Stability
I search, sure-footed, through the scintillating
Society of the opposite sex for stability.
Like looking for coffee grounds
In the dirt or for red poems on terracotta tile;
I’m searching for your sighs in the atmosphere
So perhaps I don’t know what I’m looking for-
At least I know how to spell it. STABILITY.
An S for sloppy seconds and redundant rebounds
Drumming against the backboard of my insecurities,
a T of teeter-totter, ups and downs those perilous
Pulls of control, a worn out rubber band
With nothing left to give.
A- always aggravating, ashing on my affluent hopes
Of an assured tomorrow and BULLSHIT, that B,
Those luscious lines they throw to bait me.
But I don’t want aesthetic applause- if you want me,
Illustrate the pictures of my soul that inspire you-
Not the ones bouncing beneath my sweater I SWEAR
Some truly believe my confidence is as frail as grandma’s
China, and that they are some sort of life preserver
To my confidence- as if without their pointless praise
I would drown in my own mediocrity.
It brings me back to I- your italicized infractions
Between your unblinking pair of lenses and L-losers
With finalized, capitalized letters always stealing secret
Beats without my hearts consent.
Another I dots another question mark until the T tears
At what’s left of me. And the Y Y Y do I plunge off
The ledge of inhibitions for those who never scrub down
My sense of stability until it shines bereft if the imperfections
and complications I know so well?
Because stability, to me, only perverts love as unworthy
Candidates lock their minds by their zippers and progress
The never ending question, perpetuating my attempts
At a probably…pointless….happiness
Society of the opposite sex for stability.
Like looking for coffee grounds
In the dirt or for red poems on terracotta tile;
I’m searching for your sighs in the atmosphere
So perhaps I don’t know what I’m looking for-
At least I know how to spell it. STABILITY.
An S for sloppy seconds and redundant rebounds
Drumming against the backboard of my insecurities,
a T of teeter-totter, ups and downs those perilous
Pulls of control, a worn out rubber band
With nothing left to give.
A- always aggravating, ashing on my affluent hopes
Of an assured tomorrow and BULLSHIT, that B,
Those luscious lines they throw to bait me.
But I don’t want aesthetic applause- if you want me,
Illustrate the pictures of my soul that inspire you-
Not the ones bouncing beneath my sweater I SWEAR
Some truly believe my confidence is as frail as grandma’s
China, and that they are some sort of life preserver
To my confidence- as if without their pointless praise
I would drown in my own mediocrity.
It brings me back to I- your italicized infractions
Between your unblinking pair of lenses and L-losers
With finalized, capitalized letters always stealing secret
Beats without my hearts consent.
Another I dots another question mark until the T tears
At what’s left of me. And the Y Y Y do I plunge off
The ledge of inhibitions for those who never scrub down
My sense of stability until it shines bereft if the imperfections
and complications I know so well?
Because stability, to me, only perverts love as unworthy
Candidates lock their minds by their zippers and progress
The never ending question, perpetuating my attempts
At a probably…pointless….happiness