All the things I can't say.
"Every song has a you, a you that the singer sings to, and you're it this time, you're it this time..." -- Ani Difranco
[edit: Clarification to avoid confusion. Each point is separate from every other point. Some refer to multiple people, sometimes multiple points refer all to the same person. They are not meant as attacks, and no response is needed. Nor is trying to figure out who goes with which. I just needed to get it out there.]
I know things aren't alright with you, but I don't know how to help you make them right. I feel helpless.
I'm sorry I keep thinking I have feelings for you, only to find out that I don't, or that they're not nearly enough. I know I've probably been leading you on, but I promise it wasn't with malicious intent. It won't happen again.
I care about you, but why do you insist on repeatedly asserting the side of you that's such an asshole?
Do you really see me? Or just making friendly smalltalk?
I don't like that I feel like I have to live up to some standard I can't identify when I'm around you. I end up feeling like I'm lying, even when I'm not. I'm just searching for the 'right' answer.
I love you, but even though I insist it's only platonic I still get the distinct feeling that it bothers you. So I try not to say things that would make you uncomfortable, but only end up feeling inauthentic.
I wish I had the courage to find out if you are right.
If we had as good of conversations in person that we do online, I would definitely be into you. But we don't. And I think that's a shame.
I'm not sure what sort of notions are going around in your head, but I don't think that I reciprocate them. No offense.
I don't know why I even bring things up with you anymore. You don't really seem to hear me unless you want to argue about it. You want to keep in touch, but you have no idea what's going on with me. And I'm sick of watching you make decisions that I disagree with so wholeheartedly.
Why can't you just grow up? You're not always right. You never have been.
You're the only person I feel comfortable in my affections toward. And that's only because I know it's never going to go anywhere. The possibility of something actually happening scares the shit out of me.
[edit: Clarification to avoid confusion. Each point is separate from every other point. Some refer to multiple people, sometimes multiple points refer all to the same person. They are not meant as attacks, and no response is needed. Nor is trying to figure out who goes with which. I just needed to get it out there.]
I know things aren't alright with you, but I don't know how to help you make them right. I feel helpless.
I'm sorry I keep thinking I have feelings for you, only to find out that I don't, or that they're not nearly enough. I know I've probably been leading you on, but I promise it wasn't with malicious intent. It won't happen again.
I care about you, but why do you insist on repeatedly asserting the side of you that's such an asshole?
Do you really see me? Or just making friendly smalltalk?
I don't like that I feel like I have to live up to some standard I can't identify when I'm around you. I end up feeling like I'm lying, even when I'm not. I'm just searching for the 'right' answer.
I love you, but even though I insist it's only platonic I still get the distinct feeling that it bothers you. So I try not to say things that would make you uncomfortable, but only end up feeling inauthentic.
I wish I had the courage to find out if you are right.
If we had as good of conversations in person that we do online, I would definitely be into you. But we don't. And I think that's a shame.
I'm not sure what sort of notions are going around in your head, but I don't think that I reciprocate them. No offense.
I don't know why I even bring things up with you anymore. You don't really seem to hear me unless you want to argue about it. You want to keep in touch, but you have no idea what's going on with me. And I'm sick of watching you make decisions that I disagree with so wholeheartedly.
Why can't you just grow up? You're not always right. You never have been.
You're the only person I feel comfortable in my affections toward. And that's only because I know it's never going to go anywhere. The possibility of something actually happening scares the shit out of me.