Too Much
Master Post
Would You Trade That Heart of Gold For a Minute in My Skin?
Chapter 9, Too Much
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He loves Jack. Alex loves him, he's certain of it. The texts that he gets from Jack are the ones that make him smile. But there's something about the entire situation that makes it uncertain for him. Like he's unable to hold on to it, it's slipping through his grasp.
He wants to love Jack, not that it's hard to do so. He just wants to be with him forever. Their schedules are completely different though, Alex working during the night while Jack works during the day. The weekend is the only time that the two have time together. Two days a week isn't enough for Alex.
He's tired of it, tired of always being alone. He wants to see Jack more often, but he can't figure out how. It's getting old, always being alone in a big cold bed.
He misses Rian, not Rian himself, but the simplicity. With him, at least Alex didn't have to bother with anything. It didn't matter if Rian loved him back or at all because Alex didn't really care. With Rian, at least he could immerse himself in a fake love, just to numb the pain of being alone.
Jack's different though, he cares about Alex, he cares how he feels. It's something that Alex isn't ever sure he's felt. Even his parents, even though they loved him, they were only able to see how he would benefit them later in life. They didn't care what he wanted, probably the reason why he'd been kicked out of the house at the age of seventeen. He'd wanted to do music, faking illnesses and college tours for shows in other places.
They were right; it had blown up in his face. Now, as a twenty-three year old, he's stuck as a clerk at 7-11. Rian had at least given him the time of day, probably the only reason why Alex had even taken to him in the first place. They'd both tried so hard. But they each just wanted to be loved by the other.
They'd suffocated each other, drowning each other in love without chances to come up for air. The only thing that Alex wants to take from that relationship; is what not to do. He wants to stay with Jack for as long as they can deal with one another. Too much of love is too much, and never wants Jack to feel like that.
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A/N: These two chapters are written together as they're both mini-chapters. Fillers I guess. Whatever, there wasn't much to the songs in the first place anyways. Blah I hate it, cause half of the music is all like, "Yay! You're cute! I like you!" and then the other half is like, "I'm not good enough for you, you should just leave me." GASKARTH, MAKE UP YOUR MIND. DDDD:
Would You Trade That Heart of Gold For a Minute in My Skin?
Chapter 9, Too Much
------
He loves Jack. Alex loves him, he's certain of it. The texts that he gets from Jack are the ones that make him smile. But there's something about the entire situation that makes it uncertain for him. Like he's unable to hold on to it, it's slipping through his grasp.
He wants to love Jack, not that it's hard to do so. He just wants to be with him forever. Their schedules are completely different though, Alex working during the night while Jack works during the day. The weekend is the only time that the two have time together. Two days a week isn't enough for Alex.
He's tired of it, tired of always being alone. He wants to see Jack more often, but he can't figure out how. It's getting old, always being alone in a big cold bed.
He misses Rian, not Rian himself, but the simplicity. With him, at least Alex didn't have to bother with anything. It didn't matter if Rian loved him back or at all because Alex didn't really care. With Rian, at least he could immerse himself in a fake love, just to numb the pain of being alone.
Jack's different though, he cares about Alex, he cares how he feels. It's something that Alex isn't ever sure he's felt. Even his parents, even though they loved him, they were only able to see how he would benefit them later in life. They didn't care what he wanted, probably the reason why he'd been kicked out of the house at the age of seventeen. He'd wanted to do music, faking illnesses and college tours for shows in other places.
They were right; it had blown up in his face. Now, as a twenty-three year old, he's stuck as a clerk at 7-11. Rian had at least given him the time of day, probably the only reason why Alex had even taken to him in the first place. They'd both tried so hard. But they each just wanted to be loved by the other.
They'd suffocated each other, drowning each other in love without chances to come up for air. The only thing that Alex wants to take from that relationship; is what not to do. He wants to stay with Jack for as long as they can deal with one another. Too much of love is too much, and never wants Jack to feel like that.
------
A/N: These two chapters are written together as they're both mini-chapters. Fillers I guess. Whatever, there wasn't much to the songs in the first place anyways. Blah I hate it, cause half of the music is all like, "Yay! You're cute! I like you!" and then the other half is like, "I'm not good enough for you, you should just leave me." GASKARTH, MAKE UP YOUR MIND. DDDD: