She's almost a week!!
Wow. Alayna is almost a week old!! (One week tomorrow!) The great part is, she may be coming home tomorrow!! I wish I knew in advance, but I won't. :( I'll know more so by tonight or tomorrow morning. It just depends if she keeps drinking her bottles or not. I think she will, because the nurse said that once babies start drinking the full bottle, they hardly ever go back to not drinking it. I'm hoping maybe they take the gastro nasal tube out soon. I mean, if she's drinking the bottles, I don't see why she needs it in. I don't know. Maybe it's like a threat to her? She knows that if she doesn't drink the bottle they'll have to put it down the tube, so maybe keeping it in until right before she goes home she'll keep up the good work? I'm in the middle about this, really.
So yesterday when I walked into the NICU I was so happy to see that the GREAT nurse was there. This one nurse, Carole, is so amazing with Alayna. She's just an amazing nurse all together. She really loves each and every one of the babies, and you can see it. She's great!! She told me that Alayna finished her whole bottle. I was ecstatic!! lol We stayed with Alayna up until her next feeding and SHE FINISHED THAT TOO!! :D To make a very long story short, she finished ALL of her bottles last night. Well, up until 11 pm when I called last. I'm praying that she finished the rest of her feedings as well! They also said she's waking up on her own now when it's feeding time, so that's always a good thing! If she keeps it up she could be home by tomorrow. I'm hoping. I'm just praying that last night and this morning she finishes her bottles. And the rest of today too, but I'll be there so I'll see it and not worry about having to wonder. lol
So yesterday Alayna's dad, his mom and his sister were supposed to come to see her, but they didn't. Turns out I guess they had better things to do. I'm sorry, I still do think he'll be a great father, but he has to get his priorities straight. What's more important? Your precious, beautiful little daughter or something else? It just got me so angry. If that were me, my daughter would be my first priority. Actually, my daughter IS my first priority. I give up everything to go see her and to go bond with her and hold her because I hate leaving her alone. I'd give my daughter everything. I'd give her my entire life if I had to and that's amazing how you just automatically feel that after she's born, you know? I guess that's just the difference between him and I. I'd do anything to make my daughter happy and I'd give up everythign I had if I had to for her. I just think it shows what's going to happen in the future. Alayna will be waiting for her father and he'll just let her down and never show. I wish I could prevent her that hurt.
Last night I felt so crappy. I don't know what happened, but I'm completely fine now. I was laying down & taking a nap last night and was perfectly fine. I got up to get something to drink and to go to the bathroom and when I got up I got so cold and starteed shaking. I haven't felt like that in such a long time. :( I'm wondering if it's due to the Mag they gave me? They said for up to two weeks I could feel flu like symptoms until it completely gets out of my system, but I don't know. I didn't even feel any reactions when I was in labor and getting the Mag, so I don't know. I just know I feel a lot better now and that's all I care about. I'm still getting bad headaches every few minutes on and off, but...that's the least of my worries today. My daughter is my main concern. SHE MUST EAT!
My grandmother should be coming home from the hospital today, even though I don't think she should be. Bayonne Hospital calls my mom last night telling her to "Get there right now." because they didn't know how to handle things. WTF?! Turns out they didn't give her any insulin and they gave her pain medicine with Codine in it. (Which she is allergic to) and she was getting very mean and aggitated and confused. The fucking hospital didn't know how to handle that. They told my mom to get there to handle it for them. WTF?! They get paid for this, they should be the ones to fucking take care of it. I mean, my mom doesn't care going and helping, but when the nurses do NOTHING for the patients... They screwed up all of her medicines and everything. My mom and I are going in a few minutes to see if my grandmother is doing well, and then we're headed to go to Livingston to see how Alayna is!!
Oh! I did speak to a lactation consultant and I can breastfeed!! But that means I don't think I can go onto my anti depressants again. :( But...! I might not need them for a while. I can sacrifice how I feel for my daughter's health