressing tighter against him. He laughed when Dean shoved the half-empty beer cup back into his hands and sang along to Highway to Hell. He cheered loudly when Angus Young stripped down to his boxers and mooned the audience. That really cracked him up, and he turned to look at Taylor, his eyes sparkling happily.
“This is so awesome!” He gushed.
Then, Taylor leaned in and kissed him.
Dean's whole body froze up. But Taylor’s lips were soft, and the adrenaline and alcohol were wreaking havoc on his judgment. Somehow, his hands found their way into Taylor's jacket and suddenly their chests were pressed together, and Taylor chuckled darkly, lowly, against Dean’s mouth. In a brief moment of panic, Dean pulled back and glanced around, but no one seemed to care about the two guys making out. Crisis averted. So, he leaned in for more.
Pop, bang! Dean jumped sharply, looking back to the stage as fireworks exploded above them. "Holy crap!" he exclaimed, giddy and enthralled. He turned back towards the show, mesmerized. Taylor stayed close, his arms sliding around Dean's waist as he pressed against him from behind. Dean only leaned back into his embrace. He was feeling pretty damn good, loose and relaxed from all the alcohol and excitement.
By the end of the night, Dean was hoarse from all the singing and screaming, his throat aching and dry, but he didn’t care. He strolled down the street towards the Impala, high on adrenaline and rock n’ roll.
Dean had such a good time, he agreed to a second date.
Taylor took him to an auto race, and they drank beer and placed bets. If Dean won, he'd get fifty bucks, but Taylor only asked for a third date. Car number five, that was gonna be the one to net Dean his sweet moolah. But when the car skidded off the track and crashed into the wall on the final lap, Taylor shot a triumphant smirk towards Dean and Dean brooded silently in his defeat.
“Wanna grab some pie at the diner?” Taylor said, catching Dean’s hand as they left the track. Dean squeezed Taylor’s hand, his stomach doing a flip. Hell, if he got pie out of this, dating a dude might not be so bad after all…
A few weeks rolled by and they kept dating in secret. Dean was too embarrassed to admit it to anyone and let Cas continue to believe he was dating a woman. He was still spending most of his free time with the grouchy cop, but it was less and less, the closer he got with Taylor. Dean had to admit the doctor was growing on him a bit, but he still wasn't sure if he was gay. It was uncomfortable and he felt ashamed. His dad would never have approved of this, surely, but Dean didn't really know. It had been years since he'd seen John, but he still had this sinking feeling that his father wouldn't want his son to turn out a queer. All Dean had ever wanted was to make him proud.
Yet, despite his reservations, Dean couldn’t deny how good it felt to be making out with Taylor in the backseat of his Dodge Challenger on their fifth…no, sixth date. Dean hadn’t realized just how toned Taylor’s body was until the doctor had him pinned under his solid, muscular frame.
Dean had always been confident about himself in the bedroom; he tried very hard to please the women he’d been with in the past, and never really had any complaints lodged against him. But as good as he was at pleasing the ladies, he found himself at a loss when it came to being with Taylor. He suddenly didn’t know where to put his hands or what dirty things he ought to say to spice up the mood. He felt like a blushing school girl when Taylor wedged between his legs and cupped his ass. He was mortified by the sound of his voice and the soft moans he made when Taylor squeezed and kneaded at him.
But he was even more surprised by how much he was enjoying himself. How, whenever Taylor walked by him in the hospital and winked at him, that warm spike of arousal would pool in the pit of his stomach. How much he looked forward to stealing secret kisses in the break room or the locker room or coma guy’s room or the supply closet.
Yeah, he decided as he leaned his head back so Taylor could kiss over his throat, being with a dude is pretty hot.
* * *
After a particularly long and grueling day, made extra obnoxious by Taylor's ill-timed flirting, Dean was finally heading home. He strolled through the parking lot, exhausted, his bag slung over his shoulder with his hospital scrubs inside.
A police siren whooped a couple times behind him, followed by a deep, gravelly voice magnified over the speaker.
"Dean Winchester, you are under arrest."
Dean turned to see Cas drive his police cruiser up beside him, leaning out the window with a grin. "Hello, Dean." It drew a pout to Dean's lips, and he leaned down to the window with a scowl, trying to hide his amusement.
"You're embarrassing me." He shoved his bag in through the window at Cas’s face.
"Assault with a deadly weapon--" The receiver was snatched out of his hand.
"Cas wears ladies underpants!"
Cas flushed as the message rang across the parking lot. "Dean!" His face turned bright red, making Dean grin in amusement. He leaned halfway out the window now, as he reached for the walkie, swiping at the air as Dean moved further away.
A young, attractive woman looked up and turned to watch them curiously. Dean smirked and pointed in her direction. "Hey, beautiful--" He was cut off when Cas grabbed his pant-leg, yanking him closer to the cruiser, and grabbed for the walkie again.
"Get in the car. I need your help."
"Party pooper," Dean muttered, holding the prize just out of Cas' reach. "With what?"
Cas stared at him and Dean could feel those blue eyes penetrating his soul.
"Not until you stop using that,” he said.
"Whatsamatter, huh?"
"Dean, please," Cas groaned.
"Hey, you started it."
Cas snatched the walkie out of his hand. "Get in the car," he stated firmly. Dean relented and strolled around to the passenger's side to settle in. Cas dropped back into his seat, making one final announcement.
"Cas does not wear ladies underwear."
Dean snickered. The car rolled out of the parking lot and onto the street.
"Whatever you say, man. Why couldn't we take my car, by the way? I hate ridin' in this thing."
Cas was focused on the road, driving fast. He gripped the wheel, keeping the car steady. "Because we need to drive fast."
"What's the rush?" Dean asked, leaning back in his seat. Cas was pushing the speed limit now.
"The mall closes soon."
Dean quirked an eyebrow and glanced over at his friend. "What're we, teenagers?"
"You certainly behave like one." Cas switched on the siren and sped even faster, cutting and weaving through traffic with ease. Dean opened his mouth to respond, but Cas cut him off. "Look, I need you to…help me. Purchase clothing." He glanced at Dean briefly, tearing his eyes from the road. "To wear."
Dean laughed. Cas turned his eyes back to the road.
"Uh, okay. What, you forgot how to dress yourself or something?"
"Yes."
"What's the occasion?"
Cas pulled the car right up to the front entrance of the mall. Being a police officer definitely had it's perks. He glanced at Dean as he put the car in park.
"I got a credit card," he said, and then glanced away. "It came in the mail today." He pushed open the door and got out of the car. Dean followed beside him as he headed into the mall. Cas pulled the shiny new card out of his pocket, and Dean immediately snatched it from his fingers.
"Livin' the high life, huh. Sweet." Dean turned the card over in his hands, examining it. "Let's get crackin’, then!”
Six stores and five hundred dollars later, and Dean sat on Cas' bed, sorting through the clothes as Cas changed in the bathroom. He was taking a really long time, and it was making Dean impatient.
"Come on, lemme see," he grumbled, and headed into the bathroom, shoving the door open wide. Cas stood at the sink, dressed in dark jeans, a blue button down, and a bitchin' black leather jacket that Dean had chosen for him. Dean had to admit, he didn't look half bad. Cas's eyes were a little wide as he looked up at the sound of the door creaking open. He was in the middle of fussing with his hair, and it looked absolutely ridiculous. Dean chortled and closed the space between them, running his hands through Cas's hair to remedy the situation.
"What did you do?" Dean asked, amused. Cas looked at him helplessly. "What are you even doing your hair for now, huh? We just got back. You goin' somewhere?"
"Yes." Cas answered tersely. Dean chuckled, pleased.
"Cool. Where we goin'?"
"Ah..." Cas started. He shifted uncomfortably.
Dean smirked. "Strip club?"
"No."
"Where then?" Dean pushed.
"For a drink." Cas sighed deeply, glancing at himself in the mirror. Dean pulled back, inspecting Cas's unruly locks. He pushed him to sit down on the toilet lid and used his fingers to give it some style. Cas pushed back, though and stood abruptly, nose-to-nose with Dean. Dean rolled his eyes, pushed at his shoulders.
"Hey. I wasn't done."
"There's this girl," Cas started quickly, still quite uneasy. Dean tilted his head a bit, intrigued.
"What?"
"A girl..." Cas cleared his throat, shook his head and corrected himself. "Woman."
Dean didn't understand where he was going with this. "Okay... and?"
"And...I'm supposed to be taking her out. Tonight." Cas responded, watching Dean's face. Dean took a step back.
"A date?"
"That's what I said, yes."
Dean folded his arms and raised an eyebrow, looking Cas over from head to toe, then back up again. Then he leaned in and ruffled Cas’s hair, spitefully destroying the work he had done. Cas scowled and pushed Dean's hands away.
"Stop that."
"Make me." What a smart-ass. Cas did not look pleased. He turned back to the mirror to fix the damage, getting more pomade on his hands. Dean nudged him again, making Cas turn to confront him.
"What is your problem?" he grunted. Dean shrugged coolly.
"No problem. How come you waited so long to tell me?"
Cas shrugged. His voice was much smaller this time. "You've told me nothing about the person you're dating. I thought it was something we just don't talk about."
Dean shrugged that off. He definitely wasn't about to tell Cas he was dating a dude. He had to focus the attention back on Cas, fast. "Well, it's not serious." He paused, thought quickly. "You, uh, on the other hand..." he said, "You look nervous as hell, so that means you gotta like her a lot."
"Nn…yes." Cas fixed his hair and inspected himself in the mirror. "No," he amended quickly. Dean rolled his eyes.
"Don't bullshit me."
"It's just...Normally, I don't date." Grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste, Cas bent over the sink. He squeezed a small amount onto the tip of the brush and started to scrub his teeth.
"Yeah, okay. Well, you shoulda told me, Casanova," Dean jabbed at him playfully. Cas seemed irritated again.
"Why does it matter?" He asked around a mouthful of toothpaste.
"Because you're my friend?" Dean looked at him incredulously. The word 'duh' may as well have been written all over his face. Cas spit into the sink.
"Well, I just told you," Cas muttered.
"Took you long enough, though. You-- that's why you wanted new clothes. You dick!" Dean slapped Cas's shoulder, making him turn in surprise.
"Why are you angry?"
"I'm not! Just surprised. You said you never date."
"No. I have casual sex."
Dean almost choked without anything to even choke on. His face turned red and he laughed. "You what? Well, this is a date, Romeo! What makes her so special that you're not just gonna try to put your pig in her blanket?"
A sigh escaped Cas's lips. He rinsed his mouth and ran the water, sending the paste swirling down into the drain. "Remember the other day, when I told you about that attempted bank robbery?"
"Uh-huh."
"She was the teller I rescued." Cas placed his toothbrush gingerly in the holder, then turned back to adjust his hair once more.
"Ooooooh." Dean dragged out the syllable, being extra annoying about it. "She must want your dick real bad, then."
Cas just rolled his eyes, muttered a maybe. Dean reached out and flattened down Cas's hair. "Totally."
Cas pushed his arm away again, fixed his hair, and strode from the room quickly. Dean followed after him like an obedient puppy, but before he could open his mouth to badger Cas some more about his date, Cas turned suddenly and spoke up.
"Can I..." he started, then he sighed and started over. "If you're not too annoyed with me, could I borrow your car? Just for tonight?"
Dean's expression darkened considerably. He looked like someone had just spoken offense about his mother.
"I'll leave you the keys to my cruiser..." Cas pulled them from his pants pocket, but Dean's face didn't change.
"You've gotta be kidding."
Cas just stared at him with those big blue eyes, offering the keys to his friend. "Please."
It didn't change Dean's expression much, but he was looking a bit less angry and a little more thoughtfully. Still, he didn't look too keen on letting Cas take his baby on a date; the thought of him dirtying her up with that bank teller just left a sour taste in his mouth. But before he could even negotiate the Car Sex Rules, Cas's fist closed around the keys, he looked agitated.
"Forget it," he muttered, as he headed out the door. "Help yourself if you decide to stay." He slammed it behind him, leaving Dean startled and maybe a little bummed about the whole ordeal. He grumbled in his annoyance, sauntered over to the couch, and flopped down.
Let the brooding commence.
* * *
Cas didn't come home until three AM. When he stumbled inside, his clothes a little rumpled and his hair tousled, Dean was stretched out on the couch, stuffing his face with snacks and littering his coffee table with junk food wrappers. He heard the door open and straightened up, looking over the back of the couch.
"Woah, look what the cat dragged in!"
"Hello." Cas shut the door and leaned back against it, exhausted.
"Well?” Dean asked, impatient. It elicited a soft sigh from Cas. “How’d it go?”
"She's married. Separated." He looked disappointed. "We went to her house after dinner and drinks. She asked me to sneak out the back door." Cas scrubbed a hand over his face. Dean sat up a bit straighter, and leaned over the back of the couch.
"So, you didn't fuck her?" He didn’t know why that detail was so important, but he needed the answer.
"Actually, I did. But then she made me leave."
Dean scowled. "Bitch."
Cas sighed.
"It's cool, man. Was the sex good?"
"It was okay." Cas headed into the kitchen, rummaging in the fridge.
"Gees, that sucks..." Dean mumbled, hopping up and following after Cas. He leaned back against the island, watching Cas grab a Bud and snap the cap off on the counter. He already reeked of alcohol.
"You're drunk already, huh?" Dean asked. Cas knocked the bottle back and wiped his lip off on his jacket sleeve.
"Yes." His voice was rough, like it had been soaked in whiskey all night. Dean tried to hide the shiver it gave him.
"That bad?"
Cas turned back to the fridge, grabbed a slice of leftover pie, and a fork. He dropped the container onto the kitchen table and sank onto a chair, immediately shoveling food into his mouth. Dean watched, impressed.
"Hey uh, at least one of us is getting some. I can't remember the last time I got lucky." Dean's attempt at consolation didn't really work though. Cas shot him a skeptical, bleary eye.
"Your girlfriend isn't putting out?"
"Long story. We uh... just screw around. Haven't fucked yet. I don't always fuck on the first date, you know."
Cas grunted, but didn't say anything else. He ate another huge mouthful of pie.
Dean stood there awkwardly for a minute before his phone beeped. He fished it out of his pocket, checked his message, and let a slow smirk spread over his face. Cas knocked back more beer, finishing off the slice of pie, and started in on another.
"What's up with you, man?" Dean asked as he focused on his phone, texting slowly. "You're like a wild animal."
"Hungry." Cas wasn't even talking anymore, just grunting. He was almost finished that second slice of pie, like some kind of crazy human vacuum cleaner.
"What're you, pregnant?"
Cas shot Dean a look. "It's three in the morning and I just had sex. I'm allowed to be hungry."
Dean shrugged, brought his phone closer to his nose. Cas let out that familiar sigh of annoyance.
"Are you sexting in front of me?" He finished his beer and rose from his chair, placing his plate in the sink and his bottle in the trash. Dean shrugged again.
"Perfectly innocent text messaging..."
"Bullshit," Cas interjected, sauntering out of the kitchen and back into the living room. Dean followed like a shadow once more, as Cas sat down and grabbed the TV remote.
"Well, if you wanna trade... sexting for sex, I'm down."
"Sure."
"Seriously? Weirdo."
The second Dean sat down beside him, Cas snatched the phone from his hands and started flicking through his messages. Dean started, grabbing for it in a blind panic. "Hey!"
Cas pressed a hand to Dean's chest and held him at arm's length. Flipping through the messages with his thumb, he selected a random message in the inbox from 'Joe.'
I wanna take ur clothes off baby
"You are such a liar," Cas breathed, holding the phone away as Dean grabbed for it. "Jo wants to get you naked." He kept on scrolling. Dean looked desperate, panicked, confused that Cas didn't seem too fazed that it was a man-- then he realized. He must think it was from Jo. Boobs-and-a vagina-not-a-penis-Jo.
Even still, he'd figure it out if he kept going through those messages. Dean had to get that phone back. So, he tackled Cas back onto the couch, making him let out an "oof!," though he quickly recovered and rolled them onto the floor, still clutching the phone firmly in hand. He read another text.
u want me to touch your dick?
Cas laughed and kept on scrolling. "She really sucks at this."
Dean kept reaching, he could feel the muscles in his arms straining and stretching. "Cas, gimmie the damn phone!" But Cas was relentless. He read another.
Thinkin about being inside u baby...
Cas froze and pushed Dean off, staring at the phone. He checked to see if he'd switched to the outbox instead and realized he hadn't. He tilted his head, looking over at Dean, who was beet red. He grabbed for the phone once again, but Cas held it away, looked down again. He squinted.
"Joe. With an e?" Cas gaped.
Dean, flustered, finally managed to fish the phone from Cas's hand. "Shut. Up."
"Wait... you're-- this isn't Jo, Jo?" A stunned look was possessing Cas. He tilted his head up towards Dean, watching him crawl away dejectedly. Quickly, he grabbed Dean's ankle and pulled him back. "You're dating a guy? Who is he, do I know him...?" Suddenly Cas was all questions. Dean groaned, mortified.
"No...! No!"
Upset, Cas pried the phone from Dean's clammy grasp once more. He opened the message and turned it towards Dean. "He wanted to be inside of you." His voice came out more like a growl than the English language. Dean turned his face away, embarrassed.
"Stop reading my texts."
"Who is this guy, Dean?"
"I can't believe you just read that, fuck."
Clearly, Dean wasn't going to answer him. So, Cas pressed the call button and raised the phone to his ear. Dean's eyes shot open and he lunged for Cas.
"Cas, no!"
Cas scrambled to his feet, stumbling away from Dean. The phone rang twice on the other end and then there was a soft rustling noise as Taylor picked up.
"Hey, baby," Taylor answered smoothly. Cas listened carefully, trying to recognize the voice.
"Keep talking."
Taylor was immediately thrown, that was definitely too deep to be Dean's voice. "Who's this?"
"Who's this?" Cas echoed. "Joe?" He was running circles around the coffee table now, with Dean on his tail. It wasn't a problem, he could easily outrun him.
It took Taylor a moment. "...Cas? The cop?"
"Ah, so I know you," Cas muttered triumphantly.
"I'd recognize that weird voice anywhere."
"Taylor. It all makes sense now." There was only one Joseph who was that much of a dick.
"Gimmie the phone!" Dean groaned, and was surprised when Cas tossed it to him. He fumbled and nearly dropped it. Once he caught it, he rushed out of the room, the front door slamming behind him. Startled, Cas rushed after him, not having expected Dean to leave so abruptly.
"Dean!"
When he got to the window, he could see Dean pacing outside by the front step. Cas stopped short. The phone was raised to Dean's ear, and he was speaking quickly. After just a few short seconds, he hung up and sunk down onto the stoop, dropping his face into his hands.
Cas slowly opened the front door, leaning around the edge of it awkwardly. "Joe Taylor, huh. The doctor."
"You're a prick," Dean hissed. "I can't believe you stole my phone."
"I can't believe you're dating a guy and didn't tell me," Cas fired back. Dean shook his head, his stomach twisting.
"Why the hell would I tell you? So you could flip the fuck out?"
"I'm not flipping out! I thought it was Jo. That girl!"
"You're yelling! That's flipping out."
Cas's lip curled as the jealousy flared up in his chest. "I didn't think you dated men. That's all,” he replied curly. He watched Dean rub at his eyes, saw the embarrassed heat turning his cheeks and neck pink, and Cas wondered briefly if he’d cry. He softened his voice and spoke, “It's fine, Dean. You shouldn't have been afraid to tell me."
"I'm not afraid of anything," Dean said. Cas shook his head, feeling more rejected than ever.
"Why did you lie to me?"
"I just... let you think what you wanted. I didn't lie. Not really. Kinda. I mean, no. Why would I tell you that? It's freakin' weird."
Cas scowled. "I don't think it's weird." He sunk down beside Dean, sitting on the step next to him, and clapped him on the arm affectionately. Dean turned to look at his hand, the blush from before still on his face.
"Okay, well... good," he mumbled awkwardly.
"Come inside. We can watch a movie."
Dean sighed, and rose to his feet. "No, I think I should go,” he said quietly, unable to recover from the hurt and shame that made his stomach feel weak.
“Dean-” Cas stood as well and gazed at him, willing him to stay.
“I gotta go,” Dean grunted and walked down the steps, heading for the Impala across the street. Cas watched helplessly as Dean got in, started the engine, and sped off into the night. He curled his hands into fists until he couldn’t see the taillights anymore, then trudged back up the steps and into his cold and empty apartment.
Alone.
* * *
The next day, Cas was on patrol with Balthazar, clutching the steering wheel as a headache pounding in his ears. He was hung over and downright miserable, and like hell if Baz hadn't noticed. He was starting to get a little impatient with his partner's grumpiness.
"You haven't said a bloody thing all day. I take it your date went horribly."
"I slept with a married woman. It was awful." Cas focused on the road. He was so tired, so spent. Dean liked men but he hadn't even considered Cas, and that felt like such a punch to the gut.
Baz chuckled. "So, she was rubbish."
"She was alright."
"It's pretty difficult for a woman to be bad at sex. What'd she do, try to bite off your nipples?"
"She wanted a serious emotional connection with me. I didn't really know how to please her."
"You just wanted to stick it in."
Cas brought the car to a stop as they sat in front of a red light. He sighed and glanced over at Balthazar. "She sort of just... laid still."
Baz laughed. "Wow. It's all about participation, isn't it?"
"You'd think." He turned back to the road, taking a left.
"Better luck next time." Baz reached across the seat and patted Cas on the shoulder, amused.
"I'm so hung over..." Cas groaned, pulling into the parking lot of a small convenience store.
"Mm, yes. Do complain some more. You got laid and your life is quite miserable," Baz teased. Cas rubbed his forehead.
"Yes, and then I had to sneak out while her husband came in through the front door. I'm... the back door man."
That drew another chuckle from Balthazar. "Did you do it in the back door?"
Cas scowled. Baz laughed again. "Shame, shame..."
"I need drugs."
"You're boned." Baz shuffled out of the car, then leaned down to the window. "Only because I love you."
Cas muttered his thanks as Balthazar disappeared into the store. He slumped down in his seat, closed his eyes and tried to ignore the sound of traffic whooshing by on the street behind them. He got himself a few minutes of peace before the driver's door was suddenly wrenched open and a bottle of aspirin fell into his lap.
"Scoot over, would you?" Baz was leaning over him, his police uniform shirt hanging open in a slight V, missing a couple buttons at the top. He held a bottle of water out to Cas, shaking it insistently.
Cas's hand closed around the bottle and he climbed into the passenger's seat, allowing Baz to get in and drive. He swallowed the pills down with the water quietly, keeping to himself.
Baz broke the silence as he started the car. "How are things with lover boy, then?" Cas was quiet, unresponsive. "That bad, mm?"
"If you're referring to Dean..." he looked over at his friend, "I found out that the lady he's been dating? Not a lady at all."
"Where’ve you been?" Baz snorted, pulling onto the road, and it made Cas's head snap up.
"You knew?"
"It seems kind of obvious," Baz interjected thoughtfully. Cas sat up straight, distressed.
"Please tell me you're kidding."
"I always thought he was a little crooked."
"Balthazar." Cas looked at him darkly. "Did you know he was dating Taylor or not?"
"I had no clue," Baz sighed defensively. "Don't you think I would have told you, Cassie, love?"
"I don't know." Cas relaxed into his seat, but only slightly. "I just... I don't get it."
"Exactly. Why wouldn't he go for you, then? Hm. I think maybe you need to woo him. You've got no excuse now that you know he's gay."
Cas looked weary, uncertain. "I don't know what to do."
"Just ask him to dinner."
"I can't. He's been dating this guy for three weeks. I thought the presents would've worked. I've been sending him stuff for the past year." Cas groaned. "He probably thinks they're from Taylor." He folded his arms across his chest, not pleased that his rival was the one getting the credit.
"Well then, why don't you tell him?"
Cas shook his head.
"Don't be a baby!"
"He likes Taylor.” After a beat, he added, “You know they call him McDreamy or something? It's horrible."
Baz kept on badgering. "But you're much better looking. Dark and mysterious. And those blue eyes. You should ask him out."
"He won't say yes," Cas insisted.
"You won't know unless you try."
Cas pulled at the back of his neck, thought for a second. "Okay. How."
"Just be confident. Say, 'Dean, you look lovely. Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?' I know you're firm when you want to be."
No matter how hard Baz tried to encourage him, it wasn't working. Cas still had that panicked look in his eyes, that sad little puppy-dog look. "What if he says no?"
"Then at least you'll know. No more nagging feeling..."
"I already know." Cas looked out the window miserably.
"No, you don't. You are so damn depressing. I didn't think you were such a quitter."
"I'm not," Cas scowled. He shot a look towards his partner.
"Then, do something about it! Don't let that prick take credit for all your hard wooing."
"Okay!" Cas was suddenly pumped, anger churning deep in his guts.
"Yes? Well, then." Baz stepped on the gas. "Let's go."
"What, now?" Cas started, not expecting it.
"It's now or never! Get pumped!" Balthazar switched on the police siren. Cas was mortified, but he hung on for the ride.
* * *
When they got to the hospital (in record time), Cas burst inside with confidence, but he still looked like shit. Hung over, exhausted, scruffy and bleary-eyed, he strode through the halls quickly, looking for Dean. There was no sign of him, so he swung by the nurses’ station to see if anyone knew where he could be.
Cas removed his hat and ran a hand through his hair, trying to neaten up his appearance, wanting to look good. He approached the counter. "Um, excuse me."
A young, bubbly female nurse looked up at him and flashed a smile, recognizing Cas. He did visit quite often to see Dean, so most of the nurses knew him well. "Hi, Officer St. James. If you're looking for Dean, you just missed him."
Cas was floored. He leaned onto the counter. "Do you know where he went?"
"No idea. I did see him leave with Dr. Taylor like, an hour ago."
Cas's heart sunk like a deflated balloon. So much for Hollywood romance. He straightened up, disappointed. "An hour? Okay. Thanks."
"Uh-huh! Nice seeing you, officer."
Cas tilted his cap to her and headed out of the hospital where Balthazar sat fiddling with the transmitter. When he saw Cas, he looked up urgently. "Castiel. Get in the car!"
His sudden energy perked Cas up, and he headed over to the cruiser quickly. "What is it?"
"We got a call. There’s an assault two blocks from here. Get in."
The second Cas hopped into the car, Balthazar sped off, siren blaring.
Cas's stomach was churning. "Hurry up."
There was no way Cas could have been prepared for what happened next.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Hi everyone,
It is with a heavy heart that I inform you all that the author of this story has passed away due to complications from Lupus. Bryan was a huge fan of Supernatural and he and I were lucky enough to go to BurCon just this past March to meet Jensen and Jared. (He's the one who doodled some Destiel and Crowley with Growley on the back of a receipt in McDonalds. I'm the one who gave it to a group of girls we didn't know because he was too shy to approach.)
He started writing this story after we tossed around ideas of what Cas and Dean would be like if circumstances were different. This story was a source of great inspiration and comfort for him during the time he spent writing it at the hospital. He left behind copious notes, the completed chapter which you've just read, some short scenes, a multi-chapter outline, and instructions for me to continue and finish his work.
So, I hope you continue to enjoy Bryan's story and if you'd like to see his artwork, please visit: http://battlescar-art.tumblr.com/
With love,
-clownfrogg