im tired of everything.
Walking away.
It's not the same as running
Is it to you now
That you've run this in the ground?
and you say "Take this,
This medicine is just what you deserve
Swallow, choke, and die.
And this bitter pill is leaving you with such an angry mouth
One that's void of all discretion, such an awful tearing sound
With its measure only equaled by the power of my stare
Glaring over you and over you, this feeling of despair
Is never wearing out.
It's wearing off
And it's leaving you with such a heavy heart
And a head to match
The bottle is waiting
The cap is twisted, begging to be used
And so are you.
And this bitter pill is leaving you with such an angry mouth
One that's void of all discretion, such an awful tearing sound
With its measure only equaled by the power of my stare
Glaring over you and over you, this feeling of despair
Is never wearing out.
Wearing out, wearing out.
that song is so heartfelt. its the epitome of depression. i want to be rid of this depression. i plan on dying, cos i have no hope for anything. i know its too soon to say, but i doubt if i'll ever have love. its already screwed me over for more than i'd asked for anyways. so i say, if you dont have love, why have anything?
going on a date with randy today. i dont know if its actually a date, but thats what im calling it. i pissed off his friend really bad yesterday cos she was being dumb and not appreciating his opinions, so i made fun of her opinions so she could see what its like. im sposed to fight her by a river today at 11 pm. right.
anyways, i have to go to summer school. god, why dont i kill myself now and get it over with? i mean jesus, i know im going nowhere with my live, so why pretend like i am? im gonna be stuck in a hospital forever. thats how it'll be, cos i'll fall for some guy (or girl, for that matter), they'll be too old or there will be complecations, i'll be devestated (like i am now), and i'll end up trying to slit my wrists again (like ive done before). so why sit through the whole show? why not just skip all of that now?
i'll end up just like my dad. no one likes him, and hes friggin crazy. that'll be me. no talent at all. i mean, my dad and i both have artistic talent, but his is fucked cos of his drinking. mine isnt even that good. when i have inspiration, i cant use it cos it harms me. and then i get too involved and his eyes..
fuck it.
matt and tasha, im so entirely happy for you. you dont even know. i wish i could find a love that strong. i thought i had, but whats it worth if its love only on my part? you guys better get married and have like, 16.3 kids. and i gots to be the godmother.
emery is killing me. so is deathcab. and the postal service, underoath, silverstein...i think all of those bands should go away cos they hurt too much.
It's not the same as running
Is it to you now
That you've run this in the ground?
and you say "Take this,
This medicine is just what you deserve
Swallow, choke, and die.
And this bitter pill is leaving you with such an angry mouth
One that's void of all discretion, such an awful tearing sound
With its measure only equaled by the power of my stare
Glaring over you and over you, this feeling of despair
Is never wearing out.
It's wearing off
And it's leaving you with such a heavy heart
And a head to match
The bottle is waiting
The cap is twisted, begging to be used
And so are you.
And this bitter pill is leaving you with such an angry mouth
One that's void of all discretion, such an awful tearing sound
With its measure only equaled by the power of my stare
Glaring over you and over you, this feeling of despair
Is never wearing out.
Wearing out, wearing out.
that song is so heartfelt. its the epitome of depression. i want to be rid of this depression. i plan on dying, cos i have no hope for anything. i know its too soon to say, but i doubt if i'll ever have love. its already screwed me over for more than i'd asked for anyways. so i say, if you dont have love, why have anything?
going on a date with randy today. i dont know if its actually a date, but thats what im calling it. i pissed off his friend really bad yesterday cos she was being dumb and not appreciating his opinions, so i made fun of her opinions so she could see what its like. im sposed to fight her by a river today at 11 pm. right.
anyways, i have to go to summer school. god, why dont i kill myself now and get it over with? i mean jesus, i know im going nowhere with my live, so why pretend like i am? im gonna be stuck in a hospital forever. thats how it'll be, cos i'll fall for some guy (or girl, for that matter), they'll be too old or there will be complecations, i'll be devestated (like i am now), and i'll end up trying to slit my wrists again (like ive done before). so why sit through the whole show? why not just skip all of that now?
i'll end up just like my dad. no one likes him, and hes friggin crazy. that'll be me. no talent at all. i mean, my dad and i both have artistic talent, but his is fucked cos of his drinking. mine isnt even that good. when i have inspiration, i cant use it cos it harms me. and then i get too involved and his eyes..
fuck it.
matt and tasha, im so entirely happy for you. you dont even know. i wish i could find a love that strong. i thought i had, but whats it worth if its love only on my part? you guys better get married and have like, 16.3 kids. and i gots to be the godmother.
emery is killing me. so is deathcab. and the postal service, underoath, silverstein...i think all of those bands should go away cos they hurt too much.