The Fear of Death is the Only Thing That Keeps Us Living, [1/?]
The Fear of Death is the Only Thing That Keeps Us Living, Chapter 1~
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Alex can feel chills going down his bones, taking his familiar seat at the single missing spot at the end of the table. It scares him to pieces that Trace hasn't said a word about his late appearance. He just continues on giving the speech about how he is pleased that we were all able to join him. He makes certain note to mention that it's a new moon and Alex knows that this must be why the meeting had been called tonight.
"However," Trace continues, "there have been some misunderstandings among the group and their rules." Alex only knows that it's him. The rest of the members have been with Trace for years, probably more than Alex has been alive for. "Marks are not for love."
"What about you?" Alex asks, because he knows for certain that this is aimed at him. "It's no secret that you and Mason are mark and master for more than just his taste." And even though he's scared beyond his wildest dreams, he can't help but feel outraged. He was different.
Trace simply swallows, calmly and poised, "Because I am different."
There is no denying the difference. Trace was levels beyond Alex, able to break his neck with the twitch of his finger. Able to dig a knife through his neck and share him with the rest of the group.
"You are nothing but a born and thus have no power. I suggest that you learn to control your mouth for it will get you into situations that will be most unpleasant." The look that crosses Trace's face is enough to sink Alex into his chair, silent as a mouse.
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He spreads out across Jack's floor, pulling Jack down on top of him. He welcomes the weight, the familiarity of calm sinking back into his veins. He lets out a breath, staring at the ceiling light and just thinking. His life could be normal if it weren't for Trace. He can't blame Trace though, because without Trace he wouldn't know how to hunt.
Without Trace he might not have even known about half of the stuff that he knows now. Of course his dad knows, but he's not the vampire. All he'd been was a mark to a vampire. There was the information, but there wasn't the experience to match the knowledge.
"Are you hungry?" Jack asks out of the blue, pressing his hand to Alex's stomach and pressing with the softest pressure. Just to let him know that if he wants, he can have him.
Alex shakes his head, they'd had dinner at the meeting. He admits, knows, that the meals at the meeting are nowhere near as tasty as Jack. Jack's fucking made for him. "I just want to be a normal teenager. Why is that so hard?"
Jack shakes his head, "I don't know. It's not a huge joy being a human either."
Alex stretches out, a scowl dawning over his face as his resentment grows, "I had to be born though. I couldn't even be created. Why? I mean, of all things. Fuck my life." Alex digs his palms into his eyes, trying to block everything out.
"Ask your dad." Jack replies simply.
Alex groans, "You know that my dad and my father aren't the same person." And as though a light went off in Alex's head, he remembers what the entire meeting had even been about. "I'm not allowed to love you," Alex says, complete with hand motions.
"What?" Jack asks, completely confused and caught off guard.
"You're not my official mark. I don't own you, so I can't do anything to do you. And even if I do mark you, I can't do anything like, sex," Alex feels like he shouldn't be ashamed because he's a 16 year old boy and sex is probably what he's supposed to be talking about, but he can't bring himself to divulge into further details of exactly what he's not allowed to do to Jack.
"So mark me," Jack replies, curt and certain.
Alex sighs, deflating in on himself, "I can't." And even though he can't see Jack's face, he can feel his disappointment.
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A/N: LOL IT IS 3:30 AM. I'm not sure what I just wrote. As a fair warning.
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Alex can feel chills going down his bones, taking his familiar seat at the single missing spot at the end of the table. It scares him to pieces that Trace hasn't said a word about his late appearance. He just continues on giving the speech about how he is pleased that we were all able to join him. He makes certain note to mention that it's a new moon and Alex knows that this must be why the meeting had been called tonight.
"However," Trace continues, "there have been some misunderstandings among the group and their rules." Alex only knows that it's him. The rest of the members have been with Trace for years, probably more than Alex has been alive for. "Marks are not for love."
"What about you?" Alex asks, because he knows for certain that this is aimed at him. "It's no secret that you and Mason are mark and master for more than just his taste." And even though he's scared beyond his wildest dreams, he can't help but feel outraged. He was different.
Trace simply swallows, calmly and poised, "Because I am different."
There is no denying the difference. Trace was levels beyond Alex, able to break his neck with the twitch of his finger. Able to dig a knife through his neck and share him with the rest of the group.
"You are nothing but a born and thus have no power. I suggest that you learn to control your mouth for it will get you into situations that will be most unpleasant." The look that crosses Trace's face is enough to sink Alex into his chair, silent as a mouse.
------
He spreads out across Jack's floor, pulling Jack down on top of him. He welcomes the weight, the familiarity of calm sinking back into his veins. He lets out a breath, staring at the ceiling light and just thinking. His life could be normal if it weren't for Trace. He can't blame Trace though, because without Trace he wouldn't know how to hunt.
Without Trace he might not have even known about half of the stuff that he knows now. Of course his dad knows, but he's not the vampire. All he'd been was a mark to a vampire. There was the information, but there wasn't the experience to match the knowledge.
"Are you hungry?" Jack asks out of the blue, pressing his hand to Alex's stomach and pressing with the softest pressure. Just to let him know that if he wants, he can have him.
Alex shakes his head, they'd had dinner at the meeting. He admits, knows, that the meals at the meeting are nowhere near as tasty as Jack. Jack's fucking made for him. "I just want to be a normal teenager. Why is that so hard?"
Jack shakes his head, "I don't know. It's not a huge joy being a human either."
Alex stretches out, a scowl dawning over his face as his resentment grows, "I had to be born though. I couldn't even be created. Why? I mean, of all things. Fuck my life." Alex digs his palms into his eyes, trying to block everything out.
"Ask your dad." Jack replies simply.
Alex groans, "You know that my dad and my father aren't the same person." And as though a light went off in Alex's head, he remembers what the entire meeting had even been about. "I'm not allowed to love you," Alex says, complete with hand motions.
"What?" Jack asks, completely confused and caught off guard.
"You're not my official mark. I don't own you, so I can't do anything to do you. And even if I do mark you, I can't do anything like, sex," Alex feels like he shouldn't be ashamed because he's a 16 year old boy and sex is probably what he's supposed to be talking about, but he can't bring himself to divulge into further details of exactly what he's not allowed to do to Jack.
"So mark me," Jack replies, curt and certain.
Alex sighs, deflating in on himself, "I can't." And even though he can't see Jack's face, he can feel his disappointment.
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A/N: LOL IT IS 3:30 AM. I'm not sure what I just wrote. As a fair warning.