物の哀れ (The pathos of things) for crownkissed
For: crownkissed
From: Anonymous for now
Title: 物の哀れ (The pathos of things)
Rating: PG
Word count: ~4900 words
Summary: Yifan was writing himself into an early grave when he met Baekhyun, who believed in living.
Warning/s pre-narrative minor character death, non-eating disorder weight loss mentions
Notes: Firstly an enormous thanks to the mods for letting me ( Read more... )
From: Anonymous for now
Title: 物の哀れ (The pathos of things)
Rating: PG
Word count: ~4900 words
Summary: Yifan was writing himself into an early grave when he met Baekhyun, who believed in living.
Warning/s pre-narrative minor character death, non-eating disorder weight loss mentions
Notes: Firstly an enormous thanks to the mods for letting me ( Read more... )
I was gonna wait till I had time but then this exchange kinda stopped and I forgot...........
this prompt wasn't my favorite one, I'd admit, it was one I was planning to write myself. nevertheless, I think you almost got what I wanted. I wasn't expecting smut, hahah don't worry about that!
I liked how baekhyun just appears suddenly when kris is weak, and I liked how you inserted kris' thoughts randomly just cutting the sentence halfway through. I can't say why exactly I liked it, but it just felt like the story was more relatable? like the story was moving together with kris, and not just narrating from the sidelines, if you get what I mean.
I also liked all the sentences you put between different scenes! pretty vocabulary and descriptive stuff wheeeeeeeee. not sure why you used 'yifan' in the fic and then a few 'kris's in those short sentences though!
and also how you managed to weave the whole maze thing throughout the entire story, it's like the maze is the underlying theme, noticeable if one reads a little deeper. kris has been stuck in a maze, and baekhyun manages to get him out.
at the beginning you mentioned how kris used to build houses for people who didn't treasure their lives, which made him question his existence, then after baekhyun appeared you explicitly addressed kris' earlier question about whether he was truly living, by letting us know that baekhyun would help kris live for real.
yeah okay if I spend more time on this it might turn into a long comment. I'd like to know who you are, if possible!!! contact meeee :-) <333
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