Damned If I Do Ya (Damned If I Don't)
Master Post
Would You Trade That Heart of Gold For a Minute in My Skin?
Chapter 1, Damned If I Do Ya (Damned If I Don't)
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"Baby, stop it. Don't get in over your head," Alex whispers to Rian as he tries to pull him away from the snarling men. "I really don't want a fight." He doesn't want to fight. Alex is a general peace guy. It's probably only because Alex sort of sucks at fighting and always manages to get his ass kicked, but he doesn't like being mean either.
"Screw you," Rian replies as he jerks away. "Are you fucking scared or what?" He asks the two guys in front of them.
"I'm leaving then," Alex decides and starts to walk away. He feels his arm being pulled back by Rian, who glares at him.
"Are you my boyfriend or are you not?" Rian asks with a deadly voice, indirectly threatening the older boy. His eyes match his voice, like he's asking if Alex's really faithful, as though a fight will decide it.
"Yeah, I am," Alex confirms.
"Fags aren't appreciated around these parts," the bigger one of the two replies. He cracks his knuckles while his partner rolls his neck, cracking a bit in the process. Alex is scared shitless right now by these two.
"Suck my dick," Rian says acidly, lunging at them.
In the midst of the fight, Alex doesn't realize that Rian's bailed out. A few broken ribs, a black eye, and one cop later, Alex is sitting at a table with an alcohol soaked cloth to a gash on his cheek from the edge of a table.
"He didn't even put up a god damned fight. It suits him, the gay pussy."
Alex is bursting with anger, he can't even believe what's just happened to him. It's not the men that he's pissed of at, it's not the fact that he's been beaten to a pulp. It's the fact that his boyfriend got him into a fight and then left him to deal with the law. It's all Rian seems to have been doing lately, is setting Alex up only to leave him.
The police decided that it would be better not to send Alex in the car with the other two, so he's sitting here with one of the cops, the younger one thank God, until they return with another car. "So how'd you even get in this fight? Doesn't seem like you're the type to start it." The cop asks.
He's waiting to get taken in for questioning, even though they've confirmed that he's not being charged since he didn't even do anything. He sighs, which only hurts his probably broken rib, before he covers up for his boyfriend, "I had called my boyfriend Rian and told him I was out for a while. I told him that I loved him and the guys overheard. They told me that they didn't appreciate gays in their bar and basically just beat the shit out of me."
Every fiber of his being tells him to not lie, because the other two guys will definitely tell the truth, but he can't give Rian away. If they question any further about why his story is different, he'll just say that his mind is sort of fuzzy from being smacked on the ground. "At least, I think that's what happened," he continues, just to back up his story, "I mean, I did whack my head pretty hard."
The cop nods, believing everything, "How's your cut faring?" Alex pulls the cloth away from his cheek, which is completely soaked in his blood now. The bleeding doesn't stop and he replaces the cloth, even though probably isn't doing much for him anymore.
He sighs and applies a little more pressure, just to feel the pain in his cheek throb. He's so angry that it's taking some of his focus off his anger. He's been giving up everything for Rian lately and so far he hasn't gotten much in return.
The police car returns and they take Alex away, but not before giving him a new cloth. The questioning goes pretty smoothly, Alex mostly faking forgetting most of the details before he whacked his the back of his head on the table. The same cop that sat with him in the bar takes him to the emergency room in the hospital since the urgent care is currently closed.
The doctor informs Alex that he has two broken ribs and a huge bruise on the back of his head. He stitches the gash on Alex's cheek together, covering it up and tells Alex to remove it once the wound has stopped bleeding. The boy can't help but want to punch something, with all the things that he's gone through because of Rian. This is the third time that Rian had done something of the sort, only the times before hadn't been as bad.
Leaving Alex at a club half way across town to let him walk home, the second time was even further than the time before. Alex can't understand why he's being treated like this, he can't even believe that his Rian is the one behind all of this.
Suddenly, everything hits him like a tidal wave. Rian's been trying to get rid of him. It explains why he's been flirting with so many other boys in plain sight of Alex. Rian had slept perfectly every night that Alex had gotten home at five in the morning. Alex knew that Rian only slept soundly after he'd had sex, but Alex had just figured that he'd had some awkward masturbation session both those nights since Alex had been busy walking home.
He ends up calling Rian at about five in the morning, "Come pick me up from the hospital." He commands into his phone, hearing Rian scowl before he throws the covers off him (which Alex can tell from the rustling in the background).
"Fine," Rian says as he closes the door to their apartment and locks it, Alex hears from the other end of the phone, "I'll be there in fifteen minutes."
Alex waits in the lobby of the hospital for Rian, glaring angrily at the ground. When Rian pulls up, he nearly runs to the car, getting in and slamming the door shut as hard as he can.
"What happened-" Rian beings.
"Shut the fuck up," Alex interrupts, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you fucking understand the concept of the word 'stop'? What the hell made you think you could just ditch me like that? I should have fucking reported your ass."
"Look, I'm sorry Alex! I just can't afford getting charged for anything." Rian says pathetically.
"And I can? Fuck you Rian. You're an ass wipe." Alex spits out.
"Is that really how you're going to talk to your boyfriend? I love you too honey," Rian asks, sarcastically telling Alex that he loves him.
"Don't even fucking joke about that. I'm not feeling the love right now," Alex replies, glaring at Rian. They pull into the parking lot of Rian's apartment complex where Alex's car is parked. Alex gets out without saying goodbye, slamming the door loudly, getting glares from the people who haven't had their starbucks yet and are leaving for work.
Rian pulls into his apartment's garage as Alex pulls out of the parking lot. He calls Rian's cell phone, waiting two rings before it picks up. "Now that you can't kick me out of your car, we're through." Alex says coldly, hanging up before Rian can even reply.
Alex can't help but feel a weight lift off his shoulders, even though he knows that he's just ended an eighteen month relationship. It's by far the longest he's ever had as well as the hardest. It took a lot to get Rian to like him, taking to him at the club and simply being nice wasn't enough for Rian. Rian required work; a lot of it.
He'd always been needy, even from the very beginning. He had to be assured that he was the only one, just so that he wouldn't be jealous. Alex remembered the week he'd taken off a month after they'd started their relationship, it matched the week that Rian had off. They'd been attached at the hip that week and Alex doesn't even know how he survived that week, much less sixteen more months of Rian.
Alex has to admit, even though he'd been so sick of Rian seventeen months of their relationship, he'd learned a lot. He'd learned so much about himself it was insane. Like how he absolutely hated being hung off of like Rian had done, like he loved being loved, like he actually learned how to trust somebody.
If he hadn't been with Rian, he wouldn't have learned so much. If he had, he would have just wasted eighteen months of his life. He'd been damned if he'd dated Rian and damned if he hadn't.
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Would You Trade That Heart of Gold For a Minute in My Skin?
Chapter 1, Damned If I Do Ya (Damned If I Don't)
------
"Baby, stop it. Don't get in over your head," Alex whispers to Rian as he tries to pull him away from the snarling men. "I really don't want a fight." He doesn't want to fight. Alex is a general peace guy. It's probably only because Alex sort of sucks at fighting and always manages to get his ass kicked, but he doesn't like being mean either.
"Screw you," Rian replies as he jerks away. "Are you fucking scared or what?" He asks the two guys in front of them.
"I'm leaving then," Alex decides and starts to walk away. He feels his arm being pulled back by Rian, who glares at him.
"Are you my boyfriend or are you not?" Rian asks with a deadly voice, indirectly threatening the older boy. His eyes match his voice, like he's asking if Alex's really faithful, as though a fight will decide it.
"Yeah, I am," Alex confirms.
"Fags aren't appreciated around these parts," the bigger one of the two replies. He cracks his knuckles while his partner rolls his neck, cracking a bit in the process. Alex is scared shitless right now by these two.
"Suck my dick," Rian says acidly, lunging at them.
In the midst of the fight, Alex doesn't realize that Rian's bailed out. A few broken ribs, a black eye, and one cop later, Alex is sitting at a table with an alcohol soaked cloth to a gash on his cheek from the edge of a table.
"He didn't even put up a god damned fight. It suits him, the gay pussy."
Alex is bursting with anger, he can't even believe what's just happened to him. It's not the men that he's pissed of at, it's not the fact that he's been beaten to a pulp. It's the fact that his boyfriend got him into a fight and then left him to deal with the law. It's all Rian seems to have been doing lately, is setting Alex up only to leave him.
The police decided that it would be better not to send Alex in the car with the other two, so he's sitting here with one of the cops, the younger one thank God, until they return with another car. "So how'd you even get in this fight? Doesn't seem like you're the type to start it." The cop asks.
He's waiting to get taken in for questioning, even though they've confirmed that he's not being charged since he didn't even do anything. He sighs, which only hurts his probably broken rib, before he covers up for his boyfriend, "I had called my boyfriend Rian and told him I was out for a while. I told him that I loved him and the guys overheard. They told me that they didn't appreciate gays in their bar and basically just beat the shit out of me."
Every fiber of his being tells him to not lie, because the other two guys will definitely tell the truth, but he can't give Rian away. If they question any further about why his story is different, he'll just say that his mind is sort of fuzzy from being smacked on the ground. "At least, I think that's what happened," he continues, just to back up his story, "I mean, I did whack my head pretty hard."
The cop nods, believing everything, "How's your cut faring?" Alex pulls the cloth away from his cheek, which is completely soaked in his blood now. The bleeding doesn't stop and he replaces the cloth, even though probably isn't doing much for him anymore.
He sighs and applies a little more pressure, just to feel the pain in his cheek throb. He's so angry that it's taking some of his focus off his anger. He's been giving up everything for Rian lately and so far he hasn't gotten much in return.
The police car returns and they take Alex away, but not before giving him a new cloth. The questioning goes pretty smoothly, Alex mostly faking forgetting most of the details before he whacked his the back of his head on the table. The same cop that sat with him in the bar takes him to the emergency room in the hospital since the urgent care is currently closed.
The doctor informs Alex that he has two broken ribs and a huge bruise on the back of his head. He stitches the gash on Alex's cheek together, covering it up and tells Alex to remove it once the wound has stopped bleeding. The boy can't help but want to punch something, with all the things that he's gone through because of Rian. This is the third time that Rian had done something of the sort, only the times before hadn't been as bad.
Leaving Alex at a club half way across town to let him walk home, the second time was even further than the time before. Alex can't understand why he's being treated like this, he can't even believe that his Rian is the one behind all of this.
Suddenly, everything hits him like a tidal wave. Rian's been trying to get rid of him. It explains why he's been flirting with so many other boys in plain sight of Alex. Rian had slept perfectly every night that Alex had gotten home at five in the morning. Alex knew that Rian only slept soundly after he'd had sex, but Alex had just figured that he'd had some awkward masturbation session both those nights since Alex had been busy walking home.
He ends up calling Rian at about five in the morning, "Come pick me up from the hospital." He commands into his phone, hearing Rian scowl before he throws the covers off him (which Alex can tell from the rustling in the background).
"Fine," Rian says as he closes the door to their apartment and locks it, Alex hears from the other end of the phone, "I'll be there in fifteen minutes."
Alex waits in the lobby of the hospital for Rian, glaring angrily at the ground. When Rian pulls up, he nearly runs to the car, getting in and slamming the door shut as hard as he can.
"What happened-" Rian beings.
"Shut the fuck up," Alex interrupts, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you fucking understand the concept of the word 'stop'? What the hell made you think you could just ditch me like that? I should have fucking reported your ass."
"Look, I'm sorry Alex! I just can't afford getting charged for anything." Rian says pathetically.
"And I can? Fuck you Rian. You're an ass wipe." Alex spits out.
"Is that really how you're going to talk to your boyfriend? I love you too honey," Rian asks, sarcastically telling Alex that he loves him.
"Don't even fucking joke about that. I'm not feeling the love right now," Alex replies, glaring at Rian. They pull into the parking lot of Rian's apartment complex where Alex's car is parked. Alex gets out without saying goodbye, slamming the door loudly, getting glares from the people who haven't had their starbucks yet and are leaving for work.
Rian pulls into his apartment's garage as Alex pulls out of the parking lot. He calls Rian's cell phone, waiting two rings before it picks up. "Now that you can't kick me out of your car, we're through." Alex says coldly, hanging up before Rian can even reply.
Alex can't help but feel a weight lift off his shoulders, even though he knows that he's just ended an eighteen month relationship. It's by far the longest he's ever had as well as the hardest. It took a lot to get Rian to like him, taking to him at the club and simply being nice wasn't enough for Rian. Rian required work; a lot of it.
He'd always been needy, even from the very beginning. He had to be assured that he was the only one, just so that he wouldn't be jealous. Alex remembered the week he'd taken off a month after they'd started their relationship, it matched the week that Rian had off. They'd been attached at the hip that week and Alex doesn't even know how he survived that week, much less sixteen more months of Rian.
Alex has to admit, even though he'd been so sick of Rian seventeen months of their relationship, he'd learned a lot. He'd learned so much about himself it was insane. Like how he absolutely hated being hung off of like Rian had done, like he loved being loved, like he actually learned how to trust somebody.
If he hadn't been with Rian, he wouldn't have learned so much. If he had, he would have just wasted eighteen months of his life. He'd been damned if he'd dated Rian and damned if he hadn't.
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