True Friendship

[artistindisguis]

Hope it brings a chuckle.

Are you sick of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound
like Hallmark cards, and never come close to reality? Well, here is a
series of promises that really speak to true friendship:

1. When you are sad I will help you get drunk and plot
revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is
choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you've finally had sex.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it
every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories
about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit
whining.

6. When you are confused I will use little words.

7. When you are sick stay the hell away from me until
you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall I will point and laugh at your clumsy
ass.

This is my oath: I pledge it till the end.
Why, you ask? Because you are my friend.

Remember:
A good friend will help you move.

A really good friend will help you move a body.
So..........Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.